eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

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["I think you offer more than you realise. The way he goes to you without hesitation, the small touches here and there that he seeks... If you didn't offer any sort of comfort, I doubt he would reach for you."

she smiles softly as she looks down at Zhongli's tail wrapped around Dohalim's waist, and the way his hand rests gently on top of it. there's an almost envy there, at the fact that Dohalim gets to touch said tail; she does have to wonder from time to time how it feels. oh well, it seems that will be something she never know. there are several things she can say and do to the older god that other gods couldn't ever get away with, but there are limits. touching his tail is definitely one of them.

Rukkhadevata's smile fades slightly, as she lets out a small sigh of her own. her heart is still heavy, upset at herself for not being able to do more. the fact that she can offer a boon, but the price to pay to give it to Dohalim... is she willing to do it? she wants to offer relief, but...

"I do know of a way to cleanse Umbra of corruption." her words are spoken softly, eyes avoiding Zhongli's amber gaze]

You are correct, of course. It's only that mortals have such complex minds and morals, really. He's already gone through so much...

[It occurs to him from time to time that... there a world where all of this effort still ends poorly. Even after cleansing the corruption, after lifting him up...

His gaze shifts to her though, when she speaks again. The avoidant gaze, the hesitation...]

... but it is either costly or difficult. Perhaps both. [He places a hand on her arm.] else you would have mentioned it before now... right?

[and it might even be something Dohalim would refuse, since she's waited till he slept.]

[Rukkhadevata reaches up to gently press her hand against Zhongli's, slim fingers gently squeezing his for a moment before she drops it. there's no turning back now, she supposes.

"You are correct. If I could have cleansed it now, I would have, but..."

she isn't sure how difficult it actually would be, only that it definitely wouldn't be an easy task. there are layers to this, with how deep the corruption lies within Dohalim and Umbra, and she has to tread carefully. and not to mention just how much of her own energy she'll expend...

"I will admit that I had not planned to tell even you unless I had no other options, but I suppose that I should forewarn you, for if the time comes where I have not found another way to eradicate the corruption."

she takes a deep breath to steady herself. "You are correct in that the cost would be great. Insomuch that there is a possibility that I may expend all of my energy to do so. However, this is a last resort, of course, and I will continue my search in ways to cleanse it."]

... We are, after all, nothing if not for our abundant and resilient energy.

[his voice is quiet, conflicted. of course, he should have known there was a way to use their own energy; had it been another time, perhaps even he could have expended some of his to the same effect.

even knowing that Rukkhadevata isn't the type to rush into things, if it came down to it, just knowing that she would...]

It is good to know that the option is there, but as you said - it's a last resort. I shall endeavour to put it aside until such a time as it becomes necessary. I suspect Dohalim would feel the same way.

Would that Umbra were more liable to offer to assist in the search, I'm sure it could provide something.

[there's a soft chuckle at that, as he settles back again, his position as open in offering connection as he is with Dohalim. it's unusual for him, but... perhaps he's tired. of being strong, of being the sentinel, always chronicling the history.]

["Umbra, unfortunately, will not be of any help. Not when it knows nothing but corruption and is comfortable with the taint. In fact, we must be more diligent now that it has displayed its own consciousness."

Rukkhadevata sighs again as she watches Zhongli, noticing his stature, and sensing the weariness of his form. this whole situation doesn't just affect Dohalim, and she wonders just how much of a toll it's taking on the other god. she reaches over to tentatively place a hand on Zhongli's tail, fingers threaded through the tufts of fur lined on the top.

"You need your rest, as well. At the rate you are going, I fear for your erosion. This... Must not be easy for you."]

I agree completely. But with this act, we are equipped with a little more information.

[at the touch of a hand on his tail, Zhongli's head tilts slightly as he turns his gaze back to her, a faint pause there only when she mentions his erosion. ah... that.]

I have been resting to the best of my ability. This isn't enough to take too much of me, and... if I am honest, being so close to the Earthen core, I find myself somewhat reinvigorated. [his tail shifts slightly against her hand, soft fur lifting slightly at how fingers thread through it; after a moment, he does shake his head.] Right now, all I have to do is keep track of my own self. I don't wish to worry him over something that should be many decades off, even now.

