ilqaras: (pic#15232448)
Dohalim Melqal il Qaras Na'amo ([personal profile] ilqaras) wrote in [community profile] eggbowl2023-08-01 01:28 am

[Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...

[Dohalim wouldn't necessarily call it a chaotic disarray currently, but the sudden departure of one of his captains is, understandably, enough to shake the knights. Serval was truly one of his best, and one who upheld his ideals of coexistence to their core. so it was a surprise to receive her resignation letter, and a quick word of appreciation for the opportunity to serve under him; before he could say anything to try to convince her to change her mind, she was off. though, Dohalim is sure that anything he could have said would have been met with decline. the Landaus, for all their loyalty in serving the il Qaras family for generations (despite their own nobility), are a stubborn folk, and once they've made up their mind on anything, there would be no convincing them of otherwise.


honestly, even if the decision was abrupt, Dohalim knows that she'll be fine. that isn't what's on his mind as he heads down the ornate hallway to the barracks. perhaps a visit paid by him will lift the knights' spirits, but really, he has every intention on seeing one person. Gepard... Serval is his sister, after all. he's not sure what the man is thinking, if he knew of her resignation long before she had made it official, or if this came to just as a surprise to him as everyone else. either way, it would be nice to see Gepard and offer whatever words he can to him.

of course, as soon as he enters the barracks, he's bombarded with questions and requests by the other guards, wondering just what will happen, and how Serval's unit will be taken care of. as much as he wants to brush them aside to look for Gepard, he just can't, in good faith, so it seems like he'll be here for a while. oh well, what kind of leader would he be if he didn't listen to his people?]
earthwork: (♪Let's play with the fire)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-01 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
[it would be a lie to say he hadn't spoken with Serval about the circumstance already. or perhaps it would be a lie to say they'd spoken, both hot-headed as any Landau, dedicated to their work and endlessly self-assured. by the time she'd left to deliver her resignation, the younger Landau had already returned to his work, shoving aside the sense that something was inherently wrong with this and his own irritation both. for their whole lives, it's always been this way; he knows he'll cool down and accept his sister's decisions, knows the reasons will surface eventually.

his own regimen, despite some fidgety shifting and unspoken worries (what if Gepard resigned too? their units needed good leadership, trustworthy leadership), was already getting back to its norm. there just isn't time for anything less, or so the captain tells himself. it doesn't alleviate the heavy feeling pressing down on his shoulders, doesn't stop him from glancing on occasion to the makeshift shield set aside for downtime. once the men have broken for training or rest, the blonde exhales a heavy sigh and brushes his hair back, glancing around the room. he'd noticed the uptick of chatter, but in his debriefing hadn't been able to pay it any mind.

... now that he looks over, catching sight of familiar red waves of hair, a wry smile draws across his face and he turns to approach. Dohalim hardly seems too overwhelmed, but the captains haven't even had a chance to debrief with him yet. asking all this already... are they really that worried?]


Come now, soldiers. I know you have plenty of things you're worrying about, but Serval only just tendered her resignation. [a hand comes to rest on a shoulder or two, and he shakes his head.] We're all in this together, so let's give it some time for duties to be divided up, shall we?
earthwork: (♪In the shade of a life to die for)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-01 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Gepard watches as they disperse, a sort of fondness one would expect out of family - and maybe that's part of it, too. Gepard has been a guard so long, these are practically as much his family as Serval or Lynx or... anyone else really. once they've dispersed, his attention returns fully to Dohalim, hand rising up for a polite salute.]

No need to thank me, your Lordship. It's the least I can do; I'm sure Serval wouldn't want her regimen being so impatient either.

[to most, it wouldn't mean much. Gepard is so used to this that speaking without his emotions present is almost second-nature, especially when handling professional topics. still... a little of his tiredness seeps through, if one looks hard enough. he's clearly getting through it, but perhaps there's a hidden cost behind it all.]

Were you coming to call for the captains?

