eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There are bound to be uncertainties when dealing with a circumstance that has no precedence, you know.

[but his worries, as it turns out, are a little more... mundane than that. the when of it... and of course, how to handle it...]

Yes, it isn't something you can reverse. There are some methods to slow it - keeping one's routine is known to be helpful, as is continuing to learn about the world as it changes. As to when it starts... no, but the question is more how long it will take to manifest in any way that is problematic. It's something I've spoken briefly with Rukkhadevata about - after six thousand years, it would be stranger if there was no stain of erosion on me at all.

That said... with very little to shake up my memories, I likely have several centuries, perhaps another millennium, to maintain my self. If I can find someone worthy of taking over my duties sooner, then... I can also safely live out my life as I wish. My successor, or another God or their successor, could provide my final rites when absolutely necessary.

Is there anything I can do to assist with this?

[Dohalim doubts there is; there's no way he can be the successor to a god, much less Zhongli. while he has control of both plants and rock, it's only because he was so lucky to be born from a line of powerful Renans. but for someone not born of Dahnan descent, even if there was a chance of a mortal ascending to godhood, there's no way he could take up the mantle.

right?

so there has to be something else he can do. something to ease the erosion if it does come within his lifetime. if he has to navigate this, while fighting his own battle with Umbra, then... then so be it]

If there's a chance of this starting sooner than you had anticipated, tell me what I can do...

[Dohalim drops his head back down onto the deity's shoulder, pressing gentle kisses along smooth skin in an attempt to comfort himself somehow]

...

[Zhongli closes his eyes briefly at the question, keeping himself relaxed and calm under the redhead's weight. he can understand the worry, the want to help, but... ultimately, assisting isn't so... simple. even so...]

All you need to do is be yourself, Dohalim. [he doesn't move, not wanting to stop Dohalim's soft kisses over his skin, not wanting to be parted with him. if he could, he would keep them here all day, but...] Erosion has a tendency to set in when one lacks anything to look forward to. When day blends into obligation, and one slowly grows tired. As the world stands, there is nothing that should be able to hasten it.

If it became an absolute necessity, I... imagine you could use your Master Core to store my energy. It would be better if I could be sealed in the earth itself, of course, but in an emergency...

[he can hardly lay claim to Dohalim as his successor, in any case. even if he were to be, the man is far more suited to Rukkhadevata's power than his, and beyond that... they would have to reveal that devastating truth to explain it fully.]

But that would mean I have to...

[he would have to allow himself to use the Master Core to store Zhongli's power, as well as learn how to do it. he supposes it wouldn't be much more different than storing the harvested astral energy from the Dahnans, but... would he be able to do it? would he be strong enough to?

and to be himself as a way to help... that's almost laughable. he isn't sure he's felt like himself in so long]

And I don't even feel like myself, so I'm not sure how that will help.

Yes. It would be... a dire circumstance, but it is a way.

[he chuckles softly at the comments, wanting so badly to press their lips together. the angle just isn't right for it... so all he can do is reach up and brush his fingers through Dohalim's hair, soft and gentle.]

Are you not yourself like this, too...? Is it not you who wants to be like this? With me?

[it's a soft question - there's no disappointment there, no implication that he believes it to be the case. a reminder that he isn't asking for anything complicated, really.]

I... Perhaps...

[there's an unspoken "but" there, as thoughts rattle him. Zhongli is right in that he himself wants to be like this, in this moment and for the rest of his life with the deity, but aside from that... it's a small ripple in a giant pond of conflicting emotions. and who's to say that this person here is who he really is?

sighing softly, Dohalim closes his eyes for a moment, the hand in his hair lulling him a little]

It's just... I'm not sure how to explain this... I'm not sure I've felt like my own self even before Umbra's discovery.

[perhaps it's the expectations placed on him, from his family to the Renans who participated in Kelzalik's insurrection... who is he as a person? who should he be as a person?]

You're still young; it's natural to struggle with knowing exactly what you want and who you are.

[as usual, he doesn't have a proper answer, only a vague platitude of his own understanding. still, he continues his gentle motions, humming softly.]

It can be difficult to decide what it is you want to do; even your intentions with uprooting Rena may not align with your eventual wishes. That's alright, in the end. We can work through that together.

[Dohalim falls silent, letting the fingers in his hair soothe him. maybe Zhongli is right, maybe he's on a path of self discovery for himself. maybe there are things he's yet to know about himself, outside of his duties and expectations. but when he'll learn of them, if he ever will, that's a different story.

glancing at the window, the sun shining brightly through the stained glass panes, Dohalim huffs out a sigh]

...I suppose we should get cleaned up.

