eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wouldn't call it a parasite, precisely. It's more... complex than that, if my hunch is right.

[after all, it's something unrelated to him and all he is - which implies that it's from elsewhere. it means something, and eventually, he knows... it will be instrumental in understanding what truly happened.]

... Probably because you lack the typical ego of your other peers. You have compassion and you have self-doubt, and you are by and large more human than most Lords I have seen or heard of. I can't begin to speak for it, of course... but, if I were to look into history, there are circumstances not dissimilar.

This was more prominent in the time when there were more Gods and Dahnans were still in their relative infancy, but- some of the Gods would use their abilities to possess those they believed could progress their agendas, to try and become more powerful. In almost no cases were the possessions fatal.

[granted, he personally took action against most of them, but... it's still true enough.]

So you mean to say it's more of a possession than parasitic. I'm not sure if this is better or worse at this point.

[an assumption of Zhongli's words, of course, but is it inaccurate? Dohalim doesn't think so. not when it has taken over him, pulled him into the recesses of his mind. not fully in control, now that he thinks on it, but enough that he can barely pull himself back out without the deity's help.

what he doesn't like about this insinuation is the idea of what the corruption's plan would be, then. if it's like those other gods, what is it planning to do? and how will it use him?

there are, as usual, only more questions than answers at this point; Dohalim brings a hand up to press against his face. he does feel the slightest bit warm again, a reminder that he was supposed to rest, and while Rukkhadevata had mostly cured his illness, there were still some lingering effects of his fever]

If it were true, then what is it's plan? What does it want from me?

It was simply meant as an example.

[There's a soft sigh then; he's somewhat tired of himself and his inability to find the right words. Perhaps feigning more ignorance would have been smarter, but...

It doesn't really matter, he supposes. Setting Dohalim on the bed, he reaches to brush the Renan's hair back.]

I wish I knew. The truth is that I'm only guessing, based upon the things I've seen. Which is why [He leans in to press his lips over top of Dohalim's hand, then back again] you should rest and recover, so you can ask someone more knowledgeable.

To that end, I should unlock the door. I can remain like this for a time, at least until you can fall asleep, if you'd like.

[He'd mentioned being pleased with the weight of his tail, after all...]

[Dohalim sighs softly at the small signs of affection; the gentle brush of lips against his skin, and the welcomed warmth of being pressed against Zhongli. there's a reluctance of letting go of the deity, his arms that had wrapped around the other's shoulders as he was taken to bed tighten ever so slightly. ah, it really does seem that he's so attached to the god that this could become a problem if the corruption were to twist it, but... he wants Zhongli by his side. especially with the loss of someone he thought he could trust, Dohalim feels he needs that sort of security. and he likes having him close.

but rest is also something he should do, and that means actually settling into bed]

If you don't mind... Your tail...

[he's a little apprehensive about asking for Zhongli's tail (something he's still getting accustomed to seeing), but it does provide some sort of comfort for him. perhaps it really is the weight of it, or maybe it's something else, but the fact remains: he wants it wrapped around him for when he fades into sleep]

Of course I don't mind.

[there's no hesitation in it, as he turns the lock on the door - there's always a risk someone will arrive too early, but many things can be explained away without too much issue if need be. with that done, the deity slips into the bed beside Dohalim, settling in on his side.]

Position it as you like, just... try not to pull too much, lest you make me a bit antsy.

[that's a word for it. still, pulling the blankets up, he lets his tail flump over Dohalim's side, curling down against his leg on its own. his hands move to pull his torso closer, stroking gently over his skin.]