[there's not a second's thought to his own situation, let alone that the Lord of Menancia himself would be interested in it.]
earthwork: (♪And it's all that I will ever need)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-01 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Me?

[Gepard is genuinely shocked at the nature of this visit, even if his assumption is naturally that it's related more to work than anything else. as far as he knows, Dohalim just cares deeply for his people, and well... maybe it makes sense. Serval is his sister, and it's not like it was a small decision.

clearing his throat, Gepard shakes his head and offers a wan smile in turn.]


I'm fine, your Lordship. At most, I'll be a bit more busy in the coming days, but it isn't like Serval abruptly left Menancia altogether. We... spoke on the matter before, and it quickly became clear that there was no changing her mind on this.

[though their disputes have been largely out of sight of the guards, he knows there are rumours - and that Dohalim has been around their family long enough to know how Serval and Gepard can butt heads sometimes. it's not difficult to make the leap, based on the slightest edge of annoyance that slips into his voice, that this was one such time.]
earthwork: (♪And I'll stand in the snow)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-02 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
... with all due respect, your Lordship, I am quite aware of my own limits. I will not do anything that could put our country at risk, you have my word.

[does he not understand, or is it an intentional sidestep? perhaps it's both; certainly, it's hard to tell. either way, any momentary hardness more or less melts when Dohalim rests a hand on his shoulder. it's such a familiar gesture, and yet he's not usually on the receiving end of it.]

I... naturally, I'm worried. Serval has made abrupt decisions before, but usually there's something that precedes them, if only in hindsight. She hasn't said anything concrete, this time. Only that it was necessary, and that perhaps she was better served elsewhere. She stressed that it had nothing to do with anyone but herself.

[which is perhaps why he's so worried. that claim, with Serval, is rarely truth.]
earthwork: (♪And it's all that I will ever need)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-02 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, I have no doubt it will come to light eventually.

[there's a moment of pause then, at the suggestion. honestly, the last thing he wants to do is take a walk, to think on what's happened... but it's not as if it's some random person or even a squadmate suggesting it. he can see no reason to refuse Dohalim - either as a young man or as their Lord, really.]

Ah... if you'd like, I can certainly do that. My men have already received their last orders for the day.

[it's to help him, after all. Dohalim isn't so used to Serval's ways, and he cares so much... there's always a good chance this hit him harder than he's showing, too. the least Gepard can do is walk with him.]
earthwork: (♪Hear my promise of blistering light)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-02 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Is that why you're asking me?

[there's no offense in his voice, just a little huff of laughter. this is hardly the first time it's been this way - before, things were just... a little easier. times were simpler, with fewer responsibilities. Gepard may be a little older than Dohalim, but they had been around one another for a long time.]

If you're insisting on going out, allow me to pack a meal first. There's no excuse for worrying whether or not we're well fed, especially should we run into any problems.

[this, too, is not unusual. Dohalim is a scholarly type, and he knows plenty about them and how often they just lose track of time and hunger both. it's just more reasonable, in his mind, for them to have something available should it come necessary. and it won't take him long to put together - there are plenty of prepared foods in the barracks alone for them to take, some even prepared by Gepard himself.

maybe it will be nice. he always did cherish his time with the Lord, long before he'd ascended to his rank. how long has it been since they just... talked? but then again, there's so much he shouldn't say, isn't there? he's not without regrets and uncertainties, to say the least.]
earthwork: (♪In the shade of a life to die for)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-02 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[Gepard is open and honest in his opinions; despite the prestige of the Landau name, neither he nor Serval have really shown the disdain and conceit that so many Renans conduct themselves with. He does have to admit to having little knowledge of the curios and their history, thus evaluating them a little more... physically overall. He himself is partial to flowers, though particularly in this venture he only makes a passing comment really. He's... never been good at looking after them, too his chagrin.

It feels remarkably lighter to be here with him, stepping outside the walls. There's so much to do, so many responsibilities, and Gepard forgets that sometimes.]


Lead the way. I'm hardly one to shy away from a little exercise, you know.

[in fact, he usually doesn't know what to do with himself if a walk ends too abruptly...]

As your guard captain, I suppose I should be worrying how you know about this spot and we don't... but you haven't changed at all, have you?
Edited 2023-08-02 18:10 (UTC)
earthwork: (♪In the shade of a life to die for)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-03 07:31 am (UTC)(link)
[he would certainly probably frown disapprovingly, though if pressed, he wouldn't likely drag Dohalim home. the man is strong enough in his own right that the blonde doesn't really need to worry about him... though that hardly stops that from happening.]

It's a compliment, but you're free to take it as you like. I'm honoured to get to see one of your secret comfort zones, though. I'll be sure not to use the knowledge against you.

[there's a softness there, almost playful really. it's true that he is significantly more strict than Serval, but as long as no trouble comes of it... where's the harm? (the harm is in when she does things like exploding things through windows, but that's neither here nor there). while they walk, it's... really like nothing's changed. their conversations are animated and warm, and Gepard is attentive as always.

admittedly, he's also keeping a fairly close eye on his liege. if Serval's sudden departure hit him hard, the empathetic and gentle-hearted Lord is no doubt affected. he doubts he would say anything, but perhaps he'll catch on.]
earthwork: (♪To believe)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-03 08:46 am (UTC)(link)
... No, I was rather implying I wouldn't come here to try and find you later. A kindness, for our past.

[Gepard clears his throat, perhaps a little embarrassed to be seen in such a way. of course, Dohalim is probably being a little facetious. they both know he'd never blackmail him, after all.

his steps are a little more careful, following in the Lord's as they make their way along. the overgrowth and greenery is beautiful on its own, but when they reach the destination... it's a whole different thing. the guard captain pauses there, just taking in the sights from this vantage. the setting sun only enhances it all, and the way it lights Dohalim's face... ah.]


... I can imagine why you would choose this place when things are... out of the norm.

[his voice is soft, gaze flicking from Dohalim back to the surroundings. a sweet breeze flows by, rustling leaves just faintly. indeed... indeed, this is a wonderful little secret spot.]
earthwork: (♪And I'll stand in the snow)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-03 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps it's a bit mild... but it covers most topics, I think.

[now that they're here, he can relax a little more. He never really had to raise his guard too much, to be fair, but still... the younger man is important to him. Perhaps more important than he should be, if he really thinks about it. Setting aside their food and his shield, Gepard moves to find somewhere to sit and join him.]

I never thought it was possible, even on Dahna. But... it suits you, too.

[There was always a consideration that Dohalim might choose to stay - not by nature of his prestige, but because of his personality, really. Gepard had been prepared for this from the time they'd been sent off to Viscint in the first place, but... it sparks some sense of uneasiness in him to hear it so casually. The Crown Contest may feel like a distant goal post, but it marches ever closer. As for him...]

... I... it's a difficult decision for me to make, admittedly.

[He should be comforted by the fact that he has his line, that he is... well, a Landau. His duty is to the leadership, isn't it? Of course, by the end of the Crown Contest, he'll be old enough to have a few options, but...]

I would be lying if I said there was no part of me that upholds the traditions of my family. Unlike Serval, I feel more connected to it... and I'm afraid there may be expectations that pull me away from staying. [He is their son, after all.] were it my choice alone, I would stay without a second thought.

[As his gaze turns back out to Menancia, to the verdant land and all its splendors, he looks... almost lost, in the moment. Serval's sudden departure, the idea of having to leave while Dohalim stays, to give up on this beautiful place... there's so much weighing on his mind in the wake of it. Rarely does his family name feel like a weight placed on his shoulders, but it's clear this particular circumstance causes no small amount of anguish. It's a vulnerability he rarely shows, a testament to his comfort in the other man's presence.]

