eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

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[it's a tone that Dohalim is unfamiliar in hearing in Zhongli's voice; the man always does exude a sort of confidence he's sure a god would have. but this meekness coming from the deity is almost... cute, somehow.

Dohalim looks down at their hands, resting his free one on top of them, before looking back up at the deity's eyes. those golden amber eyes, eyes that have seen so much, eyes that seem to shine brighter than any Renan's. they're eyes that keep drawing Dohalim in, even when he doesn't want to be under that watchful gaze. he can't help but feel that warmth in them, much like the warmth he feels from Zhongli himself; those are eyes he can get lost in for hours, and not regret a moment of it]

Ah... Of course...

[he isn't sure what Zhongli is going to ask of him, but he hasn't given him a reason not to trust him yet. there's a curiosity there, wondering just exactly what the deity wants]

... Thank you.

[he almost apologises for taking so long to do this, to make it clear, but... after a moment, he reaches up to cup Dohalim's cheek, leaning in to press their lips together. it's soft and sweet, but filled with so much more. hesitant, as if waiting to see how the Lord will react to this sort of a confession.

Dohalim's lips are terribly sweet, enough that he could get lost in them, he thinks. actually, he could get lost in all of him, and maybe that's the most dangerous part of it all. or maybe it would be better that way, to make it so plainly clear that he wants little more than this man's time and attention, at least in private.]

[for some reason, Dohalim isn't all that surprised as Zhongli leans in to kiss him, as gentle as it is. no, it's almost... welcomed, with how he reacts by kissing him back. it's terribly selfish, to allow himself to reciprocate these feelings, when there are pressing matters that need his attention first. would his people think the same way? that, after all of what has happened, he's allowed himself such an indulgence? he had this thought previously; the first time he'd kissed Zhongli, but he'd thought that it was just his mess of emotions driving him to do so, wanting some sort of solace, a connection to tie him to reality, and not the constant nightmare in his head. the idea of being with someone romantically, to allow himself it...

the hand resting on top of their intertwined ones reaches up to slide to the back of Zhongli's neck as Dohalim pulls him closer. he can feel soft strands of the deity's ponytail tickle the back of his hand; he lets his fingers thread through them. there is so much about this being that Dohalim adores, even down to his stubbornness. but, he supposes that comes with the territory of the god of earth and stone.

he doesn't part from Zhongli, not yet; he doesn't dare to. almost as if to tell himself that this is real and it's happening, and it's not just a figment of his imagination. it's not a dream he's going to wake up from, he won't find himself in the grove in Rukkhadevata's lap, but instead, when he opens his eyes again, he'll see that warm amber looking at him. this, Dohalim, tells himself]

[he doesn't intend to pull away, not quickly. so long as Dohalim's reactive to it, selfish in his own right, this is... okay, isn't it? it's something natural, overall. something the renan deserves, at the very least.

a hand slides to the back of his neck to pull him closer, and Zhongli's first reaction is to press gently at a shoulder to urge him back onto the bed. this is a little more forceful, more needy. it speaks of so many things the deity cannot or would not say, a soft noise rumbling against his lips as those fingers tangle and thread into his ponytail.

his tongue feels impatient in his mouth, wanting to press forward, but he's still telling himself he should be a little patient.]

[Dohalim doesn't break the kiss even as he's pushed down onto his bed, though Zhongli may find it an opportunity as Dohalim's lips part as he gasps into the kiss. arms now wrap around Zhongli's shoulders just to pull him down more and keep him there, the Renan almost not allowing him to pull away.

though, it should be noted that he... doesn't have much experience in the way of romantic intimacy; sure he's had his share of concubines, and... well, there was that time with the deity that he would prefer not to think about. this, however, is different. there's more to it than simple physical pleasure, but more of an emotional need to be close. it's so precious that Dohalim wants to cradle it, to hold it gently in the palm of his hands and hide it from anything that could taint it. it's the purest thing he has, whatever this feeling is, and while he does think he doesn't deserve it, a part of him... wants to be selfish. he wants this. he just has to wonder if Zhongli feels just as strongly]

[He can't resist the temptation, in the end. After a gasp or two, the deity's tongue slips between Dohalim's lips, tangling with the Renan's own and exploring with slow, deliberate motions. His free hand slips round Dohalim's waist to choose the distance between them, clearly as unwilling to move away as the man.

