eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He is not yours for me to hand over.

["And he is not yours to covet. He is his own person, and despite whether or not he realises that you don't have full control of him, the fact remains. You've held him captive in his own mind far too many times."

Rukkhadevata sighs as she drops her hand, though she doesn't release Umbra just yet from her vines.

"While I understand that the darkness is rooted from fear of solitude, and you've attached yourself to him, you take that fear and twist it into something else. You push against boundaries that should not be pushed. I would suggest that you do not do that."

Umbra sneers, letting out a derisive laugh]

And why do you say that?

["Every human has their limit."]

[an ominous warning, that. It's one Zhongli is entirely too aware of, and entirely too aware of his inability to help. Outside of his reassurances, this... isn't his wheelhouse.

Still, he finally steps forward, out of the shadows.]

Even you must realise what would happen if you pushed him too far. Our own... disappointment aside.

[It can't afford that, clearly. This conversation has proven that without Dohalim, this body is nothing more than completely normal, somehow.

It's the first, too, that he's seen Umbra face to face, completely without interaction from Dohalim. Without the thrum of fear and anxiety... he supposes that his "rest" is better than nothing. And at the darkness itself, he stares without contempt, only a touch of what might be empathy. ]

[Umbra's attention shifts to Zhongli, amber eyes narrowing as it sees him. it pulls violently at his restraints then, trying to free itself; Rukkhadevata notices this shift in demeanor and wonders why the sight of the other deity has it all rankled]

You-- Let me go--

[it struggles against the vines for a moment or two more, before ceasing once it realises that his restraints won't budge. there's an inexplicable anger there as he glares at Zhongli, and before it can say anything more, Rukkhadevata speaks again.

"Why are you angry at him?"]

I don't have to answer that. Now let me go.

["You are right in that you don't have to answer, but I figured that since you've come to my domain with your own demands that I feel that I have a right to at least ask that of you and expect an answer in return. However, I will not release you, not until you've calmed down and return control back to Dohalim."

Rukkhadevata's voice is still calm, her gentle gaze still on it. Umbra's eyes are still locked onto Zhongli's face contorted into the anger it clearly feels]

Dont... Don't look at me like that! I don't need your empathy!

[It's a peculiar reaction. Perhaps its ire is drawn from the difficulty he's added to getting control? But then... hm.

As it struggles, he rests his weight on Dohalim's staff, just a little. In the end, he tilts his head just slightly. He can help not at all with the conversation at hand, but he does answer the interjection.]

... how would you like me to look at you, then?

Preferably not at all.

[the words are practically spat out at Zhongli, and it pulls on the vines again. it's rather surprising how strong the plants are considering how hard it's trying to break free.

Rukkhadevata tuts softly, a hand reaching over to brush her fingers against Umbra's cheek, tilting its head to look at her instead of Zhongli. there's a deeper issue here, one that she hadn't anticipated, and she wants to find out what it is. why is it acting in such a way with the other deity present? clearly, it has something to do with him, but...

"How would you like us to help you?" perhaps if she changed course, then they could get something, anything out of Umbra, even a small piece of information. Rukkhadevata is still ever nurturing, even in the face of a spirit possessing one of her children]

I don't want your help. I want answers.

["What kind of answers, then? What would you like me to say?"]

Tell Dohalim what you gods are hiding from him. He knows there is something there, something that Zhongli is hiding. That you are hiding.

[it fails to say that it, too, seems to be hiding the complete truth from Dohalim as well]

[Zhongli exhales only a soft hum, setting the staff aside and leaning against one of the nearby trees, less in sight. perhaps it will help lessen the agitation a little.

as the two speak again, he closes his eyes, considering the circumstances. a spirit from Rena... by itself, it's almost unreasonable. nothing of Rena, they had thought, can defy its own will, and yet here it is. that it's holding back on Dohalim doesn't go amiss, but for now he doesn't call it out. and when it comes to what he himself is hiding? well, the affairs of ancient gods are hardly something they owe it to mortals to explain.]

[it's true that nothing can defy the will of the Great Astral Spirit, and Rukkhadevata knows this, as well as Zhongli. but what can be said when Umbra is a part of the spirit itself? what she's curious about is if this fragment of the spirit is acting on its own accord, or if there's something else. that's what she wants to find out.

"I am going to assume that Dohalim is not present enough to listen to this conversation. Am I correct in this?"

Rukkhadevata gives Umbra a direct glance, as if telling it there will be dire consequences if she's lied to. all the spirit does is shake its head.

"Good. Now, I've already given you our reasoning as to why we haven't told Dohalim the full truth yet. It is something he has to discover for himself, when the time comes for him to do so. If we were to reveal all to him now... I fear what would become of his mental state. I would like him to become stable enough to at least make rational decisions when he considers his options."

she doesn't mention that Umbra's presence hinders that plan, not wanting to antagonise it. however, there is a sternness to her face, and her voice when she speaks next.