[Dohalim is rather careful in the way he handles Zhongli's tail, moving it along his side to make it a little more comfortable for the both of them. now knowing just what kind of touches against the appendage could rile the deity up, Dohalim refrains from stimulating him too much with his touch, though he can't help but gently trace some of the scales along with his finger. he's still amazed at how smooth they feel.

he doesn't say anything as he settles into the warmth, exhaustion finally claiming him. eyes flutter closed, and soon, the warmth and weight lull him to sleep.

a week goes by and Dohalim feels better physically; no fever is present and he's back to his usual work. though, this time, the people of his court and the staff in the palace do make sure he gets his rest more now, lest he fall ill again. from time to time, it does take some convincing for Dohalim to delegate certain tasks to others, but in the end, he does end up doing it. if not to avoid raising concern from his people, but so he doesn't have to hear it from Zhongli. all in all, he's not as tired as he usually is, anymore.

but it seems that moment of unguardedness is the perfect opportunity for the corruption to pick at Dohalim again, telling him that the gods are hiding things from him. that, if it had anything to do with him, they're choosing to withhold that information. and that sparks something in the Renan, his own mind being taken back to Kelzalik, and how he'd hidden growing discourse from him.

"Do you want to be left in the dark again?" it asks him.

no. he doesn't.

and that's the moment the corruption takes over, in the middle of the night. he'd woken from his sleep with a jolt, staring up at the ceiling. it's taken over again, it seems, by how foggy his mind is, and how cold he feels. this time, Dohalim doesn't fight it as he feels himself push up to sit in bed.

if no one will give him any answers, he'll just gave to get them by force]

[it's easier than he expected, really, to fall asleep like this. Dohalim's fingers tracing over his scales are unobtrusive and comforting, and perhaps he'd worn himself out a little with all they'd done. nothing a little rest won't fix, of course.

and just like that, a week passes by. life goes relatively back to normal, with Dohalim slowly allowing his people to help him with tasks they can help with. it's a good push forward, all told, but it can't last forever.

Zhongli knows that, though there is a small part of him that wishes it would simply just... relax. be what it is.

it's more sudden than usual, this shift. a little pick at all the things he doesn't know, eating at Dohalim's insecurities in ways he's not capable of fixing. but... ultimately, with Rukkhadevata around, they're in a better position than not. more than he knows, as it turns out.

this night, Dohalim sits up and Zhongli exhales a muffled noise, his eyes not quite opening as he stirs just enough to slur out a question.]

Dohalim? 's something wrong?

[maybe he's taken to this being a comfortable sort of routine, somehow. not long ago, he would have been awakened immediately, but now? now, he's not as worried. not truly.]

[Dohalim doesn't say anything as his gaze shifts down at Zhongli for a moment. it would be so easy to strike at him and try to force out answers, but why waste energy on a god who doesn't have the world's information in the palm of their hands? why try to dig answers out of a god who refuses to answer certain things because of his cursed contract, one he would rather uphold than reveal hidden truths? does Zhongli want him to remain ignorant? does Zhongli want a repeat of what happened?

perhaps it's the corruption fueling it, but he refuses to be kept from all of this. so, still with no word, Dohalim swings his legs over the edge of his bed before standing. there's a quick shuffle for shoes and a cloak in his closet, not paying attention if Zhongli had truly woken up yet. by the looks of it, he still seemed half asleep; maybe if he were to sneak out quickly, then he could make his escape.

so it's an attempt. he doesn't check on the deity to see if he's still in bed, as he slips out from his room]

[of course, he wants none of those things. Zhongli wants only for Dohalim to have the confidence he deserves, to know that he's so much more than whence he came.

Maybe it's that thought that stays him when the Renan doesn't answer. He doesn't seem to be in distress, and so there's just a slow resonance that trails over their bond, a reminder that he's here. That all of this matters. In that moment it's about all he can do, drifting as he is. Dohalim is lucky, really.

He'll remain in bed for a time, indeed, before the sensation of cold draws him into wakefulness. That will probably bring an uptick of panic... but it isn't yet of note.]