Neither is terribly experienced with this; Zhongli's own moments of intimacy were so long ago that he can hardly think on them. It's not a bother, though. Just feeling everything between them, knowing that he's not only being allowed this selfishness but shown it in kind... well, it isn't that he doubted Rukkhadevata, but...

He's breathless when he pulls back, just enough to give them space to catch their breaths. Eyes stare into deep brown before he leans forward, pressing their foreheads together.]

... this is why I don't want to let you go.

[It's soft, barely a whisper really.]

Edited (Clown emoji ) 2023-02-09 08:20 (UTC)

[there is the temptation to wrap his legs around Zhongli's waist to lock him in place, but he resists it. it may be too much too soon. but tongues meet, and Dohalim could swear that Zhongli tastes like the tea he enjoys so much, with a touch of sweetness he just can't put his finger on. it's a taste he doesn't want to forget so soon.

as Zhongli finally pulls away, Dohalim wants to chase after him to close that small gap between them again, but he too does need to catch his own breath. small breaths puff against the other's lips, eyes lock together as Dohalim is once again pulled into amber. he searches in them for something, to see if he can catch a lie, but all he sees is sincerity]

...How long have you felt this way...

[Dohalim would be lying to himself if he said he had no lingering feelings of wanting to die; a simple kiss would not push that away. but he wants to know just how deep this has gone, and how long it's been]

How long...

[Zhongli exhales a sigh, letting himself settle on one side while still holding Dohalim close. How long indeed...]

It began, I suppose, not long after I met you in court and watched you interacting with your people.

[long before their bond and contract, that. His gaze doesn't leave Dohalim's, even with the change of angle.]

I'm aware that it is... unhelpful in the measure of what you've dealt with, but I... I could not continue keeping it to myself.

That long ago...

[there's an almost bittersweetness to it, thinking that if Dohalim had let Zhongli closer to him, then so much could have been avoided, perhaps. but maybe that was Kelzalik's plan all along, to avoid anyone getting close to the lord and ruining his plans of insurrection. Dohalim has to sigh softly as he curls up into Zhongli a little, admonishing himself for his own stupidity. Zhongli had shown kindness to him as he entered into his court, but because Dohalim had put his trust in the wrong person, he kept the deity at a distance.

he can feel the corruption pluck away at that thought, threatening to burrow itself into that seed and plant itself into him, but he resists, for once. he doesn't want it to mar this moment between himself and Zhongli, not when there's a comforting warmth between them]

So... What now? What does this mean for the both of us now?

That... is ultimately up to you, I would say.

[Zhongli doesn't think that Dohalim feels differently now, not after all that just happened. even so, it's not his decision to make as to how they move forward - he isn't the one with anything to really lose.]

If you want to return to the way things were, then I will be content with that. What I do won't change, after all. I will be content with only watching over you, if I must be. [finally he shifts, nuzzling in against Dohalim's jaw. he should pull away, he thinks, but... soon. for now, he just wants this connection. just for a little while.] Nothing you could possibly do could change that, for me. I will accept every part of you.

I don't--!

[Dohalim's words come out rushed as he burrows into Zhongli more, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. the fact that the deity can say that after what had just transpired between them... an arm flings out across Zhongli's waist to pull him closer, to show him just how close he wants him to be]

...I don't want things to be as they were before. I... I like this.

[whatever "this" is called. is it a romance, or is it something more? what would he consider Zhongli? a companion? or something else? there's no doubt just how close he wants to keep the other, but he's never felt this way about someone else before. the thought is almost terrifying, letting someone else in like this, opening himself up emotionally for another person. Dohalim supposes he already has, but this just goes deeper than trust at this point. it even goes deeper than the feelings he had for his friends. there's a certain word for it, but is it really that?]

Ah-

[it's a soft noise he makes, somehow sweet in the moment, as Dohalim pulls him closer, face buried in the crook of his neck. a sudden show of gentle force, enough to bring a touch of heat to his face if he's not careful.

his own arms slide around Dohalim then, eyes closing as he takes in the warmth of him - natural now, thanks to Rukkhadevata.]

Then... we shall take it one day at a time. [his breath shifts the redhead's hair a little, a little thread of amusement in his voice.] Admittedly, I am not... much more experienced in this than you are. Forgive me.

We can navigate through this together. I just want...