"Now that I've said my piece, you will give my child back to me. If not... I have ways of taking him back by force, and I would rather not deal with the repercussions." she looks at Zhongli briefly. "Is there anything you would like to add?"]

Only that one might consider the reasons they're not telling him everything, and how much of that information might overlap.

[he raises a hand in something of a shrug, acquiescing to its snapped request for the most part.]

As you already know, Rukkhadevata, I have suggested that he speak with you - both for your deeper knowledge and lack of contracts such that I am bound by.

[he had hoped to bring Dohalim back here himself, but... this is fine, ultimately.]

[nodding, the goddess turns her attention back onto Umbra. "I will also say this. The day you are willing to tell Dohalim the truth about Rena, that will be the day we also speak our truths. That will be the day that Dohalim learns of the history of both planets, their people and their deities. Keep that in mind."

both hands are holding Umbra's face up, glowing softly as if to coax it back in. "It is time for you to rest for now. Give Dohalim back to us."

the spirit's eyes don't leave Rukkhadevata's, its face softens ever so slightly, reluctantly. it isn't sure how she has such an effect on it, but there's something... soothing. like calming a raging storm. she has no fear, it knows this. she's willing to stick her head into darkness' maw without hesitation. perhaps it's respect that Umbra feels for her, and is the main reason why he slowly relinquishes control back to Dohalim. maybe it's something else it can't pinpoint at the moment.

it's subtle, at first, as its form sags against the vines; head leaning heavily in Rukkhadevata's hands, shoulders relax and sag. if it weren't for the restraints, Dohalim's body would have crumpled to the ground, it seems. but as the Renan's consciousness comes back to him , his head snaps back up as widened eyes look at Rukkhadevata, before trying to assess where he is]

Where-- How did I get here--

[there's just enough panic that thrums in him that he doesn't realise just yet that Zhongli is also present]

Breathe, Dohalim. You're safe.

[Zhongli sweeps in close as Dohalim's panic starts to rise, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder gently. it's more or less all he can do in this moment, though as soon as he's released from her restraints, he'll scoop the Renan up without a second thought.

there really is so much to think about. why did the spirit come here to demand what Dohalim wants, when Dohalim himself could ask? and knowing how much of it would coincide with its own truth, which it was keeping besides...]

[as soon as Rukkhadevata can confirm for herself that Dohalim is there with them without any lingering presence of the corruption, she releases him from the vines, her hand coming up to brush against his hair gently. Dohalim himself presses against Zhongli as his arms come up to cling onto him, trembling slightly at what had transpired.

"Dohalim..." Rukkhadevata starts, her voice soft as ever. "Can you recall anything? From your departure from the palace and your arrival here, or anything we've spoken about?"

that's the concerning thing, in Dohalim's view. he shakes his head, still panicked about the whole situation. it's as if he blacked out from the moment he'd fallen asleep, until just now. this has never happened with the corruption picking away at him; even at its deepest, Dohalim had always been even the slightest bit conscious. enough to remember what happened. this... this is different.

he shakes his head no, peeking at the goddess]

I don't... I don't remember a thing...

[had the corruption done something? is someone hurt? what happened..."]

[fingers stroke through Dohalim's hair in soft, soothing measure, keeping him close. taking his time to settle himself down, to get Dohalim a little more comfortable.]

It's alright. Do you remember anything from after we settled down for bed? I suspect it may have been sometime during that. If not, you needn't worry. You only came here.

I... Only remember falling asleep. I don't remember waking up, nor do I remember walking here.

[as soothing as both Zhongli's and Rukkhadevata's touches are, Dohalim's anxiety and panic are still spiked, making his heart pound in his chest and run trembles along his body. for the corruption to take over so completely, and blur out memories and experiences... he doesn't like it. he doesn't like losing control of himself like that. it's what he's feared the most, that he will lose himself to whatever this is.

what's even more worrying (if that's even possible) is the fact that he'd "woken up" restrained. what did the corruption do?]

...Why was I restrained?

[Rukkhadevata, for once, is silent as she considers what she should tell him. but it's a pause long enough that Dohalim knows something is wrong, and that the corruption had done something.

she looks at Zhongli, to see if he can say anything to calm him. if not, she'll... think of something that isn't far from the truth. the last thing she wants to do is lie, after all]

[he nods at the words; it's not surprised. most likely, Umbra took advantage of his tired state, dragging him deeper into his own doubts... the question earns a glance at Rukkhadevata; he doesn't know exactly what happened, having arrived moments later, but...

absently, he allows himself to shift somewhat, at least to wrap his tail around Dohalim's waist. security, if nothing else, for both of them.]