[every guard Dohalim passes by, he gives the same reasoning for his wakefulness at the moment: that he couldn't sleep, and that he needs some air, no he'll be fine, don't worry. there does seem to be some voiced concern for Zhongli not accompanying him, as it seems like they've been attached at the hip, especially with this past week (not to mention the rumours going around concerning the both of them), but Dohalim is quick to brush them off.

there's a swift escape through the gates and into the hamlet; Dohalim takes a moment to gather his bearings as much as he can considering his current mental state, and the fogginess in his head through the corruption's control. he glances behind him to see if Zhongli had realised just what had happened before he continues on. the eventual panic strung along their bond doesn't stop the Renan, as he makes his way through the highway, into the plains, and into the concealed path leading to Rukkhadevata.

rod in hand as he makes his way into her grove, Dohalim approaches with caution. as benevolent as she seems, she's still a goddess, and if he is to force answers out of her, he needs to be careful]

[that eventual panic spurs him forward, at least at first. He shows none of it to the guards he asks, ensuring them that their lord was no doubt being honest, but that it makes him feel more comfortable to go check on him. That no, he doesn't need anyone with him, Dohalim is probably just enjoying the scenery and Zhongli can take care of himself. No need to interrupt his peace, he probably won't even approach...

As cool night air brushes over his face, the deity considers the circumstances at hand. It isn't hard to guess where Dohalim went, even before searching for the traces of familiar energy. If he's gone to see Rukkhadevata, even without him... perhaps there's something going on, but there's also the chance she herself summoned him.

Either way, he's less worried about the deity; she may never have enjoyed battle, but something like Dohalim's corruption won't be able to overcome her, he thinks. So he takes his time, taking care of any zeugles or other creatures along the way. It might, he surmises, even be best to let him talk with her alone. That way he can't stumble on some statement that upsets the Renan.]

[it really does bear the question of how much time had passed since Dohalim had found Rukkhadevata again, and what had transpired between the both of them before Zhongli finds him. if the Renan were here for a simple conversation, he probably would not currently be restrained by vines, with an unimpressed goddess looking at him. clearly, there was an altercation (or an attempted one, at least), if Dohalim's rod abandoned on the ground is anything to go by]

Release me!

[Rukkhadevata crosses her arms over her chest loosely, shaking her head. "You enter my realm, disturb the peace here, and you demand that I release you... Umbra, you are more foolish than I had originally anticipated."]

I came to you seeking knowledge--

["You came here in an attempt to force it from me if I do not give into your demands. Now I make mine. Release Dohalim back to me and perhaps I will acquiesce."]

[the sight of what should be an altercation raises his anxiety for a moment, though he knows it shouldn't. not here, not with Rukkhadevata. but still, he steps forward toward the rod, pausing at the sound of Dohalim's voice. it's followed soon after by Rukkhadevata's, and some things fall into place.

the corruption, then; it's no wonder he said nothing when he woke. his first surprise is to hear her call it by name, something he hadn't realised that it... well, had. and it isn't a name like one of the Helganquil - but that's not really an important thought for now. instead, he turns to listening to their argument, moving slowly into view to the God herself. he trusts her, even with Dohalim, and hey - there's always a small chance he'll manage to pick up better ways to converse with the Renan, to help him more. he can interject when it feels right between them.]

You deny the core of your existence, then? You deny knowledge to those who seek it? You choose to leave Dohalim in ignorance like Zhongli--

["Rex Lapis is under contractual obligations. And while I am as well, to a certain degree, the avenues of which you've chosen to seek this knowledge, I do not agree with."]

The Dahnan Gods, powerless under something as insignificant as a contract from centuries past. If this is your answer then, I will make you regret ever crossing me. [there's a certain smugness in Dohalim's-- no, Umbra's voice] You forget who's body I inhabit and what powers I have access to. Your vines are ineffective against me.

["Is that so?"

Rukkhadevata notices Zhongli hidden from plain view, her eyes on him for just a moment before bringing them back to Umbra, who looks to be struggling to control the vines wrapped around it. they shift for a moment, but don't budge much after that. Umbra tries again, and again, but to no avail, a frustrated sound rumbling in the back of its throat]

What is--

["Dohalim has control of my vines. You, yourself, do not. Not when you've fully taken control of his consciousness. Tell me, how far back have you pulled him into his mind? Is he even present? Or have you taken over completely?"

Umbra says nothing this time, eyes narrowed as it glares at Rukkhadevata. she hums softly as she steps forward, raising a hand up to gently tilt its chin up between her thumb and forefinger.

