eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

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[everyone is still silent as they watch both their lord and his... advisor? or is he something else completely? the kiss seemed to be well received on Dohalim's end, as it's enough to snap him out of whatever thoughts were in his head. some who are in the crowd had a sneaking suspicion that their relationship was deeper than what they'd displayed in the public eye but no one could have really guessed that this is how deep it really went.

for Dohalim, there's a nervousness there at the thought of everyone in his court knowing about them. what if they thought he was being frivolous when the wounds of what had happened only weeks ago was still fresh within the palace and city? it's an old thought and worry he has, but now that it's out in the open... but he doesn't address it directly. in fact, he doesn't really want to address anything at all, right now. all he really wants to do is hide from everyone, and the dawning realisation that he may not be fit to rule Menancia anymore. what lord who's plagued by horrific nightmares and corrupted... whatever Umbra is be fit to rule a realm with the ideals set in place? he doesn't want his people to have to live in fear that he'll go off the rails at any given moment again. it's not fair to them.

so, for now, he wants to hide. to run away from these thoughts, like he usually does. it's all he really knows how to do, honestly...]

Zhongli... I... Can we...

[his voice is still soft, but dripping with desperation to be taken out of the spotlight. the tremble that's usually accompanied with his anxiety is present as it wracks through him; the hand Zhongli's is holding grips it tightly, matching the desperation in his words]

[no one brooks an argument, it seems, and that's honestly all Zhongli can ask for. He'll have to apologise once they're alone; Dohalim's reputation has always been on his mind, and his worries of how people will judge him for his wants are no secret to the deity. Even knowing nothing is likely to come of this, save the spread of rumors, he doesn't think his embarrassment is surprising.]

Of course we can. [He doesn't need the clarity of the question. It's there in every inch of his muscles and tendons, tight and tense with fear. Zhongli's attention turns to the crowd then.] We will discuss things soon... for now, please go about your days as usual. If you need anything specific, I will personally see the tasks assigned and completed to the satisfaction of all parties.

[There's that tone of authority and certainty, guiding without really undermining Dohalim's own agency. It's plain to anyone that he should be resting, and that requisite work should be handled without stressing the man more than absolutely necessary.

He'll give them a moment to answer and respond in earnest kind to any questions about how this is going to go. There's no installment of himself as anything more than an accessory to the Renan's will.]

[there are so many questions that everyone has a burning need to ask, and while there are individual concerns, most of them have the same thoughts of if Dohalim is going to be alright. but seeing as their lord is in extreme duress, their own needs can be put on the backburner. there may be a bit of wariness of letting Zhongli handle this, but it seems as if he's got the situation mostly under control, especially now that Dohalim's calmed down, for the most part.

but there are questions of what work will be delegated and to who, but Zhongli may choose to put aside those requests for later. but the rest of the crowd slowly starts to disperse, and the guards who'd been disarmed earlier come back with their weapons hilted at their sides and an offer to stand by the door to Dohalim's room to deter anyone from coming in so he can get some much needed rest.

all the while, Dohalim himself stays quiet, gaze averted from everyone. an arm had managed to snake its way around Zhongli's waist, hand grasping weakly at his back as he grows more and more desperate to be away from the attention. he's feeling so overwhelmed at the moment, and wants to tell everyone to leave, but he can't muster the strength to say even that. hopefully the deity can shoo them away soon...]

[he's quick to delegate the necessary tasks, perhaps quicker than normal in order to get Dohalim a little freedom from the stress of everything. much of it is honestly simple, and whatever isn't immediately answerable he'll answer later. he does accept the offer the guards give, and mentions that they should come get him immediately if someone arrives at his behest. that is given no further explanation; Zhongli just says it like it's perfectly normal. it'll be enough for now.

the redhead's anxiety is plain in the way he holds onto his waist, hand grasping as it does, and so he pushes off anything more complex to turn and lead him into his room. there's a relieved, grateful glance to the guards, before he closes the door behind them and sees it locked, then just... moves to lift Dohalim into his arms. he'll deal with the princess carry, it's fine.]