... I imagine she was not pleased with how aggressive the corruption tends to be. [his response is... mild enough, as if it couldn't possibly be a big deal.] I was a few steps behind, admittedly.

[she was, for the most part, waiting to hear what Zhongli would say, and to base off how much she would have to reveal to the Renan at that moment. though, with the conversation she did have with Umbra, perhaps hiding the truth from Dohalim might not be the best idea, either. she just has to find the balance of telling him just enough without revealing too much.

she does worry about how he'll be able to handle it all once the whole truth is out there. to discover that his very being is a lie...

"It was particularly aggressive tonight. But no matter, it did not injure me."

Rukkhadevata won't tell him not to worry; knowing what she does of the man, it would only land on deaf ears. she ponders on a few things, before stepping back, gesturing for Dohalim and Zhongli to the spot under the large tree; the same spot that they've rested upon before.

"Come sit with me. There are things I must discuss with you, Dohalim." she peers at the other deity. "And there are things I should also tell you that you may not be aware of, Rex Lapis."]

... that I need to know...?

[it's mildly concerning, but he's quick to usher Dohalim to their next resting place, not really thinking twice before gently leading him to his lap. the motion isn't overtly possessive, but he does want to reassure the Renan somehow, to at least remind him that he's here.

the arrival isn't what he had expected, but they're here now, and the other is much more healthy now. the least they can do is give him some answers.]

["Need to know, if you are not already aware."

Rukkhadevata waits for them to get settled in, smiling softly at Dohalim's lack of pause as he nestles into Zhongli's lap, making himself comfortable as he gently pulls the deity's tail around his waist. it seems after the last time they've spoken with each other, their relationship had blossomed into something more intimate, and that the deity had taken what she said to him at heart.

it's now something she must help to preserve, to keep from falling at the feet of corruption, if she can help it.

"While I may not be able to give you all answers, Dohalim, there are a few I can share with you now. Am I wrong to assume that we are the only gods you've ever encountered, on both Dahna and Rena?"]

Yes... Though, I will admit, I've never actually stepped foot on Rena itself. I'd only lived my life on Lenegis before descending down to Dahna. Do you mean to tell me there are gods on Rena as well?

["In... A sense. Though, from my understanding, they are more spirits than gods."

she glances at Zhongli, almost to ask if she should continue with this path of knowledge. there are things she can omit, sure, but this does have something to do with Umbra...]

Of course.

[He doesn't let it bother him, yet. There's a chance he does already know the information - though he would think rukkhadevata would have some idea of whether or not.

In any case, he's quick to slide his arms around the Renan's waist, hands resting gently around his belly, just above his own tail.]

"Gods" is a particularly... broad term when referring to both planets, yes. Rena, as a planet, never mirrored Dahna in its growth; to my knowledge there are no creatures like us born of Rena's soil.

[After all, Rena herself is a much more demanding energy than Dahna... but this information is far from any of his contracts; it's liable, in fact, that his knowledge of them is incomplete.]

So there are also higher powers in Rena as well. As much as this information is interesting, I fail to see how it's useful, no offence.

[Rukkhadevata shakes her head politely. "None taken. I simply wanted to preface what we're about to discuss with that, in order to hopefully get a better understanding of what this corruption is."

Dohalim falls silent, but sits up a little more at that. if this has anything to do with the corruption, then...

"Rena itself is governed by a single entity: the Great Astral Spirit. As you know, no Renan can use light astral energy. This spirit is the reason why. It is made up of dark astral energy."

the goddess pauses for a moment, to make sure she hasn't lost Dohalim. she doubts it, but she doesn't want to lay everything on him without properly absorbing it.

"Now, like I said, they have no elemental gods. Instead, their deities are fragments of the Great Spirit herself that usually lies dormant within the Renan people. They do not have corporeal bodies like we do, so they rely on the people to keep themselves... Alive, I suppose I could say. To keep her energy alive."]

... Often times, when we must excise corruption from Dahna's surface, what we are truly searching for is the source of Rena's will, within that area. Usually, as said, this is people; there have been rare occurrences where entire lands were isolated for this task.

[and while those thorns have all been removed, he knows full well that the wounds remain, a bitter space still rife with darkness. sealed, but if Rena had enough astral energy...]

Still, that's only to note that I have some experience in what to expect - obviously, what one can do for a large tract of land can not be done for a living body. Your implication is that his corruption is the direct result of this, yes?

["Yes... It is a rare phenomenon, like Rex Lapis has mentioned, but every several decades or so..."