"I ask you again. Release him back to me."]

[It's almost funny. If it were anything else, the accusation would sting deeply, sharply. But this... this conversation illuminates how curious the corruption - Umbra, he notes - really is. They're here now over a mutual curiosity, a first for knowledge he doubts either part understands.

There are things to be concerned about here, especially as the two continue and it becomes confirmed that Dohalim has - at least somewhat willingly, he suspects - ceded his own consciousness for now. Still, he finds himself immaculately curious. Exactly what is it they both want to know that he has held off on? If it were just Dohalim, he could guess, but he hasn't considered how much Umbra knows about his own origins.

Stepping forward as the other deity does, bending down to lift the Renan's staff. Quiet remains for a moment, and he remains just out of plain sight, at least as long as Rukkhadevata is before him. He'll announce himself soon enough.]

He is not yours for me to hand over.

["And he is not yours to covet. He is his own person, and despite whether or not he realises that you don't have full control of him, the fact remains. You've held him captive in his own mind far too many times."

Rukkhadevata sighs as she drops her hand, though she doesn't release Umbra just yet from her vines.

"While I understand that the darkness is rooted from fear of solitude, and you've attached yourself to him, you take that fear and twist it into something else. You push against boundaries that should not be pushed. I would suggest that you do not do that."

Umbra sneers, letting out a derisive laugh]

And why do you say that?

["Every human has their limit."]

[an ominous warning, that. It's one Zhongli is entirely too aware of, and entirely too aware of his inability to help. Outside of his reassurances, this... isn't his wheelhouse.

Still, he finally steps forward, out of the shadows.]

Even you must realise what would happen if you pushed him too far. Our own... disappointment aside.

[It can't afford that, clearly. This conversation has proven that without Dohalim, this body is nothing more than completely normal, somehow.

It's the first, too, that he's seen Umbra face to face, completely without interaction from Dohalim. Without the thrum of fear and anxiety... he supposes that his "rest" is better than nothing. And at the darkness itself, he stares without contempt, only a touch of what might be empathy. ]

[Umbra's attention shifts to Zhongli, amber eyes narrowing as it sees him. it pulls violently at his restraints then, trying to free itself; Rukkhadevata notices this shift in demeanor and wonders why the sight of the other deity has it all rankled]

You-- Let me go--

[it struggles against the vines for a moment or two more, before ceasing once it realises that his restraints won't budge. there's an inexplicable anger there as he glares at Zhongli, and before it can say anything more, Rukkhadevata speaks again.

"Why are you angry at him?"]

I don't have to answer that. Now let me go.

["You are right in that you don't have to answer, but I figured that since you've come to my domain with your own demands that I feel that I have a right to at least ask that of you and expect an answer in return. However, I will not release you, not until you've calmed down and return control back to Dohalim."

Rukkhadevata's voice is still calm, her gentle gaze still on it. Umbra's eyes are still locked onto Zhongli's face contorted into the anger it clearly feels]

Dont... Don't look at me like that! I don't need your empathy!

[It's a peculiar reaction. Perhaps its ire is drawn from the difficulty he's added to getting control? But then... hm.

As it struggles, he rests his weight on Dohalim's staff, just a little. In the end, he tilts his head just slightly. He can help not at all with the conversation at hand, but he does answer the interjection.]

... how would you like me to look at you, then?

Preferably not at all.

[the words are practically spat out at Zhongli, and it pulls on the vines again. it's rather surprising how strong the plants are considering how hard it's trying to break free.

Rukkhadevata tuts softly, a hand reaching over to brush her fingers against Umbra's cheek, tilting its head to look at her instead of Zhongli. there's a deeper issue here, one that she hadn't anticipated, and she wants to find out what it is. why is it acting in such a way with the other deity present? clearly, it has something to do with him, but...

"How would you like us to help you?" perhaps if she changed course, then they could get something, anything out of Umbra, even a small piece of information. Rukkhadevata is still ever nurturing, even in the face of a spirit possessing one of her children]

I don't want your help. I want answers.

["What kind of answers, then? What would you like me to say?"]

Tell Dohalim what you gods are hiding from him. He knows there is something there, something that Zhongli is hiding. That you are hiding.

[it fails to say that it, too, seems to be hiding the complete truth from Dohalim as well]

[Zhongli exhales only a soft hum, setting the staff aside and leaning against one of the nearby trees, less in sight. perhaps it will help lessen the agitation a little.

as the two speak again, he closes his eyes, considering the circumstances. a spirit from Rena... by itself, it's almost unreasonable. nothing of Rena, they had thought, can defy its own will, and yet here it is. that it's holding back on Dohalim doesn't go amiss, but for now he doesn't call it out. and when it comes to what he himself is hiding? well, the affairs of ancient gods are hardly something they owe it to mortals to explain.]

[it's true that nothing can defy the will of the Great Astral Spirit, and Rukkhadevata knows this, as well as Zhongli. but what can be said when Umbra is a part of the spirit itself? what she's curious about is if this fragment of the spirit is acting on its own accord, or if there's something else. that's what she wants to find out.

"I am going to assume that Dohalim is not present enough to listen to this conversation. Am I correct in this?"

Rukkhadevata gives Umbra a direct glance, as if telling it there will be dire consequences if she's lied to. all the spirit does is shake its head.

"Good. Now, I've already given you our reasoning as to why we haven't told Dohalim the full truth yet. It is something he has to discover for himself, when the time comes for him to do so. If we were to reveal all to him now... I fear what would become of his mental state. I would like him to become stable enough to at least make rational decisions when he considers his options."

she doesn't mention that Umbra's presence hinders that plan, not wanting to antagonise it. however, there is a sternness to her face, and her voice when she speaks next.

"Now that I've said my piece, you will give my child back to me. If not... I have ways of taking him back by force, and I would rather not deal with the repercussions." she looks at Zhongli briefly. "Is there anything you would like to add?"]

Only that one might consider the reasons they're not telling him everything, and how much of that information might overlap.

[he raises a hand in something of a shrug, acquiescing to its snapped request for the most part.]

As you already know, Rukkhadevata, I have suggested that he speak with you - both for your deeper knowledge and lack of contracts such that I am bound by.

[he had hoped to bring Dohalim back here himself, but... this is fine, ultimately.]

[nodding, the goddess turns her attention back onto Umbra. "I will also say this. The day you are willing to tell Dohalim the truth about Rena, that will be the day we also speak our truths. That will be the day that Dohalim learns of the history of both planets, their people and their deities. Keep that in mind."

both hands are holding Umbra's face up, glowing softly as if to coax it back in. "It is time for you to rest for now. Give Dohalim back to us."

the spirit's eyes don't leave Rukkhadevata's, its face softens ever so slightly, reluctantly. it isn't sure how she has such an effect on it, but there's something... soothing. like calming a raging storm. she has no fear, it knows this. she's willing to stick her head into darkness' maw without hesitation. perhaps it's respect that Umbra feels for her, and is the main reason why he slowly relinquishes control back to Dohalim. maybe it's something else it can't pinpoint at the moment.

it's subtle, at first, as its form sags against the vines; head leaning heavily in Rukkhadevata's hands, shoulders relax and sag. if it weren't for the restraints, Dohalim's body would have crumpled to the ground, it seems. but as the Renan's consciousness comes back to him , his head snaps back up as widened eyes look at Rukkhadevata, before trying to assess where he is]

Where-- How did I get here--

[there's just enough panic that thrums in him that he doesn't realise just yet that Zhongli is also present]

Breathe, Dohalim. You're safe.

[Zhongli sweeps in close as Dohalim's panic starts to rise, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder gently. it's more or less all he can do in this moment, though as soon as he's released from her restraints, he'll scoop the Renan up without a second thought.

there really is so much to think about. why did the spirit come here to demand what Dohalim wants, when Dohalim himself could ask? and knowing how much of it would coincide with its own truth, which it was keeping besides...]

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