[after all, that's the reality as he knows it. as a God, as a technically ageless being, staying with a mortal... it's certainly best not to stress his poor Renan's heart, isn't it?]

[that's what Rukkhadevata is worried about. what she fails to mention, and isn't sure she should mention it to the other right now, is the fact that, in the process of cleansing Umbra with her own astral energy, the transference of it from her own self into Dohalim's body... his ancestors were her disciples chosen specifically for a purpose such as this. that, if and when the time comes that she is to relinquish her station, that one of the mages will be able to take up the mantle, so to speak.

effectively, it would make Dohalim a god of this land, if he were to accept it all. so for Zhongli to allude to his erosion as an event in the distant future, outside of the constricts of time when it comes to mortal life...

perhaps she really should tell him, at some point. but is now really the best time, when it's the middle of the night, and that both Dohalim and Zhongli need their rest? they should be getting back to Viscint, but... maybe she might also be a bit protective of them both, and wants to watch over them for a while.

finally, Rukkhadevata speaks again, eyes trained down at the scales under her fingers. "Would you be willing to tell him sometime in the future?"]

... if it became important, of course. I've already spoken to him of how my own energy isn't as strong as it once was, I only want to keep him from dwelling on something he can't change now.

[He hasn't begun to forget, after all. It isn't a big deal yet.]

Eventually, I suppose I will have to introduce him to the Conqueror of Demons, as well.

["He does have a penchant for doing so, doesn't he..."

it's a fault that Rukkhadevata recognises in the Renan, which only worries her for when he inevitably finds out the truth of his people. she'll have to figure out how to soften that blow for when the time comes, if Umbra hadn't already unveiled the truth by that point. though, she has a feeling that the corruption takes enjoyment in making those Dohalim trusts tell him truths about himself that they've been hiding, perhaps to break his trust in them, and to pit him against them. now that she thinks about it, this might get messier than she had previously anticipated.

at the mention of Xiao, Rukkhadevata looks back up at Zhongli.

"Ah, yes... How is he doing, by the way?"]

His heart is far too gentle for his own good.

[Zhongli reaches to gently brush the redhead's hair back, quietly just watching him for a moment. It's his greatest strength, of course, as well as his most glaring weakness.]

He is well, as far as I can tell. We haven't spoken in person for quite some time, but I do send along some medicine to help with the effects of our contract. You know how he is; he has been keeping as little company as ever.

["Of course."

Rukkhadevata will admit that she doesn't know much about Xiao aside from his valiant efforts when it comes to containing the corruption that does spring up on Dahna from time to time. but, she also knows what Zhongli says to be true: that he doesn't like being around people too much, which does make meeting him a little more difficult. she could just call out to him, but without a purpose other than to strike up a conversation with the young spirit, even she can recognise that it would be a waste of time.

"It is nice to know that he's still performing his duties, and that he's as well as he can be, considering."

she does know about the other spirits that used aid Xiao in cleansing the planet, and how they'd all unfortunately fallen. so for him to continue on... she hums softly to herself.

"Though, I wish he could take rest when he should. Even he must think that pushing himself isn't healthy."]

One would think... but he seems to throw himself into it with a vigor that is almost unnatural.

[it's another difficult thing for Zhongli; though he had freed Xiao from his prior life, the one he had locked the spirit into was not all that much better. that he maintains this zeal for his work is more concerning than anything.]

Nothing shy of demanding it of him will make him slow down, I think. At least, until he finds someone to truly bond with.

[his expression belies that that is... a significant ask, really.]

["That sounds awfully familiar."

whether she's alluding to Zhongli or Dohalim, the goddess doesn't say, a small, but amused smile on her face. she looks at Dohalim for a moment, lifting a hand up to brush her fingers against his face, pleased that she's able to give him this must needed rest. and it also seems that Umbra has quieted down enough that he hasn't awoken again.

what a mess this all is... and the Renan doesn't deserve any of it. there's another soft sigh as Rukkhadevata drops her hand into her lap.