Rukkhadevata sighs softly, lamenting on the fact that this unfortunate situation had fallen on such a gentle soul. of course the Great Spirit's energy would latch onto someone who is descended from powerful mages; Dohalim is a well of astral energy, after all. even she can feel the ambient energy radiating off him, separate from his master core.

"Every several decades, the corruption would not appear as a score on Dahna's land, but a taint in the very soul of a person. In some cases, the presence is subtle enough that we would only need to observe. In others, such is the case of a tainted lord using the corrupted energy for their own end, for example, more... drastic measures have been taken.

"However, you, Dohalim, are a special case. It's even rarer for us to be able to converse with the corruption. It's almost as if you are serving as a vessel for the tainted spirit. Though, for what end, I cannot say."

it's almost as if Dohalim's blood runs cold at the idea of being used by a spirit for whatever it is it wants to do. to have this thing inside of him, living inside of him, and for what?

a shiver runs up his spine, his hand taking hold of one of Zhongli's, squeezing tightly, as if seeking for a lifeline]

H...How do we get rid of it, then?

["It's... complicated. The dark astral energy is not the enemy here, but the corruption within it. It's not a matter of removing the astral energy from you, but just a portion of it. All the while, making sure not to bring harm to you."

the goddess looks away for a moment, as if trying to hide some sort of truth in her eyes from both men. there is a way to cleanse Umbra, but she's not sure if she's ready to reveal that yet. she herself isn't ready to come to terms with it]

[he squeezes Dohalim's hand just the same, perhaps not as tightly. he's here, they're both fine.]

... For now, we will do our best to help lift you up; much of its personal strength comes from picking at your insecurities and uncertainties. My... inability to share much of this personally probably contributed significantly to tonight's oddities.

[there's a touch of guilt there, as his tail curls a little tighter around the Renan's hips. he doesn't quite miss Rukkhadevata's expression, but the truth behind it... well, he can understand her not being willing to say everything even to him, yet. this is a complex issue.]

I believe, if I'm not misreading it, that the astral energy has an interest in you. It doesn't seem to intend to break you, or force you into its whims - tonight aside, that is. Even that seemed somewhat like frustration at your situation, more than some strange ambition.

[the fact that Umbra is kind of a dick is its own issue, alongside the fact that it doesn't seem to realise how fragile the Renan actually is.]

So you mean to tell me that I have to coexist with this, then...

[a bit ironic, if Dohalim thinks about it. to be an advocate for coexistence between two races, only have to live alongside something he doesn't want inside of him... but that's a different situation, right? this thing has hurt many people including Zhongli through him. it brought him here, and must have tried something for him to be woken up restrained.

frustration mounts as a light tremble is felt in his hands; Dohalim looks down at the tail wrapped around him]

How can you say that it has no intention of it breaking me when every day, I can feel it trying to whittle me down? How can the both of you sit here and tell me that I have to live with this corruption?

["It is not an ideal situation, Dohalim. I recognise this. However, and this may be selfish of me to do so, but I ask to please be patient with me while I search for a way to cleanse Umbra of this corruption."]

Umbra? It has a name?

["Yes, as one of the governing fragments of Rena... Umbra, or Shadow is its name, reflecting a part of the Great Astral Spirit's elemental energy."]

Only insomuch as you already were, baobei.

[Zhongli exhales a soft sigh at the question. His eyes close as his tail flicks lightly.]

Because it is used to doing everything as Rena does - slowly wearing others down to get what it wants. It understands nothing of human limits, let alone emotions.

[It's stupid, he does not bluntly say. Still, the earlier conversation with Umbra illuminated its deficiencies.]

You trusted me with our contract, in the measure of working through this; if you can, please extend that to both of us... I'm sorry it's become such a troublesome path.

[this is nothing he wants for Dohalim, after all.]

[he shouldn't say it. not in front of both deities, even though he wants to scream it out, to get it off his chest. to tell the both of them that he doesn't want to live this way, that he doesn't want to be used by this corruption. it's too much, it's all too much at this point.

bringing both of his hands up, he presses his palms against his face as he tilts his head down. it's all so overwhelming. and the expectation of having to just... accept this and live with it, when there's a chance that he can hurt more people, despite the contract...]

I... Can't do this. I can't do this...

[he dissolves into a small mantra, repeating the words to himself softly. Rukkhadevata's heart feels like it's breaking as she watches Dohalim break down like this, and she wonders if she should go ahead with cleansing him of the corruption in the only way she knows how to. but... without even discussing it with Zhongli, she can't go ahead with it, especially not when she wants to find a different way to do so. she... wants to watch Dohalim thrive, to see what a descendant of her mages is truly capable of.

but to see one of her children like this... the temptation is there. to just do it, and fix everything for him. it hurts, not being able to just explain this pain away for him with her knowledge. for once, she doesn't know what to do, or what to say]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject