[Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...
[Dohalim wouldn't necessarily call it a chaotic disarray currently, but the sudden departure of one of his captains is, understandably, enough to shake the knights. Serval was truly one of his best, and one who upheld his ideals of coexistence to their core. so it was a surprise to receive her resignation letter, and a quick word of appreciation for the opportunity to serve under him; before he could say anything to try to convince her to change her mind, she was off. though, Dohalim is sure that anything he could have said would have been met with decline. the Landaus, for all their loyalty in serving the il Qaras family for generations (despite their own nobility), are a stubborn folk, and once they've made up their mind on anything, there would be no convincing them of otherwise.
honestly, even if the decision was abrupt, Dohalim knows that she'll be fine. that isn't what's on his mind as he heads down the ornate hallway to the barracks. perhaps a visit paid by him will lift the knights' spirits, but really, he has every intention on seeing one person. Gepard... Serval is his sister, after all. he's not sure what the man is thinking, if he knew of her resignation long before she had made it official, or if this came to just as a surprise to him as everyone else. either way, it would be nice to see Gepard and offer whatever words he can to him.
of course, as soon as he enters the barracks, he's bombarded with questions and requests by the other guards, wondering just what will happen, and how Serval's unit will be taken care of. as much as he wants to brush them aside to look for Gepard, he just can't, in good faith, so it seems like he'll be here for a while. oh well, what kind of leader would he be if he didn't listen to his people?]
honestly, even if the decision was abrupt, Dohalim knows that she'll be fine. that isn't what's on his mind as he heads down the ornate hallway to the barracks. perhaps a visit paid by him will lift the knights' spirits, but really, he has every intention on seeing one person. Gepard... Serval is his sister, after all. he's not sure what the man is thinking, if he knew of her resignation long before she had made it official, or if this came to just as a surprise to him as everyone else. either way, it would be nice to see Gepard and offer whatever words he can to him.
of course, as soon as he enters the barracks, he's bombarded with questions and requests by the other guards, wondering just what will happen, and how Serval's unit will be taken care of. as much as he wants to brush them aside to look for Gepard, he just can't, in good faith, so it seems like he'll be here for a while. oh well, what kind of leader would he be if he didn't listen to his people?]
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his own regimen, despite some fidgety shifting and unspoken worries (what if Gepard resigned too? their units needed good leadership, trustworthy leadership), was already getting back to its norm. there just isn't time for anything less, or so the captain tells himself. it doesn't alleviate the heavy feeling pressing down on his shoulders, doesn't stop him from glancing on occasion to the makeshift shield set aside for downtime. once the men have broken for training or rest, the blonde exhales a heavy sigh and brushes his hair back, glancing around the room. he'd noticed the uptick of chatter, but in his debriefing hadn't been able to pay it any mind.
... now that he looks over, catching sight of familiar red waves of hair, a wry smile draws across his face and he turns to approach. Dohalim hardly seems too overwhelmed, but the captains haven't even had a chance to debrief with him yet. asking all this already... are they really that worried?]
Come now, soldiers. I know you have plenty of things you're worrying about, but Serval only just tendered her resignation. [a hand comes to rest on a shoulder or two, and he shakes his head.] We're all in this together, so let's give it some time for duties to be divided up, shall we?
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there's a soft sigh of relief as the attention is turned to the blond; it allows him a moment to gather his thoughts without being so bombarded]
Spoken like a graceful captain despite the circumstances. He is correct in that there will be some time before a concrete plan is drawn out, but I do not see it taking particularly long. Please, all I ask is for all of you to be patient with me, and the other captains.
[both Gepard's and his own words seem to quell the soldiers for now, with soft mutterings and nods before they disperse. Dohalim lets out another sigh once it's only him and the other man, flashing him a thankful smile]
Thank you, Captain.
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No need to thank me, your Lordship. It's the least I can do; I'm sure Serval wouldn't want her regimen being so impatient either.
[to most, it wouldn't mean much. Gepard is so used to this that speaking without his emotions present is almost second-nature, especially when handling professional topics. still... a little of his tiredness seeps through, if one looks hard enough. he's clearly getting through it, but perhaps there's a hidden cost behind it all.]
Were you coming to call for the captains?
[there's not a second's thought to his own situation, let alone that the Lord of Menancia himself would be interested in it.]
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No, not yet. I've decided to pay... A more personal visit. To see how you're fairing with this sudden change.
[if Gepard isn't going to focus on himself (so typical of the man, and so familiar when it comes to his own self), then he'll just have to for him. Dohalim can sway it into looking like he's just making sure his guard is in top form, but... he's rather attached to the man. perhaps it's because their families have been so closely tied together... or perhaps it's something else]
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[Gepard is genuinely shocked at the nature of this visit, even if his assumption is naturally that it's related more to work than anything else. as far as he knows, Dohalim just cares deeply for his people, and well... maybe it makes sense. Serval is his sister, and it's not like it was a small decision.
clearing his throat, Gepard shakes his head and offers a wan smile in turn.]
I'm fine, your Lordship. At most, I'll be a bit more busy in the coming days, but it isn't like Serval abruptly left Menancia altogether. We... spoke on the matter before, and it quickly became clear that there was no changing her mind on this.
[though their disputes have been largely out of sight of the guards, he knows there are rumours - and that Dohalim has been around their family long enough to know how Serval and Gepard can butt heads sometimes. it's not difficult to make the leap, based on the slightest edge of annoyance that slips into his voice, that this was one such time.]
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[Dohalim manages to catch his words; it's no secret that the Landau family is so close to Dohalim, but it's not like he can forego propriety just because they're familiar with each other. especially when there are other guardsmen around them.
but still, the small frown on his face does paint a sort of concern that one would show to someone more than just an employee, and Dohalim reaches out to place a hand on Gepard's shoulder]
It looks like Serval's decision is weighing down on you. Had she mentioned why she left?
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[does he not understand, or is it an intentional sidestep? perhaps it's both; certainly, it's hard to tell. either way, any momentary hardness more or less melts when Dohalim rests a hand on his shoulder. it's such a familiar gesture, and yet he's not usually on the receiving end of it.]
I... naturally, I'm worried. Serval has made abrupt decisions before, but usually there's something that precedes them, if only in hindsight. She hasn't said anything concrete, this time. Only that it was necessary, and that perhaps she was better served elsewhere. She stressed that it had nothing to do with anyone but herself.
[which is perhaps why he's so worried. that claim, with Serval, is rarely truth.]
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but, there's no point in pondering on it for the time being. she is more than capable of taking care of herself, and if anyone were to slight her in any way, the misfortune would land on them rather than Serval herself. still, Dohalim hopes that she'll be alright on her own. perhaps he'll reach out to her in the near future to see if she's in need of anything. for now...]
There is no use in thinking about the why's for now. Perhaps she'll be able to tell us when she's ready to. As for you, why don't you take a walk with me? I'm sure you would like a break, and I would not mind the company.
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[there's a moment of pause then, at the suggestion. honestly, the last thing he wants to do is take a walk, to think on what's happened... but it's not as if it's some random person or even a squadmate suggesting it. he can see no reason to refuse Dohalim - either as a young man or as their Lord, really.]
Ah... if you'd like, I can certainly do that. My men have already received their last orders for the day.
[it's to help him, after all. Dohalim isn't so used to Serval's ways, and he cares so much... there's always a good chance this hit him harder than he's showing, too. the least Gepard can do is walk with him.]
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Excellent. And with you by my side, I won't run into any complications with leaving the city for a bit.
[it's no secret among the knights that Dohalim sneaks out of Viscint from time to time, any time his whims choose to take him. typically, he prefers to be alone, and would go as far as sneaking out of the city by climbing vines he'd summoned over the city walls. it is cause for chagrin amongst the guards, but ultimately, they can't really stop him.
and honestly, even if they don't talk about Serval, the fresh air might do the both of them some good. it'll be nice to stretch their legs and bask in the early evening sun, especially when the weather and temperature is just perfect for such a walk. and it'll be nice for them to spend some time together, not as a guard and his lord, but two old friends. or maybe he's getting a little sentimental]
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[there's no offense in his voice, just a little huff of laughter. this is hardly the first time it's been this way - before, things were just... a little easier. times were simpler, with fewer responsibilities. Gepard may be a little older than Dohalim, but they had been around one another for a long time.]
If you're insisting on going out, allow me to pack a meal first. There's no excuse for worrying whether or not we're well fed, especially should we run into any problems.
[this, too, is not unusual. Dohalim is a scholarly type, and he knows plenty about them and how often they just lose track of time and hunger both. it's just more reasonable, in his mind, for them to have something available should it come necessary. and it won't take him long to put together - there are plenty of prepared foods in the barracks alone for them to take, some even prepared by Gepard himself.
maybe it will be nice. he always did cherish his time with the Lord, long before he'd ascended to his rank. how long has it been since they just... talked? but then again, there's so much he shouldn't say, isn't there? he's not without regrets and uncertainties, to say the least.]
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[of course, there's no real ulterior motive in all of this aside from wanting some space from their respective duties. Gepard works so incredibly hard, and with his sister's departure, Dohalim would be lying if he said he wasn't worried over him. the slight exhaustion in his eyes are concerning enough.
though, he can't help but exhale an exasperated sigh, even though Gepard brings up a good point. they've easily lost themselves to good conversation in the past, to the point of skipping out on full meals in favour of an interesting topic. those conversations have dwindled, what with their busy schedules, so for Dohalim to say he's excited about this walk is a little bit of an understatement.
and when Gepard gathers enough food for the both of them, Dohalim will continue to lead him out of the barracks, and the palace, down the bustling streets of the city itself. of course, the random curio in the bazaar is enough to get him to stop every so often, asking Gepard about the wares offered and his opinion on them. it shouldn't be a secret to him that Dohalim likes to collect trinkets; perhaps it's a good thing that they're out on a walk and that it would be a bit of an inconvenience if he were to bring along a purchase and carry it around with him.
it's when they pass through the city walls that Dohalim looks a little more relaxed, his visage of decorum melting away ever so slightly. he only allows this show of vulnerability in front of his most trusted, and who more could he trust than a friend?]
If you don't mind walking a little ways uphill, there's a spot that overlooks the city we can get to from here.
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It feels remarkably lighter to be here with him, stepping outside the walls. There's so much to do, so many responsibilities, and Gepard forgets that sometimes.]
Lead the way. I'm hardly one to shy away from a little exercise, you know.
[in fact, he usually doesn't know what to do with himself if a walk ends too abruptly...]
As your guard captain, I suppose I should be worrying how you know about this spot and we don't... but you haven't changed at all, have you?
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[he's pretty sure the older Landau knew about all of the spots he would sneak off to when he wanted to be alone, and unlike the other guards, she would let him sneak off. while they aren't as close as he and Gepard are, she was, and is still like family to him.
thinking about her now, and how quickly she left, tugs at a deep rooted anxiety Dohalim refuses to let show to the blond. though, he's also sure that Gepard would pick up on that soon enough. ah... and he's the one who's supposed to offer consolation. luckily, there's a hidden pathway up the hill to distract him from such thoughts. he instead laughs as he reminisces on memories of their childhood. for all that he grew up in a stern household (not surprising, considering just how prestigious his family is), he always did count on the Landau siblings to brighten his day]
And I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.
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It's a compliment, but you're free to take it as you like. I'm honoured to get to see one of your secret comfort zones, though. I'll be sure not to use the knowledge against you.
[there's a softness there, almost playful really. it's true that he is significantly more strict than Serval, but as long as no trouble comes of it... where's the harm? (the harm is in when she does things like exploding things through windows, but that's neither here nor there). while they walk, it's... really like nothing's changed. their conversations are animated and warm, and Gepard is attentive as always.
admittedly, he's also keeping a fairly close eye on his liege. if Serval's sudden departure hit him hard, the empathetic and gentle-hearted Lord is no doubt affected. he doubts he would say anything, but perhaps he'll catch on.]
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[only because they're alone does Dohalim really let slip any propriety and official titles. between the two of them, no such things are needed to be upheld, and it only solidifies his trust he has in the man. even his closest advisors don't have this level of comfort, nor his closest servants. Gepard is just... special.
it is a bit of a hike up, but the makeshift trail does help with the trek somewhat. it's still a rather narrow pathway, clearly not a path well traversed, though it seems like Dohalim has been up and down enough that he's tamped down enough of the plants and earth. he clearly knows where he's going by how little he's paying attention to where he's stepping.
by the time they reach the peak of the hill, the sun is much lower, still high enough that they'll have plenty of light, but low enough to signal that it's much later in the day than when they left the palace. Dohalim himself isn't so worried about it, often finding himself up in this spot well after the sun had set. below, there's a clear view of Viscint, and Gilanne Woodland off to the side of the palace. even in the far off distance, Traslida Highway can be seen, as well as the mountain peaks separating Menancia to Cyslodia. honestly, it's no wonder Dohalim favours this spot, when he can see the splendor of his realm]
Here we are. I like to come up here when I'm... Deep in thought.
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[Gepard clears his throat, perhaps a little embarrassed to be seen in such a way. of course, Dohalim is probably being a little facetious. they both know he'd never blackmail him, after all.
his steps are a little more careful, following in the Lord's as they make their way along. the overgrowth and greenery is beautiful on its own, but when they reach the destination... it's a whole different thing. the guard captain pauses there, just taking in the sights from this vantage. the setting sun only enhances it all, and the way it lights Dohalim's face... ah.]
... I can imagine why you would choose this place when things are... out of the norm.
[his voice is soft, gaze flicking from Dohalim back to the surroundings. a sweet breeze flows by, rustling leaves just faintly. indeed... indeed, this is a wonderful little secret spot.]
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[Dohalim huffs out a small laugh as he moves to sit down. the grass is more kempt here than it should be, now fairly obvious that he comes up here quite often. he slips off his shoes and lets his feet bury themselves in verdant blades; he feels so much more connected to the earth this way. it's almost meditative, really]
I never would have thought that I would see something so lush and beautiful living in Lenegis. Perhaps, when the Crown Contest is over, I'll stay here.
[it's no secret among the palace and his court that Dohalim has no intentions of vying for the sovereignty, and he's lucky that he hadn't been met with opposition on the topic. if only he could stop the harvest of astral energy altogether, but... that would only raise suspicion from the Empire. and the last thing he wants, despite not even wanting the lordship, is for him to be replaced with another ruthless lord, and reverse everything he'd implemented. he wants to keep this peace.
and honestly, if Gepard and Serval and Lynx were to stay here on Dahna, then... there isn't anything on Lenegis tying him down to it. especially with... no, he shouldn't be thinking about that. not when he's supposed to be here for Gepard]
Would you... Stay down here with me, if that's the case?
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[now that they're here, he can relax a little more. He never really had to raise his guard too much, to be fair, but still... the younger man is important to him. Perhaps more important than he should be, if he really thinks about it. Setting aside their food and his shield, Gepard moves to find somewhere to sit and join him.]
I never thought it was possible, even on Dahna. But... it suits you, too.
[There was always a consideration that Dohalim might choose to stay - not by nature of his prestige, but because of his personality, really. Gepard had been prepared for this from the time they'd been sent off to Viscint in the first place, but... it sparks some sense of uneasiness in him to hear it so casually. The Crown Contest may feel like a distant goal post, but it marches ever closer. As for him...]
... I... it's a difficult decision for me to make, admittedly.
[He should be comforted by the fact that he has his line, that he is... well, a Landau. His duty is to the leadership, isn't it? Of course, by the end of the Crown Contest, he'll be old enough to have a few options, but...]
I would be lying if I said there was no part of me that upholds the traditions of my family. Unlike Serval, I feel more connected to it... and I'm afraid there may be expectations that pull me away from staying. [He is their son, after all.] were it my choice alone, I would stay without a second thought.
[As his gaze turns back out to Menancia, to the verdant land and all its splendors, he looks... almost lost, in the moment. Serval's sudden departure, the idea of having to leave while Dohalim stays, to give up on this beautiful place... there's so much weighing on his mind in the wake of it. Rarely does his family name feel like a weight placed on his shoulders, but it's clear this particular circumstance causes no small amount of anguish. It's a vulnerability he rarely shows, a testament to his comfort in the other man's presence.]
I suppose... it will ultimately depend on what my sister does. Despite her... creative differences in upholding our name, she still does so. Perhaps if she decides to stay, it would open an opportunity for me, as well. [His smile is wan and wry.] Someone has to keep an eye on you both, lest you end up making very... creative messes.
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[it's just so painfully Gepard to uphold those traditions, to accept whatever it is that is asked of him. it's honestly the way of Renan society. they all have their places and positions, responsibilities to tend to. he's no different. he had the expectations of becoming a lord placed on him that he'd trained every day until the time came that he had to go through his trials. if it were up to him, then things would have been different. quite possibly, both his and Gepard's lives would be different. there would be things he would act upon without hesitation, if reciprocated--
no, he really shouldn't be thinking about that.
sighing softly to himself, Dohalim glances up at the other man, the setting sun creating a halo of light around him, or so it seems. he so wants to reach up and tilt Gepard's face towards him, so he can look at those blue eyes--]
What creative messes? As far as I remember, I'm the one who gets dragged into them.
[Dohalim's argument is only half hearted, but he matches Gepard's wry smile with his own. leave it to the captain to pull him out of thoughts he shouldn't be thinking about. it would be silly of him to think that whatever deeper feelings and need for connection would be met in kind by the man; they're only friends]
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[Gepard's gaze stays on the view, lest something in him should crumble looking back at Dohalim. there have been few moments where he would consider cursing his responsibilities, but this... this is perhaps the deepest, most painful of them. to think of leaving Dohalim behind, of being unable to stop and see how he's doing, of being even nearby... would that he could escape the cycle of being a Landau.
he envies Serval in that; her nature is so headstrong that her family line can't be denied, and yet she operates with a clarity and self-assuredness that Gepard can only imagine having. to think she would leave his side in this way, too...]
... I suppose that's true. It's normally Serval and her inventions causing havoc, isn't it? But regardless, you do both always protect one another, too.
[maybe that bothers him a little, too. not that they're close - both of them are perfectly fine friends and they deserve that. it's just... there's a distance he keeps - a distance he has to keep, lest he break the tenets of professionalism with his Lord. if he could just put them aside for a short moment, maybe it would be better, but Dohalim is too important for someone like him.]
What... do you think you would do, after the Crown Contest? With the end of your Lordship, I imagine you would have quite a few options available to you.
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[and by fine, Dohalim really means it's not fine. Serval already left and while it's true that they aren't as close as he and Gepard, she's still very dear to him. now that he has the time to slowly process her departure, it's starting to sink in that he won't be walking by her in the hallways, striking up conversation whenever they do pass by. she's always been so easy to talk to, and it's like she's the big sister he never had. and now that there's also the possibility that Gepard may have to leave his side too... it seems that everyone he cares about truly does leave him in the end. but, of course, it's not like he can voice this to the man, not when he brings up a good point. it's just the nature of who he is, and what family he's from. he'd just hoped that, considering how close their families are, how close they are that he could be the exception...]
I find Serval's inventions rather innovative. She could put some of the scientists in Lenegis to shame if she were to bring them back up there. I hope that whatever path she chooses from here out, she'll be able to create whatever it is she wants. Music included.
[he supposes that's why he likes her; their love for music did bring them close, and Dohalim has to smile warmly at the countless hours spent on their craft and sheet music with hastily written out notes stacked around them. simpler days, for sure, but fond memories nonetheless. and while she understood why Dohalim refuses to play his violin anymore, he does have to lament taking away the very thing that created that bond between them]
As for me... I'm not too sure. I suppose it depends on what my family wants of me. I do wish to stay here, but... I would have to make a compelling argument. [Dohalim's voice drops a little] I just don't... I don't want this realm to fall back on old ways. To the days where Dahnans would suffer day in and day out. I don't want to hear those screams and cries of anguish again. I want to see this realm grow and flourish, both in nature, and the people alike. If I were to stay here... Perhaps I could stay as an advisor to the next lord, and pray that they see the same views I do.
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[There's no bitterness to it, just the soft reminder that Gepard is quite aware of the heaviness of his answer. He has no intention of forcing Dohalim to confront his feelings on the matter, but perhaps he hopes it will at least remind him that he doesn't need to be alone with his thoughts. For now, at least, he is ever at his lord's side.]
Innovative, yes... but innovation should not bring with it property damage.
[sometimes, it really seems like Gepard is the elder sibling, not that he's not younger and once relied on Serval to protect him. Of course, Dohalim may have missed all of those years, but he does know their ages. And while he never had the same connections, he was often there, listening in the background. It's a shame, understandable as it is, that Dohalim has put down the violin seemingly for good.
As he speaks of his intentions, the guard looks over to him again, focusing on taking in every word. It will be difficult, he thinks, convincing his family to let him stay. They aren't without compassion, but Dahna... well, most of Lenegis' denizens pay it no mind.
For a moment, he's silent, mulling over his words. Dohalim is an idealist, but he's also a visionary and a kind, warm presence. It's what originally drew him to the man, what made him so excited to follow him to Dahna.]
... it would be a shame to see your efforts go to waste. To lose more of the people we protect... if it is something you can convince them of, then I would apply to join you without hesitation. I like to imagine Serval would stay here too... whatever path she decides to take. Knowing she would be leaving you in a bind was plainly a regret she held close.
[He should know, really. They see less dissimilar than many realise.]
I wonder, sometimes... just what is the point in the Crown Contest? Its history is long and prestigious, and yet I can't think of a single thing that the Lords' efforts ever brought to Lenegis. Perhaps it's worth reexamining whether it's the right path, when we return home. I don't mean to say that I don't trust their judgment, but... it's strange.
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[tilting himself back a little, Dohalim leans back on his arms. his nonchalant posture is so the opposite of who and what he is, and for a moment, he just looks... normal. like a normal person without the responsibilities of upholding his family name, leading a country, making sure his peoples' needs are met. truly, it's a weight he has to bear, and he has to wonder just how much longer he can carry it gracefully]
It will be a hard argument. If the Renan people can't even fathom the idea of breaking away from societal norms, then...
[Dohalim falls silent, watching Gepard as he voices his concern. that... he never really thought of that. perhaps it's because his family had produced several lords in the last three hundred years that it was something he'd just come to accept but... the captain brings up a good point]
...You best be careful with that train of thought. It might bring you more trouble than it's worth. However, now that you mention it... [Dohalim stops himself before he can finish that thought, clearing his throat softly] The sovereign rules from Rena. Lenegis is but the planet's satellite. Perhaps they perform their duties away from the public eye, to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible.
[he will admit that even his own reasoning sounds a little ridiculous, but what other reason does he have?]
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[for him, he knows its origins. his - the Landau Family's - dedication is to the people of Lenegis, long before Rena itself. they are Renans, but the people themselves come before the planet so few of them will ever see. even so, he can't help the slightly crooked smile Dohalim's concern draws forth.]
Worry not, I have no intention of making it widely known. Likely, it's simply a flaw in my thinking, given the time we've been down here. I would be lying if I said you had no part in it. [shifting, he reaches to grasp Do's shoulder, squeezing lightly.] I know your reasons may be complicated, but... your kindness has made more of an impact than you may ever know.
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