"Would you like to stay here for a while longer, or should you head back to Viscint soon? I would imagine the concern the guards would have over their missing lord, especially at this time of night."]

Haha, I suppose it does...

[does he know it could be about him too? Probably. Still, he says nothing on the subject. It is... pleasant to have this quiet, though he does wish Dohalim were able to be awake for more of it. Perhaps it would be better if he visited alone at some point, without the interruption of his deity in his talks.

Surely there are questions he would like answered that he won't ask in front of Zhongli...]

... ah. I spoke with the guards when I left, but... I suppose we should return soon. A pity, but it wouldn't do to linger too long, and have to carry him through a bustling city.

[to that end, he exhales a sigh and brushes his fingers through the redhead's hair. Truly, it is an inconvenience... but such is their life, really.]

Ah, I nearly forgot to ask - do you know of any other tinctures or teas to safely alleviate his nightmares from time to time? I can certainly use a dream walker's tea, but I... appear to not have enough astral energy to maintain my human form for a time after. At least not without a long rest.

[It's embarrassing. He doesn't say so, but it's implied; that small form speaks a lot about where he's come from, but to be forced into it... ah well.

It also doesn't slip past him that it's a little strange, since one would think a metaphysical realm would be less hard on a body, but that's the tea for you.]

[Rukkhadevata had already started to think about what herbs she may have that would provide dreamless sleep until the mention of Zhongli's alternative form. she's seen his other forms before, from the imperious dragon that reflected his phenomenal power from before the Renan invasion to the much smaller, more condensed version of his draconic form. and since she hadn't heard anything about the former making an appearance, and with the lack of astral energy to even show such a form, she thinks it's safe to assume that the deity is talking about the latter.

which only serves to amuse the goddess, as she brings a hand up to hide the obvious amused smile forming on her lips.

"I may have a few blends I can send you off with, however... Do you mean to say that your smaller form had made an appearance?"

she'll admit to herself that, in the very few times she's seen Zhongli in such a state, that the rotund little dragon form is rather cute. perhaps they may be intrusive, but harmless thoughts, but she always did wonder what he would feel like in her arms, and have wanted to just... scoop him up on those occasions]

[ma'am, that is rude.]

... mm. Much to the alarm of several of his men.

[There's a sigh there, unsurprising. It's... embarrassing, thinking of how easily he was caught and "kidnapped." The memory is almost enough to distract him from her obvious amusement, but after a moment he shakes his head.]

Under any other circumstance, I wouldn't mind, as it's a simple method to conserve my energy... but clearly, we cannot yet afford to have it known what I am as a whole.

[He may be actually blushing, just the slightest bit; though he doesn't talk about what happened, it's easy to assume he wasn't exactly his normal, stony self for all of it.]

["Ah..."

well, that's a minor inconvenience, especially since whatever gods still on Dahna are more or less incognito now, in part to hide from the Renans, and to watch the land and its people. so for Zhongli's cover to be blown... that's a little troublesome, especially with how close he is to Dohalim.

he seems calm enough about it, but the flushed pink on the other deity's cheeks tells a different story. of all the forms to be caught in...

"It seems they've taken it in stride if they've allowed you to stay close to Dohalim."

she can't imagine those men were too happy to see what they would have assumed to be a strange zeugle in Dohalim's presence, after all]

I... believe seeing how firmly I had to talk him down from harming them probably swayed their thoughts, and instilled the reality of how important my secret remaining kept is.

[his head shakes as he recovers from the embarrassment, glancing down to Dohalim now. it ought to be fine, he thinks. they're coming to terms with his closeness to the Lord, and if he can help lift him up further... so much the better.]

I do hope that they continue, as a whole, to accept this. The lack of hesitation has been a relief, but I do harbor some concerns, as time goes on.

[especially with Kelzalik being... everything he was.]

[well, that makes more sense. Rukkhadevata's expression sobers a little as she drops her hand onto her lap. if Dohalim had truly thought about harming his people who had probably had pure intentions (as much as she can go by with little information on the situation), then something big must have transpired between them. and for Umbra to try to get the Renan to act on that corruption... she's starting to piece together just how twisted the Great Astral Spirit has become.

which only makes the goddess ponder on how to cleanse it. perhaps there really is no other way... for now, she'll monitor Dohalim, and hope that she can find another way.

Zhongli's own concerns pull Rukkhadevata out of her thoughts, verdant eyes looking into amber.

"What concerns are those?"]

Only that I'm certain my arrival would no doubt have seemed suspiciously timely, so immediately after the previous attempt at insurrection. As you know, the variety of things I cannot explain to an average Dahnan are myriad can make it... difficult to explain my position and intention - if they are willing to set aside their worries regardless.

[He speaks all of this as if it's perfectly natural to; much of it, he suspects she already knows or had guessed. The major events are, after all, recorded somewhere within her domain.]

["Mm, yes, I suppose that does raise some concern. Though, his people must have accepted you if they allow you to continue to be so close to Dohalim."

it's almost laughable that the gods themselves almost need permission from mortals to be close to them, but times truly have changed, it seems. even if Rukkhadevata is so secluded from the world outside of her grove, the rate of information that comes to her and her domain doesn't slow.

of course, that does end up sparking just a little bit of guilt. if she didn't have her post to consider, then maybe she could have intervened when the Renan had gone on his rampage. perhaps she could have seen how deep the corruption had settled in sooner, and spared Dohalim some of this pain. she does recognise that there's no point in dwelling in the past, but the goddess can't help but lament over it.

"The time will come where we will have to reveal the truth to all. Rena may act soon, after all."]

Perhaps. At least, as far as they understand me, that seems true. They are more concerned for his wellbeing than my intentions, right now.

[His worries are mild overall, he supposes. If they raise arguments later, then they will see them through in those moments. None of them want a repeat of that betrayal... none of them want to see Dohalim so deeply, wildly unlike himself.

And of course, Zhongli has no intention of allowing it to happen again. Especially because, as she points out, they don't know when Rena will manage to see its plan through.]

... you're right. I only hope that... when it comes to be, he can rely on more than just we Gods to each his goals. That should mitigate some of the damage our truth would give to the people.

[and it would be nice, he thinks, to just be able to be this way around Dohalim more often. At least with people from Autelina, if not Menancia as a whole.]

[Rukkhadevata nods slightly, letting out a soft sigh. she doesn't like retaining information from those whose very lives would be uprooted by plans made hundreds of years ago. if only she could be honest, but... she knows the time isn't right, yet. there's no cause for panic and chaos at the moment. and Dohalim... there are more underlying issues that need to be seen to before they can proceed.

the goddess moves to stand, hands smoothing out her dress of nonexistent wrinkles before walking over to an ornate chest by the giant tree.

"You mentioned wanting something for Dohalim's nightmares. Is there anything else you would like me to procure?"]

Ah... not that I can recall at this moment. If there is anything you think would be helpful, of course, I would be grateful to have it.

[Zhongli shifts his weight once more, ensuring he's secured Dohalim in his arms so that he can let his tail dissipate, regrettable as that is. then he steps toward the younger deity, watching her move with mild curiosity.]

[nodding again, Rukkhadevata pulls out several small jars and sachets, pausing to glance at the faded labels to make sure she's pulling out the right ingredients, before moving over to a small work bench. there, she makes quick work with sifting out the different dried leaves into a small wooden box. she mutters something under her breath, possibly about what ingredients go in, and how much, but her movements don't hesitate one bit. it's been so long since the last time she's made such a tea, but it seems as though as the recipe hasn't left her.

she tops off the blend with several dried flowers, before laying a small wooden spoon on top of the tea, and sealing the box.

"There we go. A tea to block nightmares, with flowers to stimulate pleasant dreams. But, for the most part, his sleep should come to him undisturbed."

Rukkhadevata places the box carefully in Dohalim's lap, before reaching up to gently brush her fingers through his hair.

"Have him drink a cup every night. Even if you... Exhaust him before bed."

she gives Zhongli a look, something glinting in her eyes]

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