[what does he want? there are so many things, but Dohalim isn't sure he has the words to express what he wants from Zhongli. but it seems that, whatever it is, the deity is willing to give it to him. maybe a bit too willing, but Dohalim will accept it, as selfish as the thought is.

he pulls his head back a bit to look up at Zhongli again, silent for a moment as he just watches him. he hadn't noticed just how... soft he looks, in his contentedness. Dohalim's free hand sneaks up between them, brushing his fingers along Zhongli's lip gently, before leaning in for a chaste kiss]

I just want you by my side... Don't leave me.

[The deity watches quietly as Dohalim works through his wishes, his thoughts. Silently he waits for the answer, whatever it will be to see them boxing forward.

He certainly looks soft in that moment, watching past his lashes until fingers draw over his skin, his lips, and molten gold is covered for a moment in response to the chaste kiss.]

... not for anything. [His voice remains soft, fingers cradling his face.] You will never be rid of me unless you demand it.

[He seals this thought with a chaste kiss in turn, thumb brushing the side of the Renan's face.]

We should rest for now, if you can...

I don't want to.

[while it's childish of him to say so, and in those words, Dohalim feels like he's rested enough. he already missed out on a full conversation between Rukkhadevata and Zhongli, and he feels heaps better than he did before. the logical part of him does tell him that he's still sick (he can feel a little bit of that sickness still lingering), but he doesn't feel like he's going to pass out if he so much as moves around in bed.

no, he wants to spend his waking moments with the deity, now that there's this unspoken, mutual thing between them. perhaps he's getting a little too attached to Zhongli, but still. he can't expect to accept such a confession, only to be told to go sleep]

If I sleep, I'm not sure I will see you in my dreams.

[Zhongli murmurs something at the responses, unable to keep the faint dusting of pink from his cheeks at the absolutely cheesy, sweet line. really, how dare he be like this? the deity doesn't have the excuse of ignoring his own feelings, after all...]

I did tell you to rest, not to sleep. [drawing a thumb across Dohalim's lower lip, he leans in to give him another kiss.] Provided it isn't too rigorous, I'm not unwilling to consider doing something else, if you've an idea.

But... I also like to think you will see me in your dreams.

[he can't promise it, of course, but there's also a world where, if they fall asleep together, they might share the dreamscape again even without the incense.]

I've rested enough, I think.

[Dohalim mirrors Zhongli's blush as he lets his mind wander to what they could do instead of laying there, curled up into each other. again, no stranger to physical touch (though, he's still so painfully aware of how touch starved he is for anything else other than sinuous hands gliding along warm bodies), and he... has put his hands on Zhongli, but not in the way that elicits an emotional as well as physical response at the same time. and it's that thought the reason why his cheeks deepen into that red tinge.

it also doesn't help that Zhongli's words sound just as cheesy as his were]

Ah... Well, I don't... What would you like to do?

[maybe that could be a jumping point, just to see what Zhongli is willing to do at the moment]

What would I like to do?

[his voice is a little breathy with amusement, thumb brushing the Renan's lip again.]

What I would like to do would be far too rigorous for you, right now. Perhaps when you've fully recovered, I can properly devour you.

[maybe he really has been holding himself back for too long. there's a dangerous note of promise to the words, even as he shifts to nuzzle in against Dohalim's neck again.]

For now... I suppose I could just be content with touching you a while.

[ah, Dohalim hadn't realised he could turn a deeper shade of red, but Zhongli proved him wrong. if it weren't for the fact that Rukkhadevata had cured him of the worst of his fever, Dohalim would have thought that it had flared up again.

his thumb brushes along his lip again; Dohalim is a bit bolder as he parts them to slip the tip of it in for a moment, before Zhongli leans in to press against his neck. he lets out a soft sound as he himself pulls the deity closer still, tilting his head back to give Zhongli a little more room to work with]

Do what you will... I would not say no.

[he hadn't realised just how much of that touch he wanted until Zhongli said so; now he wants it. he wants to feel those strong but gentle hands roam along his body, pressing into every dip, tracing over every muscle]

[huffing a soft laugh against the other's neck, Zhongli presses kisses there.]

We should at least ensure we're not interrupted, I imagine. Though... I suppose we likely have a fair bit of time, given how recently we returned.

[fingers trail over the form hidden beneath his regalia, reverently feeling over the curves of his body. honestly, if it wasn't so likely to cause panic to see it so soon after Kelzalik, he wouldn't care who saw.]

What do you think, Dohalim?

Mm... But those in the palace are rather attentive when it comes to me and my health.

[a little too attentive, on Dohalim's opinion. he still thinks he doesn't deserve the praise and attention he does get from both the Renans and Dahnans (especially the Dahnans; what would they think of him if they ever learned the truth?), but it's a distant thought at the moment. gentle fingers brush up against him and he lets out a soft breath, as he mirrors Zhongli and ghosts his own fingers along his side]

As much as I don't want to part with you, perhaps we should lock the door.

[there's a hint of excitement in his voice, so different from his usual reservations or melancholy]

[it's a beautiful sound on his lips, alive and warm and so different from the norm. a smile crosses his lips and after another moment he sits up, fingers lingering on Dohalim's chest.]

Well then. Give me a moment to do that... and I believe you had another request before. I may be able to give you that at this time, as well.

[if they're going to lock the door, he should have more than enough time to trade back between both humanoid forms, he thinks.]

[a hand comes up to brush against the back of Zhongli's against his chest, letting his fingers trail up to his wrist, before pulling it away. the neediness for the deity's touch isn't because of a need to soothe the raging corruption in him, for once, but just to want it. perhaps he's grown a little too addicted to it, to having Zhongli so close to him. the last few days of being bedridden with him by his side hadn't really calmed those feelings down.

but, Dohalim supposes, he should let Zhongli get up to lock the door. if they were to get more into this... heavy petting, of sorts, he would rather not have someone walk in on them. and Zhongli's own thoughts on that are mirrored by his own; the fact that some of his people were already wary enough about the deity being so close to him that they've decided to kidnap him (Dohalim still has to figure out what to do with that, even if their intentions were goodwilled), he's pretty sure the entire palace would be up in arms about it. not to mention his own anxieties about letting himself have this moment, and thinking that the people of Menancia would say that he's skirting duties in favour of his own pleasure when the realm has so much work to be done still.

but he won't think on that for the moment, attention on Zhongli's words. as the man stands and heads tot he door, Dohalim can't hide the building anticipation on his face. if what he's promising is true... he can almost imagine that tail in his dreams, with those beautiful umber and obsidian scales, and the bright, soft tufts trailing down to the end of it]

If you promise, and cannot deliver, I will be rather disappointed.

[the laugh Zhongli gives in time to Dohalim's words is light and warm, his head tilting to glance back at the Renan.]

Well, I haven't promised, but the last thing I would like is to disappoint you now.

[being outside has truly done him good. traveling Traslida, with its overabundance of Earth astral energy, more than offered a bolster to his own stores of it - a fact he isn't entirely sure how to process. for now, it doesn't matter.

he's swift in clicking the lock shut, and before he moves to turn there's a flicker of that selfsame energy. it's very much like him, that sensation of cool stone that ripples through the room. normally, he wouldn't show so much - there's a natural danger to someone seeing your body change - but he trusts the redhead this much. he'll be able to watch as energy coalesces and draws over his skin, forming the now-familiar golden markings on pale skin and twisting into the tapered, scaled muscle that is his tail. the tufts appear last, as he makes the last steps toward the bed, tail shaking as if to shake off any excess sensation.]

Now, then. If this is acceptable for my Lord, [he's quick to lean over Dohalim again, hair falling over one shoulder as one hand perches over a shoulder, the other at his side. as he speaks there is the briefest flicker of a tongue much more slender than it once had been, alongside the glimmering, slit-pupiled amber of his eyes.] shall we continue as we were?

[there's a shiver that runs up Dohalim's spine when he feels the ambient astral energy swirl in the space, feeling rather familiar, even from before he'd met Zhongli. it connects him to the earth itself, to the foundations of the planet, and now, to the very energy within the deity himself. a separate bond, it seems, outside of their bound contract. it's... strange. as soon as he set foot on Dahna, he'd felt something, but brushed it off as an affinity for Earth astral artes. this other bond, he thinks, sort of feels the same way. he has to wonder if Zhongli feels it, too.

but, as the other leans over him, slitted eyes peering down at him, Dohalim can't help but be drawn in as he usually is. this time, he can see those different features clearly, and not through a dream, though he can't help but let his attention wander over to the tail. a curious thing, and something that, while his face doesn't show it much, does surprise him. maybe a bigger part of him wasn't expecting it, even though he's seen his much smaller form. but to see him in this form, between human and dragon... Dohalim also hadn't realised that he... really likes him like this.

there's a small smile on the Renan's face as he locks eyes with Zhongli, a hand coming up to gently brush through the hair cascading down his shoulder]

I suppose we shall. I'm yours to do as you please.

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