... I'm sorry for the display. I... know it wasn't your intention to bring even the insinuation of our relationship to your people, but I was unsure how best to reach you otherwise.

[so said, he shifts to sit down with the Renan, pulling him in close to his chest. perhaps it's as deliberate as letting him hear his heartbeat, feel the warmth of him against his skin. maybe it's even for himself a little.]

...'s fine.

[is it really fine? Dohalim isn't so sure. there's so much fear of the unknown in regards to what his people really think of them, and their thoughts on him seeking out such companionship so soon after being betrayed by someone close to him. perhaps, on top of his unhinged displays, there's the fear that his people think that he can't make decisions that are best for the whole of Menancia.

as Zhongli moves to lift him into his arms, Dohalim's own come up to wrap around his shoulders as he buries his face into the crook of the deity's neck. this is all such a wild mess... and only further drives the point of him maybe relinquishing all duties and responsibilities of his lordship to those who can better lead the realm. how could his people trust him to continue when he's gone off like this on more than one occasion?

Dohalim lets out a deep sigh as he curls up into Zhongli's lap, trying to make himself as small as possible]

...Perhaps... I should step down as Menancia's lord.

[It's not fine, really. Even were the situation more stable, at least as far as Zhongli sees it that was a breach of trust; the Renan's want to keep their relationship quiet was neither surprising nor unreasonable. The last mishap had been both smaller and less devastating, involving fewer people to begin with... and there was that. Since their time in the dream, Zhongli had to wonder: was there some truth to anything Umbra had said? Surely, he has his own motivations, his own reasons for acting as he does, but... had he simply been dismissing Dohalim's true wishes in favor of believing in his strength?

Perhaps now, with the man curled up small and vulnerable, it was almost providence giving him a chance to acknowledge those worries. As he speaks, Zhongli shifts his hold to let his hands wander, soothing over the other's back and up through his hair.]

... is that what you would prefer?

[There's no judgment to it. The deity asks it quietly and without emphasis, and if Dohalim looks up to see his face he'll be met with quiet, warm concern. Even if he doesn't think the man wants this path, the least he can do is hear him out, and gently guide him through anything that's eating at him. Would it bother Zhongli if he did give up? Not at all, he thinks... though the reality that he would probably return to Lenegis is certainly not pleasant, after all his own admissions.]

It's not a preference, per se... But I cannot, in good faith, allow myself to continue to make decisions for the realm with the way that I am.

[Dohalim doesn't look up at Zhongli as he tries to hide his face even more, ashamed by his admission. sure, he's already shown his weaknesses to the deity in more ways than one, but it still doesn't ease the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. but this time... this decision... it'd been eating at him for a while now, and earlier events have only driven the point home. he's not in his right mind, this he knows, and he'd be surprised if there was a single person in the palace (at least) who wouldn't think that. why should they trust him to make choices on their behalf? how could they trust him to better their quality of life? how could they trust him not to lose himself completely and turn into an insane tyrant, and reverse everything everyone had worked for in this realm?]

I am not fit for this position. I never was.

[a hand comes up to cradle Dohalim's cheek, keeping him from burying his face completely but not forcing him to look up, either. he is... such a good man, truly. caring and warm and wise, wider than he thinks. it makes sense that he's struggling with this, that it's been what's eating at him for so long.]

Then... perhaps we should work through what your options are. [gentle and calm, he leans down to press his lips to the crown of the man's head.] If you were to step down as Lord, what would the next steps be? You would need a suitable replacement, certainly, someone you believe you could trust to see this through. A Renan, to be sure that all of the gears turn smoothly.

[Dohalim had almost expected Zhongli to say something different, say something to try to convince him to hold onto his position. but to hear the deity say different, to actually agree with him on this... there's a near sense of relief amidst the anxiety. almost like a lifeline when he's drowning in an ocean]

I've... Thought about this for a while. The last thing I would want is for Lenegis to get involved and replace me themselves. I have my council that I can delegate my responsibilities to. The title, however, I would hold for the time being. Unless the situation truly calls for it and I need to make a decision, I will only be Menancia's lord by title, so as to not raise suspicion from the empire or the other lords.

[it's a clumsy approach, and there is still a way for it to backfire, but it's the only way he feels he can do this. he'll be able to step away from the work that stresses him out the most, and he won't be directly leading the people. but no one outside of the realm would be able to sense any shifts in leadership]

Naturally so. [he doesn't need to add the fact that he's glad not to worry about Dohalim being forced to return to Lenegis, to leave him...] In the coming days, we can have a meeting with your closest council and begin those delegations; they are a valuable resource for us as well, being able to see more of the citizenship than you could while attending your duties.

[Zhongli exhales a hum as he speaks, nodding. it isn't ideal, precisely, but it's a start.]

We needn't get stuck on the details, since it's more ideal to handle this slowly and with care. That will help to pivot resources and plans in the event that something goes wrong. Keeping the reality as quiet as possible will also increase our chances of success.

I will need to write a proposal, then...

[but that can wait for a little bit. Dohalim's sure that, with what had just happened, everyone will be focused on their own thing for the time being, which he's grateful for, as it'll give him some time. he lets out a soft sigh, and a nod, relaxing ever so slightly in Zhongli's arms now that that particular worry is off his shoulders, and met with acceptance.

but just before he speaks again, there's a soft knock on the door. there's a familiar sense of astral energy in the air, and Dohalim doesn't even have to look up to realise that it's Rukkhadevata. now that's a surprise...]

Later, yes.

[they're in agreement there, and for the time being, Zhongli is more than happy to just hold his lover as he finally gets a chance to relax. at least... for a moment.

his gaze flits to the door at the knock, a small smile drawing across his face. she really did rush, and he does hope it didn't take too much out of her...]

Allow her in.

[his voice certainly carries enough for them to hear it outside, just over Dohalim enough that it's not overloud to the redhead.]

[had Zhongli anticipated her arrival? as far as Dohalim knows, there weren't any mentions of her joining them in the palace anytime soon, so when she's let in, that's when he finally lifts his head up again.

Rukkhadevata herself doesn't look like even a hair is out of place as she strides in, a wooden box in hand. she nods politely to the guard as he reaches to close the door, then she turns her attention to the other two. there's a soft sigh she lets out, before moving to join them, kneeling down onto the floor to assess them. she places the box down by her, and if Zhongli were to look at it, it'd bear the same emblem as the one in her grove, just smaller.

"It seems we've gotten ourselves in quite the predicament."

she does manage to hide her own exhaustion from frantically making her way into Zhongli's subconscious and giving him enough energy to wake up, to frantically gathering whatever herbs she can to aid them in any way medicinally, to actually venturing out. she hasn't left her grove since nearly the beginning of the invasion, and to be away from the abundance of astral energy provided by the tree, it's put her slightly off kilter. but she's sure she'll be fine.

"What happened? Did the tea not work?"]

So it seems that we have.

[Zhongli regards her and her box briefly, offering an apologetic smile for the trouble. It's not nearly enough, but it's something.]

Ah... no. The tea worked... quite well. [There's just the faintest tinge of pink on his cheeks as he speaks them, clearing his throat lightly.] This was unrelated to the night; I had convinced Dohalim to rest a while when he was struggling to get through paperwork. Naturally, I assumed more was not needed, as it was intended to be a short rest.

[He walks through the explanation without much hesitation, from beginning their work to waking to find Dohalim stuck in his nightmare, and the aching choice to push his way into that dream to try and soothe it...]

Your message came when I was collecting the necessary energy to return to my physical body.

[this probably implies some things to the Renan himself, but it would have been talked about eventually anyway.]

[as she listens to Zhongli explain the situation, she tinkers around in her box, nodding along at certain points. ah, she should have anticipated the naps during the day, especially with how exhausted Dohalim must be (despite himself or Zhongli not really knowing how deep it goes). she'd hoped that the nighttime tea she'd provided would be enough, but perhaps she'd miscalculated.

also, at the sight of the slightly pinked cheeks from the other deity, it seems that something else had been confirmed. she doesn't say anything, not wanting to embarrass the both of them. however, she will mention one thing.

"I feel as if I should remind you that plants do have ears. All you've had to do was call out for me and I would have had someone aid you."

a gentle admonishment, of course, and a subtle hint as to let Zhongli know she knows just how the night had gone. she places a hand on Dohalim's knee, giving it a light squeeze.

"With that being said, I've heard you plan on stepping down as lord?"

ah-- she really can hear through the plants, it seems. Dohalim himself isn't entirely too surprised, with his own abilities to be able to "listen" to some old artifacts he'd come across in his time on Dahna. he has to wonder if that ability came from the gods themselves...]

I... Yes. It may be for the best of the realm as a whole.

... a fact I shall be sure to try to remember in future.

[by the expression on his face and the deepening of that tinge, both hidden from Dohalim by his position, he does not miss that implication. Ah...]

at the very least, it seems a reasonable way to alight some of the weight placed upon his shoulders. [He agrees quietly, hand gently wrapped around Dohalim's waist.] It is a position he has been clear he never sought, after all. I suspect it will help to quell some of the nightmares, though it isn't a perfect solution, I'm sure.

["I have no opposition, if you feel that is the best course. I trust you have a plan, especially if you are to keep the peace in the land."

the last thing that Rukkhadevata would like to see is Menancia's resources ravished by another tyrant lord again. the land is the first time she's seen in thrive in nearly three hundred years, and even her own astral energy had been the most abundant since the invasion. she's not one hundred percent, and she's sure she never will be again, but this is as close as she can get. while she is tired from leaving her grove, the fact that she was able to in the first place speaks volumes.

"I do have to wonder though... and perhaps Rex Lapis would be able to share his own opinion on the idea, would it alleviate some stress if we were to let the people know about us, as well? There are already rumours spreading in the palace of his... otherworldliness."]

[he can't be surprised by the rumours, after such a short period of so many incidents, but it's still a little troubling. how would they react, knowing the truth? what truth should they even share?

exhaling a soft hum, he closes his eyes before speaking.]

I... believe we are approaching the inevitability of explaining our presence, yes. Perhaps not in full, just now, but it would be better to engage the people of Menancia and see how they react to the idea of a creature like myself in our midst. I don't think they'll mistake my intentions, but that is also a possibility we must be ready for.

["I would reveal just enough for the people to know who and what we are, and what our intentions are. It would not be a lie to tell them that we are here to aid Dohalim. But if they see that their lord is taken to the both of us, it would quell some uneasiness when it comes to us as individuals, I think."]

But to gather everyone and make such an announcement would require time and effort that, I will admit, do not have at the moment. So how do you intend to proceed with that plan?

[Rukkhadevata smiles softly, if not a little cheekily. "I am to dreams as Rex Lapis is to contracts. Like him, I have the ability to dreamwalk, but I can do it better." she gives Zhongli a wink, fully teasing him.

"In all seriousness, I am the goddess of dreams. It is why I am able to offer you a dreamless sleep. But I feel as if I've failed in that regard... I should have taken into consideration that you would nap in the middle of the day."

she moves to set what she was working on onto the the table; vials with crushed herbs and tea leaves. "These are portioned for those moments where you need a couple of hours of rest. Just mix it into some warm water."]

Haaah. One would not be unwise to say that dreamwalking is far from my normal repertoire, indeed. A... bull in an antique shop, one might say.

[it's just a reality to him, even insomuch as Rukkhadevata is teasing him. this is why he made so many contracts, isn't it? to cover his weaknesses in a way that he could never do otherwise. his gaze flits to the vials, then to Dohalim, a soft smile playing on his lips.]

In fairness, I should have asked if there wasn't something about the daytime. It is an oversight that's remedied, and with no further harm done. As for the efforts - if there are any oversights to her efforts, I can step in to inform the remaining necessary individuals.

["Yes... I suppose we should anticipate the odd person not believing in us as gods. Or the Dahnans getting angry at us for forsaking them during the Renan invasion."

that... is more of a probability than she would like to admit. humans are so quick to judge, and without all of the information, they can draw the wrong conclusions and convince themselves that they're right. this, she'll have to navigate carefully to mitigate discourse among those who would feel like they were betrayed. she wouldn't blame them in the slightest, though, not when Menancia is sill recovering from Kelzalik's attempted coup.

"Though, I do have faith that dreamwalking to inform the people of who we are and what our intentions are would... soften the blow, so to speak."

she gently places a hand on Dohalim's leg again, wanting to offer a bit of comfort.

"With that out of the way... I suppose we should discuss Umbra. I..."

Rukkhadevata hums softly, wondering if this is the best course of action, for the time being. she's still looking for other solutions to cleanse the spirit, but she's slowly starting to run out of options and time.

"I may be able to alleviate some influence it may have on you."

Dohalim's eyes widen ever so slightly as he sits up a bit in Zhongli's lap]

...You can do that?

I expect it is an allegation we'll have to answer to at least once.

[which will be a whole slew of issues, but nothing they can't handle. particularly, it's nothing she can't handle, because while Zhongli can go on about things, he's aware that he's not... the easiest person to listen to.

on the subject of Umbra, Zhongli pauses, glancing to the other deity quietly. he's not sure which method she intends to employ; surely nothing drastic, when they'll both be needed for most of this effort, but how much can she really alleviate in the interim?]

... I admit, I still find myself curious on this matter as well.

"Umbra has taken hold of Dohalim's subconscious, yes? It's a matter of soothing some of the rage. I've felt it last night... If I cannot soothe it that way, I may be able to create some sort of barrier. It's a bandage approach, but it may help."

it also does help that Umbra isn't as hateful towards Rukkhadevata than it towards Zhongli. that, she still has no clue as to why. perhaps it sees him as a threat of some sort. but by that logic, would she be seen as just as much of a threat? or is there something deeper at play that even she can't see?

Dohalim, on the other hand, looks a little hopeful for this. the fact that the goddess can silence it for just a little bit is more progress than he ever could have hoped for. what he truly wants is for Umbra to get out of his head completely, but if she's still looking for a way to do that, but still give him this, then... he can't complain too much, can he? if it'll prevent him from hurting others and Zhongli, then who is he to argue?]

When can you do it? Can you do it now?

[Rukkhadevata shakes her head slightly. "I will have to do it when you are asleep, and once I've regained some of my energy back. Between waking Rex Lapis up and making the journey here, I've spent a bit of my own energy doing so. I will be able to later tonight, if you would let me rest here for a time."

Dohalim sort of slumps back against Zhongli's chest; he won't lie and tell himself he's not disappointed, but he can't exactly demand that the goddess help him now. if she needs to recover, then he will let her, obviously; the last thing he wants is for her to injure herself]

...Alright. If you need to rest for longer, then I can wait.

[Zhongli listens to this as well, offering a wry smile as Dohalim gets his answer. It's an unsatisfying one in some ways, but...]

Worry not. [He leans down to press his lips to the crown of the Renan's head, one hand cradling his cheek gently.] We have something for the interim, and it will only be until tonight.

Ah— to that end, shall we have a guest room made up for you, Rukkhadevata?

["I would not mind a room, if there is one to spare. I am not sure how long I will stay, but I would like to stay for a time, in case there are any side effects of the tea, or if my abilities are not enough to quell Umbra."

Rukkhadevata offers a small, but sheepish smile before she continues.

"Also... I have not seen the city for a while. I would like to see it again. And I've heard the library is rather extensive... Perhaps I will be able to find a clue as to how to cleanse Umbra."

honestly, she's been so lonely for years, aside from her aides who've kept a watchful gaze on the realm. she does feel remorseful that they've had to witness history as it unfolded in front of them, but it was the only way she could keep an eye on Menancia while staying in her grove.

Dohalim watches the goddess for a moment, pondering on something. if it's a matter of a lack of elemental energy, then he wonders... and perhaps this could help Zhongli too in the future, if he needs it as well... he glances up at him]

Zhongli, do you still have my master core?

In my blood...

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Tfw you're so sure you hit post but APPARENTLY FUCKING NOT

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