[now that he's mentioned it, Dohalim is suddenly very aware of the mess they've made, and on his sheets, too. oh, that'll be something to explain to his servants... maybe a different position would have been a better move, but... he'll admit that he did enjoy seeing Zhongli's hips pulled up by his tail as he took him from behind--

perhaps he should leave that train of thought for another time lest he gets himself going again]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Zhongli hums softly and shifts a little, pushing himself up and away from the sticky mess beneath him. It's... definitely not the most pleasant feeling, cooled as it is.]

Would that I could claim the day for myself, but I wouldn't keep you from your work too long. Ah... perhaps I will wash the sheets when I bathe, so that there is... less to explain.

[granted, most of those who take care of Dohalim regularly have probably already guessed at how close they are, but still. It's a lot to ask of someone.]

Would you like to wash up together, or separately? I will likely take a bit of extra time to soak, if I'm honest... I don't wish to keep you, though. I can catch up when I'm properly clean.

[It may not have been their most intense time together, but definitely one of the more messy ones.]

[if it were any other time, Dohalim would have given Zhongli a Look for even suggesting they bathe separately. as it stands, all he does is shake his head as he moves to finally pull himself out of the deity. it's a swift motion, so as to not stimulate the both of them again, but he does let out a soft sound as the cool air settles over his cock. ah, it did feel better inside of Zhongli...]

Mm, no, I want to bathe with you. I need to be close to you right now.

[maybe he's a little needy at the moment, but until duty calls and he needs to work, he'd rather not be separated from the other. he just hopes that his clinginess doesn't get to be too much for the deity.

there's a reluctance there, but Dohalim finally pushes himself up onto his knees as he sits back on his heels, eyes wandering along the deity's back, before letting them follow his tail. the temptation to take it again is too strong as he reaches over, careful not to tug on it (now that he knows how sensitive it can be), but gently guides the end of it to him so he can bury his fingers in the tuft of fur]

If you wish to bathe longer, I won't stop you, but I want to be there with you while I clean up.

[Ah... Zhongli can't help the soft gasp and faint groan as Dohalim pulls free, shivering a little. and he's just worried about them getting a little too lost in the bath, ok.]

Alright. I have no complaints about it, of course.

[once the Renan pushes himself up, Zhongli stretches faintly, exhaling a contented sigh. he pauses when a hand reaches to glide over his tail, but lets it lift easily so that the other can bury his fingers in the tuft at its tip. careful not to pull his own tail (not that the effects would be the same, he thinks) or jostle Dohalim, he reaches up to pull him into a kiss, soft and warm.]

If I'm honest, I'm just enjoying this form... and I would like to give my scales a proper wash before changing back. [even if it doesn't really matter, there is... something uncomfortable about the idea of just dismissing them with whatever mess may have gotten on him.] I promise it won't be too much longer than we bathe together, though. The idea of being somewhere other than your side isn't particularly pleasant for me, either.

[is that now or altogether? hard to say.]

[Dohalim easily follows as Zhongli pulls him in for a kiss, his free hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck to pull him in just a little more. in his opinion, that kiss breaks a lot sooner than he wants, but he leans in to rest his forehead against the other's as he sighs softly, needing that closeness]

At least we're on the same page in regards to being separated. And... I suppose I could start my day a little later today.

[Dohalim smiles softly before he pulls away to stand and whatever sleep clothing he still has on, he does away with quickly, tossing them onto the bed to be taken care of later. he offers Zhongli a hand to take before making his way to the bath room, making sure to keep the deity close.

he lets Zhongli take care of whatever mess he needs to before they draw up the bath; he busies himself with the plants lined up along the walls, checking to see if any of them are in dire need of water. there's a sort of peace that settles over him, a peace that he's needed especially after the events from earlier in the night]

Mmm. Quite so...

[Zhongli stows any sense of reluctance in pulling away from Dohalim taking his hand to squeeze gently. It's warm and comfortable, and he follows the redhead's lead as they walk, practically still pressed together. The feeling is... satisfying, even with the trickle of seed starting down his thigh.

Once they've finally reached the bath, he's quick to slip his nightshirt off (perhaps it's lucky that the shirt caught a fair amount of his mess... it's hard to say) and prepare the water, unhurried and deliberate. He does take some of the warming water to rinse himself off somewhat, but the rest will wait until they're both together in the water.]

Are you ready, Dohalim? [He reaches out a hand again, fully intending to pull the redhead over to him for one last kiss before they get in.]

[luckily for Dohalim, it seems that someone had taken care of the plants that they don't need a watering until probably later; with the particular plants in the bath room, they thrive better in a humid environment and don't need water as often as others. but he always likes to take care of them when he gets the chance to, and Dohalim also feels like he's doing right by Rukkhadevata for doing so.

and really, they make the room look rather pretty.

but as soon as Zhongli calls out to him, he's quick to take his hand as he lets himself be pulled in for another kiss. Dohalim smiles softly into it, his free hand pressed against the deity's chest gently, thumb rubbing small circles against smooth skin and scale. it's a kiss he doesn't want to be over so soon, so there's more reluctance as they part. but he does nod at the question, leaning in to nuzzle Zhongli gently]

When you are. Do you want to go in first, or do you want me to?

Mm... I suppose it makes more sense for me to, since we'll have to maneuver my tail around you.

[Zhongli leans in to bunt his cheek against Dohalim's, gentle as ever. they can do more, he knows, once they've settled in. which, reluctantly, he does pull away from the Renan to do, fingers lingering as long as possible. it'll be good to judge the water by his tail's weight, too... and in the end, it is nice to feel. heat seeps into his bones and Zhongli can't help but sigh, sinking into the water and glancing to the redhead. his brow arches in plain beckoning, even if he doesn't reach for the other man.]

[Dohalim wastes no time following Zhongli; as soon as he gets the okay to jump in, he's carefully stepping into the water. there's instant relief as he settles in against the deity, mirroring his sigh as he relaxes into the comforting heat. there, he takes Zhongli's hand again, threading their fingers together and brings it up to press a kiss to the back of his hand. gods, he really has fallen for this man, hasn't he... there's a fear of the corruption ruining it, taking it away from him but... for now, he can ignore it. for now, he can live in the bliss of Zhongli's company]

Mm... This is much better.

[his eyes slip closed as he sinks a little more into the water, letting more of the heat soothe him. if he's not careful, he could probably fall asleep in here...]

[Dohalim is so... sweetly domestic, he thinks. It's a tragedy that such a man has been placed in this position, forced to adhere to a legacy so twisted and tarnished. This, of course, is largely what drew him to the Renan in the first place - the soft glances when no one else was watching, the gentleness he conducts himself with that is so far beyond etiquette. He can feel the faintest tinge of pink when Dohalim's lips press to the back of his hand, uncertain exactly what causes that feeling. He certainly has no reason to be embarrassed, does he?]

I'm glad to hear it. [There's a chuckle, and Zhongli's other hand slides around Dohalim's waist, pulling him closer.] It's too bad we can't simply stay here for too long...

[for a time, he just sits there, basking in the warmth of his partner and the water. For once, everything seems calm and positive, and he... almost regrets how much he relishes that feeling. It doesn't affect how he feels at all in the long run, but it's at least nice to feel competent again. Will it last? Will he be able to provide Dohalim with everything he needs, no matter the circumstance? Of the two of them, he is the one lacking in experience being truly around people - the way that society is now, at least. He can't even claim not to hold some bitterness at the Renans, a history of exhausting abuse of his power that had only so recently run dry...

But, here and now, he just leans in to pull Dohalim closer, wrapping himself around the man to soothe his errant thoughts. His cheek presses to the other's, hand finally starting to move to help him wash. After all, that's what they're here for, ultimately.]

[domesticity is honestly what Dohalim would prefer rather than the forced duties of nobility he'd been born into and lordship he'd been indicted to. all he truly ever wanted was to live out his life doing what he wanted to do; he would have gladly become a minstrel if his life and family allowed it. the unfortunate truth is that even he knew he would never be able to live that life. maybe that's another reason why he's locked up his violin. but even if he still went the way of living a more humble life, then he would have been content with that. sure, he would still have to learn to do most things by himself (an unfortunate side effect of growing up noble), but he thinks he would be able to do it. perhaps he shouldn't dwell on it too much as it's a life he will never have.

he smiles softly when Zhongli pulls him closer, lamenting on a lazy day lost due to his work. if only he had mind to take the day off and delegate his work to those who are capable of doing it (something he's still trying to wrap his head around). and he knows his people would gladly let him have the personal day, but in good faith, Dohalim just can't do that. oh well...]

If only... Perhaps I would let you covet me completely like the greedy dragon you are.

[there's a lightheartedness in Dohalim's voice that's rare to hear these days, but he can't help but joke around. he's entirely too content at the moment, and maybe the false sense of security may backfire in the end, but he can't help it.

as Zhongli starts to clean him, he shakes his head a little and takes his hand to stop it]

You take care of me so much. Allow me to do the same.

[he may need a bit of guidance, but... he wants to take care of the deity, for once]

Ah, don't make offers like that... you may just find out just how greedy I can be.

[Zhongli laughs in turn, but there's an edge of honesty there too. Gods, if he had the time to covet Dohalim... but that's a thought for another time. Work is important, and the redhead only got so much good rest as it is. He can be disciplined.

He pauses when the other takes his hand, humming softly.]

You know, we could both do so... but as you wish. I thin I can keep my hands to myself for a little while.

[His fingers squeeze gently, fondly. It feels like a first, being this free with him. Even before, they'd had only rare occasions where things seemed calm and comfortable - partly thanks to Kelzalik, of course - and then... well, then there was Umbra. This... this feels nice. Relieving, even.]

I just want to be able to do something for you for once.

[letting go of Zhongli's hand and shifting around in the bath so he's looking at him, Dohalim reaches over to pick up a washcloth, before lathering it with one of his favourite soaps; one with a gentle floral scent.

Dohalim is a little clumsy when it comes down to actually lathering Zhongli up, but he's careful not to irritate his skin, especially around his scales. but there's a certain reverence in his movements as his fingers appreciate every dip and curve of the deity's body, bordering on actual worship, as if there's an instinct to do so. but not that Dohalim would complain; if it came down to it, and Zhongli did want him to worship him, he absolutely would]

Would you mind turning around so I can get your back?

[Dohalim tilts back enough for Zhongli to shift around, busying himself with lathering the cloth up with more soap]

You do more for me than you know, baobei... but I do understand.

[It's a whole different thing, being able to provide another person with the warmth and comfort of care. And for all his years of worship in the past, this is... something else. Zhongli watches quietly as Dohalim moves, reaching up only once to brush a lock of hair behind his ear when he's turned fully to face the deity.

The process is fascinating to watch (though he acknowledges that it might have more to do with who is doing it), and seeing the simple reverence in every step only makes it harder to not reach out. He's quite reactive in response to the washing, especially the care Dohalim puts into cleaning around his scales. Each pass frequently draws up contented noises and hums from the dark haired man, his hands finding rest around the redhead's waist to just rub his sides.

Though he doesn't doze, his mind wanders considerably until Dohalim speaks again, at which moment he blinks himself back to the present, a little embarrassed.]

... ah. Yes, of course.

[reluctantly lifting his hands, Zhongli leans in for a soft kiss before starting to shift, displacing the water a fair bit when moving his tail. Not being able to see him isn't all bad, though, since said tail can curl comfortably around the Renan's side. It really is as if he can't stand to be apart from him right now.]

[Dohalim smiles into the kiss, holding it for a moment before Zhongli moves around to face his back to him. there's a small laugh at the swish of water as his tail moves, before his lips settle on a gentle smile as it curls around him. he'll have to move said tail at some point to wash it as well, but for now, he's more than content with the weight of it pressed against him.

he's just as gentle with Zhongli's back, soaped cloth lathering up skin and scale, making sure that every spot is clean. even as he trails down to the base of the deity's tail, he's careful not to brush up against it the wrong way (especially now that he knows how sensitive it really is), but still cleaning it thoroughly. as Dohalim moves to the back of the other's thighs, he hums softly as he places a hand on the tail]

...Would you like me to clean your fur, too?

[His back is a little more sensitive than his front overall, both at the base of the tail and in general. Dohalim will earn the occasional squirm, settling down quickly enough. He's quite content to sit and enjoy himself, even if it's also a little hard when warm hands glide over his thighs, careful as he is.

When Dohalim places a hand on his tail, he glances back at the Renan, smile equally soft.]

If you'd like. The water will take care of most of it, but... it would be nice to have it detangled.

[not that the tuft tends to tangle, but he definitely wants the redhead's hands in its fur, okay.]

[Dohalim does take note of the squirming, mostly to avoid making Zhongli feel uncomfortable, but a part of him does put that information away for more... nefarious purposes. that small stint of teasing him earlier sparked something in him; he did enjoy watching the deity squirm like that. and there's something to be said about being the one of the only mortals, if not the only mortal to get a reaction out of a god with such simple touches.

but he'll put those thoughts aside for another time as he nods, setting the cloth aside to reach for a shampoo. he's not even sure if this will work for the fur, but with how soft it is, it's almost hair like. so, after he lathers his hands, he runs it along the top of Zhongli's tail, careful not to stimulate too much, though as he focuses on cleaning the fur, his fingers do occasionally massage his tail. just to make this a more pleasant experience for the other]

[it's as pleasant as he would have expected - perhaps less because of the shampoo and more because Dohalim's hands are soft and careful, warm against his scales. after a moment, he can't help but lean into the renan a little, humming softly as he tilts his head just enough to nuzzle into his shoulder, or whatever's closest, really.]

... Mmm. Are you enjoying yourself...?

[he certainly is, trying his damnedest not to just get distracted by the feeling of closeness and the want to just... nestle into him all day. truly, it's too bad.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject