eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

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Rest well, baoshi.

[he murmurs the term softly, even as he can see Dohalim falling asleep. what a mess this is... when the servant enters with the bowl, Zhongli raises a finger to his lips to keep the conversation from disturbing the Renan, and he nods in turn.]

My apologies, His Lordship has finally fallen asleep. Have the meal kept ready to be heated when he's awoken, if you would.

[his tone is soft, gentler than usual even, as Zhongli shifts enough to let the servant see that yes, Dohalim is fine and resting comfortably. there's not much to be done about his own position here, but that's fine. it would get out eventually anyway, and he suspects any particularly upsetting rumours will be taken care of without any effort on their part.]

[the servant nods, watching them for a moment as he shifts the tray in his hands to hold it a little bit more comfortably. There’s a slight discomfort he feels seeing someone so close to Dohalim, but it’s said that one must be comfortable and trusting to be able to fall asleep around someone else. He does have to wonder if there’ something more than meets the eye with this traveller for his lord to be so attached so soon after what had happened with the attempted uprising.

But his concern over Zhongli is overpowered by his own worry for Dohalim; a worry that most, if not all of the palace has for their lord. None of them have seen him in such a state, and he does have to wonder if all that had come to light was just too much for him to handle. He’d always equated Dohalim with a sort of grace and strength, someone strong enough to have turned typical Renan ideals into one of equality, and to convince his own kind to accept such radical ideas. So to see him fallen, to see him in such a state… it’s disconcerting.

“Is he alright? I mean, truly alright?”

His voice is low and soft, almost worried about the answer]

[he can't really blame the man, all told. at least, in the end, Zhongli did get a shirt on - the scandals would be wild otherwise, he thinks. still, at the question, the deity offers a nod.]

He should be alright with some rest. Lord Dohalim is strong, but even Renans are prone to sickness when they overwork themselves. [it's surprisingly difficult not to go back to stroking the Renan's hair, what with someone else here.] He likely cannot speak to how much he needs his people's assistance, wanting to be strong for you as he has been.

[it's just a little bit of a play; Zhongli never said he wouldn't make suggestions on Dohalim's state. and to say it this way, it's less implying that Dohalim has any weaknesses as it is implying that assistance will simply streamline things and make him have to work less. that should be fair.]

[“That isn’t what I meant—-“

The servant snaps silent, trying to catch his words, but it’s too late. He instantly looks regretful at what he’s said, looking away.

“Apologies… I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m just worried for him. A lot of us are. A lot has happened recently, and… I don’t know, Lord Dohalim just seems a little… Different.”

He shakes his head, looking back at Zhongli with a look that matches his apologetic tone. He’s being presumptuous, the thinks.

“…Never mind. Maybe I’m just imagining things.”]

I'm aware; His Lordship is held in high regard for good reason. But,

[of course, he is being presumptuous. Zhongli doesn't seem the least bit upset, at least, his tone even and calm as ever.]

If something is troubling him, it would hardly my business to say so even were I privy to that, don't you think? [he's not a nark, Karen.] I believe it would be a better use of the time to see what burdens can be lifted from him, to help prove to him beyond a doubt that his people still see him as worthy.

[he raises a finger to stop any protest on that immediate subject before continuing.]

What you and I see with ease is not the case for all people, after all. One could misunderstand how they are seen quite easily, if one is already blaming themselves for what they perceive as failures.

[it does take a moment for him to piece together what Zhongli is saying; as smooth a talker as he is, he is still rather verbose and does often confuse not only him, but a lot of the Dahnans as well. Sometimes, they can’t make heads or tails of what the man says, and all they really do is nod and smile. Dohalim… isn’t all that different in the way he speaks, either, now that he thinks about it.

But he does eventually come to a conclusion as it clicks; his hands grip the tray tightly.

“Are you saying that Lord Dohalim blames himself for Kelzalik’s coup? Why would he…”

Dohalim has done so much for them. How could he see himself as a failure?]

I said nothing of the sort, only spoke of what might cause one to change so drastically in such a short time.

[Zhongli knows as well as this man does that it was implied, but the intent is clear: this is not something Dohalim wants his people to know. that fact alone will make it hard to work around, at least so that it doesn't become obvious that it's become known.]

That said, I think he'll come to understand how things truly are eventually. [because Zhongli's not going to stop fucking meddling until he does.]

[the servant falls silent again, shifting on the spot as he considers saying something else or just leaving it be. There are so many unanswered questions, even from those who found Dohalim in the forest. There’s something going on, but everyone’s being hush hush about it. But it’s not like there’s a particular malevolence about it, just… something that maybe should be kept under wraps, for now. And it seems like the other man has a handle on it for now, and it seems like Dohalim is letting him take care of it.

So he’ll push all of those questions aside, save for one.

“Will he be alright?”]

[Zhongli's smile turns... tender then, gentle. his gaze turns to Dohalim, hands still gently folded in his lap though they are.]

If it is the last thing I do, he will be alright. You have my word on that.

[the rest... well, the rest will be what it is.]

[there's another moment where he considers Zhongli's words, and the weight of them. he's in no position to make a decision on whether or not Dohalim should trust the man, but it seems as if Zhongli hadn't left his lord's side much since the incident. maybe he, and the rest of the court, could trust him as well. though the nervousness of having someone so close to the Renan worries him just a little bit.

but... strength in numbers, right? if Zhongli were to slight their lord, he and the people of Menancia would most likely rise against him. surely, he has to know that...

so, he nods, and carefully bows with the tray still in hand, and steps back towards the door.

"If there's anything we can do, let us know." and with that, he's gone.

a day or two passes without any real incident; Dohalim seemingly taking heed of Zhongli's suggestion to stay in bed, much to his chagrin. as ill as he still feels, he does also feel rather antsy being in bed all day. he doesn't know what's going on in the palace, and in the city, and as much as he tries to calm himself down to rest more, he does have those spikes of nervousness. time and again, he can feel the corruption try to pluck at it, but more often than not, he reaches out to the deity through their bond to try to tamp it down.

though, that doesn't stop him from trying to convince Zhongli on the fourth day to let him sit in at least one meeting, despite the fever still present and the overall ill feeling]

--Please, Zhongli. I need to know what's going on in the city. I'm asking for one meeting.

[for his part, Zhongli does try not to hover over Dohalim too much. he's aware that the man must be getting antsy - guesses at it even before it becomes plainly obvious in the first few days, really. still, the more he gets up, the more recovery he's going to need. with his people happy to wait on him hand and foot and Zhongli to do what they cannot, there's not much he's had to do. moreover, hearing what's going on from servants and individuals visiting his room is no substitute for the real thing.

so really, by the fourth day, he's certainly feeling more charitable. the fever is still present, true, but it's likely that more fresh air would do him well now. sighing, Zhongli reaches to test his temperature with the back of a hand, still looking at him with concern on his face.]

... One meeting. I'll be by your side throughout, unless there's something you deem I should be absent for.

[brushing the man's hair back, he leans forward to press their foreheads together in a soft, affectionate gesture.]

I'll prepare your regalia... it would be best if we could leave you a little more dressed down, of course, but...

[but he knows how much appearances mean to the Renan.]

[Dohalim's eyes flutter closed at the press of their foreheads together; Zhongli's skin against his feels a little cooler. there's a soft sigh at that before he pulls away, shaking his head]

No... I would rather be dressed in my full regalia.

[there's already so much of his routine and duties that have been tossed in the air that he's not sure how much changing his dressing routine would throw him off as well. he'd rather not test that theory out.

Dohalim slowly stands, testing out his stability, before nodding towards his wardrobe. so far so good, he hasn't felt the floor tip from under him, and he doesn't feel so lightheaded this time. sure, this all remains to be seen, but at least for now, he can keep himself upright. and it's not like he's going to be doing much running around at this meeting, either.

now, if only this fever would break...]

So I expected.

[he does direct Dohalim to remain seated or brace himself on the deity for as much of the process as possible, just in case. it's an easy enough task after so many times, and Zhongli moves swiftly indeed this time.

when he's done, he places his hands on either side of the redhead's jaw, expression pensive. he'll just pretend he was inspecting him, ensuring his own comfort that Dohalim is solid enough on his feet... after which, he nods and offers a small smile.]

Alright then. Shall we? I suspect your people will be relieved to see you looking a little better.

[though he doesn't outright offer himself as a brace to steady Dohalim on, the intent is clearly there. maybe he's fussing too much, but he would rather do that than have some disaster strike.]

[and, for once, Dohalim doesn't protest, hands sliding up to hold onto Zhongli's shoulders to keep himself steady when he's standing. every so often, he leans in to rest his forehead into the crook of the deity's neck, breathing him in for a moment to take comfort in him. Zhongli's truly been so good to him, and even though the corruption had whispered things like the deity turning his back on him, or betraying him like Kelzalik did, Dohalim... mostly ignores it. he's slowly starting to understand the time and effor spent on him is time and effort Zhongli is happy to spend. he still doesn't see the value of it, but he's questioned it a little less.

as Zhongli cradles his face with those warm, strong hands, it takes so much of Dohalim not to lean in to press their lips together. he instead commits every line and curve of his face to memory, before letting himself be drawn into those amber eyes, bright in the sunlight beaming through the window. being in his presence almost makes Dohalim forget his illness; it's disappointing when Zhongli finally pulls away. Dohalim does test out his own stability; he's a little shaky on his feet still, but it's nothing to worry about, he thinks]

Yes, let's.

[the faces he sees as he walks out of his room and down the halls of Autelina Palace have bright expressions as his people offer smiles of relief to see their lord up and out. some of them had been able to come see him in his room when their duties called for it, but he'd looked so miserable. like Zhongli, however, the do also keep a watchful, but subtle eye on Dohalim as he walks by, just in case.

as he's greeted by the committee members (some, by surprise) when he walks into the meeting room and takes his seat, Dohalim waves them off politely, shaking his head]

No need for pleasantries. I apologise for being late.

[it's a long moment, sweetly soft as both men ignore their own wishes. really, Zhongli has to wonder if he wouldn't do something if not for the excuse that they have somewhere to be. perhaps... perhaps later. he can tide himself over with that.

there's nothing more to be said, and he keeps close to Dohalim as they exit the room and start toward the meeting room. he greets people only occasionally, mostly with a mild smile as they get the reassurance of seeing their lord up and about. most of his attention is, unsurprisingly, on the young man; a fact that should hardly be surprising.

when they reach the meeting room he takes his seat once Dohalim does the same, staying quiet throughout the greetings. fingers lace together in his lap then, contented to settle in and provide little more than his presence for the redhead's reassurance. likely, no one will have anything to say about it, but there's always the chance.]

[there's the temptation to want to take Zhongli's hand in his or rest a hand on him, but Dohalim refrains from doing so. spending the last few days so close to the deity's vicinity, it's strange to be apart from him despite how close they're sitting; Dohalim wants some of that contact still. but again, he refrains.

as boring as the meeting is (like most of them, really), Dohalim is glad that he's there to, at least, be a presence, and to update himself in current affairs. there are topics they touch on that Dohalim can ponder on when he's resting again, and there's nothing that's a pressing matter at the moment. it's... almost a relief, that Viscint and Menancia is self sustaining enough that he can sit back and let the citizens take care of the smaller issues.

though, at some point, his attention fades off for a moment. voices around him almost sound muffled as something else catches his attention; a gentle... something, whispering in his ears. if words are being spoken, he can't make them out, but it's almost... guiding, and soothing, not like the corruption. no, this is something else completely, and he's compelled to want to follow it. so engrossed, he has to remind himself that he can't just up and leave in the middle of the meeting, but the temptation is there.

Dohalim does miss when he's being addressed, so into his own head and thoughts, and only snaps back to the room when his name is spoken for a third time]

--Apologies. What was it you were asking me?

["Only if there was anything else you would like to add." there are looks of concern sent his way, the committee members worried for their lord again. perhaps they really should wrap this up so he can rest. maybe they were here for longer than his current stamina can handle...

Dohalim shakes his head and gives them a polite smile. he'll have to read the meeting transcripts later, it seems]

[It's a subtle thing, something Zhongli himself doesn't really notice. After a moment he's noted the distraction, but as to its cause? He hasn't a clue. If he thought about it, perhaps it would be familiar, but all that's on his mind is Dohalim now.

So he's there as they get his attention, concern on his face in turn. It really wouldn't be such a bad thing to adjourn the meeting for later, he thinks. Dohalim still has a fair bit of recovery ahead of him, after all, and Zhongli intends to see him well again soon.]

A recess, at the least, would likely do everyone good. At least long enough to brew a nice tea, don't you think?

["I think we can end it here. I think any other points we make would end up in redundancy. The meeting is adjourned, and a transcription will be sent to everyone."

there's a shuffle of chairs as everyone stands, each of the members bowing politely at Dohalim before carrying their own conversations with each other. there's another small smile Dohalim flashes at everyone before he himself stands, and without much else to say, leads himself out the door (but not without making sure that Zhongli is behind him).

as he steps back out into the corridor, the voice calls to him again, still just as soothing and gentle, but incoherent. if only he could make it out... unconsciously, Dohalim shuffles down the hallway, seemingly trying to head to the entrance of the palace. he's quiet, trying to listen to that voice, trying to hear what it's saying]

[The deity nods in agreement as they adjourn the meeting, rising as Dohalim does. As before, he takes his place not far from the redhead - just enough that it won't draw attention really.

They start off, but it's not long before he realises the direction isn't going to take them back to Dohalim's room. Concern furrows his brows again, and he steps forward a little more.]

Dohalim? Is something the matter?

[He'll call to him, and if it takes too long will just place a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention.]

[it's that hand on Dohalim's shoulder that stops him from continuing, even though his feet want to keep going. He's so compelled to follow, wanting to know what the source of that soothing energy is from. But Zhongli's equally soothing and warm hand on him gets him to heel for the moment]

Do you not...

[his voice is soft, still straining to hear the whispers, but soon does he turn his attention back on the deity, shaking his head. He lifts a hand up to rub at his forehead; ah, he's still rather warm... maybe the voice is a byproduct of his fever...]

...Sorry. I think... I think I should go lie down.

... Dohalim...

[Zhongli watches him for a moment, reaching to check his fever in turn. it's not really any worse than before, he thinks...]

If there is something you think we should explore, I will support you as much as you need.

[his smile is soft then, warm and gentle. there's no movement to brush against his jaw or lean in to press foreheads together - they're in public still, after all - but his posture suggests he wants to.]

But if you're certain, we can lie down as well.

I...

[there's a soft pull from that presence that almost tells him to follow that feeling, to seek out whatever it is that's calling to him. He's not afraid of it, not like he is if the corruption when it tries to claim him. It... there's a familiarity that comes with it, oddly enough.

Dohalim's attention is pulled from Zhongli again as he looks towards the palace entrance, itching to go find the source. He shouldn't... not when the other man had agreed to let him out of bed for the duration of one meeting]

It's strange... it's as if something is calling out to me, but I can't hear its words. But it's not like the corruption... it's almost... nurturing.

Nurturing...

[Could it really be? Perhaps he's been too long gone to hear her himself, or the alignments between them are too awry. If it really is her though... he reaches out to squeeze Dohalim's shoulder.]

If you think you can lead the way, let's follow the line. There is a chance it will provide us with a clue to better help you, and as long as I'm here, you should be alright.

[If he collapses or some such, Zhongli can carry him back or wait it out with him.]

[Dohalim doesn't even wait to weigh out his options as he nods, and steps towards the entrance again, letting himself fully be led to where he should go. it's not even a want to follow at this point, but a need, to find out what this presence is, and why it's calling out to him.

he's silent the entire way out of the city, so engrossed that he's in an almost trance like state, not noticing the smiles or polite bows of the citizens they walk by. as soon as they leave Viscint, there are small pauses in his step as he listens to the voice, stronger now as they walk through Traslida Highway. he can finally make out that it's a woman's voice, still soft and nurturing, gently guiding him. the pull is still there, but it's as if she's holding his hand as he walks closer towards his goal.

most of the highway is leveled out to make traveling along it easier, but there are some pathways that are not as neatly tended to, making traversing through it a bit harder. on a better day, Dohalim wouldn't even struggle with it, especially with his penchant of sneaking away from the city to walk along such paths by himself, but there's a bit of a struggle with his illness. his breathing comes out in sharp puffs, and there are a couple times he stumbles, but he continues. he needs to find her, he needs to find out what she wants from him.

they eventually reach a small grove of trees surrounding a much bigger one, seemingly out of place for the flora of the area. it seems to exude a large amount of astral energy; it's what draws Dohalim to it first, before he notices a woman sitting under it. it's when he steps towards her that he feels the ground under him tilt; he pitches forward as adrenaline suddenly leaves him]

[Zhongli's concern doesn't leave him as they walk, though it doesn't show on his face until they get outside of the city. there, with fewer people around, he can stay closer and catch Dohalim on every stumble. he does his best to let the Renan have his independence, but he has no intention of letting him injure himself.

when they finally reach the grove of trees, he can start to feel it himself. it's such a familiar feeling, producing a sweet sort of nostalgia. there's been far too much time since they last talked, and he isn't sure if it is a good idea right now. but his thoughts are cut short as Dohalim pitches forward, a faintly alarmed noise on his lips as he catches the younger man.]

Dohalim... take your time. [brows furrowed, he pulls Dohalim to himself, gently bracing him along his side.] Take a few slow breaths...

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