I suppose... it will ultimately depend on what my sister does. Despite her... creative differences in upholding our name, she still does so. Perhaps if she decides to stay, it would open an opportunity for me, as well. [His smile is wan and wry.] Someone has to keep an eye on you both, lest you end up making very... creative messes.
earthwork: (♪To believe)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-04 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
I apologise that I can offer no more concrete an answer, Dohalim.

[Gepard's gaze stays on the view, lest something in him should crumble looking back at Dohalim. there have been few moments where he would consider cursing his responsibilities, but this... this is perhaps the deepest, most painful of them. to think of leaving Dohalim behind, of being unable to stop and see how he's doing, of being even nearby... would that he could escape the cycle of being a Landau.

he envies Serval in that; her nature is so headstrong that her family line can't be denied, and yet she operates with a clarity and self-assuredness that Gepard can only imagine having. to think she would leave his side in this way, too...]


... I suppose that's true. It's normally Serval and her inventions causing havoc, isn't it? But regardless, you do both always protect one another, too.

[maybe that bothers him a little, too. not that they're close - both of them are perfectly fine friends and they deserve that. it's just... there's a distance he keeps - a distance he has to keep, lest he break the tenets of professionalism with his Lord. if he could just put them aside for a short moment, maybe it would be better, but Dohalim is too important for someone like him.]

What... do you think you would do, after the Crown Contest? With the end of your Lordship, I imagine you would have quite a few options available to you.
earthwork: (♪And it's all that I will ever need)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-04 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I think we've known each other long enough to know that it isn't as simple as fine.

[There's no bitterness to it, just the soft reminder that Gepard is quite aware of the heaviness of his answer. He has no intention of forcing Dohalim to confront his feelings on the matter, but perhaps he hopes it will at least remind him that he doesn't need to be alone with his thoughts. For now, at least, he is ever at his lord's side.]

Innovative, yes... but innovation should not bring with it property damage.

[sometimes, it really seems like Gepard is the elder sibling, not that he's not younger and once relied on Serval to protect him. Of course, Dohalim may have missed all of those years, but he does know their ages. And while he never had the same connections, he was often there, listening in the background. It's a shame, understandable as it is, that Dohalim has put down the violin seemingly for good.

As he speaks of his intentions, the guard looks over to him again, focusing on taking in every word. It will be difficult, he thinks, convincing his family to let him stay. They aren't without compassion, but Dahna... well, most of Lenegis' denizens pay it no mind.

For a moment, he's silent, mulling over his words. Dohalim is an idealist, but he's also a visionary and a kind, warm presence. It's what originally drew him to the man, what made him so excited to follow him to Dahna.]


... it would be a shame to see your efforts go to waste. To lose more of the people we protect... if it is something you can convince them of, then I would apply to join you without hesitation. I like to imagine Serval would stay here too... whatever path she decides to take. Knowing she would be leaving you in a bind was plainly a regret she held close.

[He should know, really. They see less dissimilar than many realise.]

I wonder, sometimes... just what is the point in the Crown Contest? Its history is long and prestigious, and yet I can't think of a single thing that the Lords' efforts ever brought to Lenegis. Perhaps it's worth reexamining whether it's the right path, when we return home. I don't mean to say that I don't trust their judgment, but... it's strange.
earthwork: (♪Hear my promise of blistering light)

[personal profile] earthwork 2023-08-05 09:09 am (UTC)(link)
I feel obligated to remind you that you also weren't the one helping to repair the damage and apologise to the citizens. But... you're right, of course. Her assistance can hardly be overstated.

[for him, he knows its origins. his - the Landau Family's - dedication is to the people of Lenegis, long before Rena itself. they are Renans, but the people themselves come before the planet so few of them will ever see. even so, he can't help the slightly crooked smile Dohalim's concern draws forth.]

Worry not, I have no intention of making it widely known. Likely, it's simply a flaw in my thinking, given the time we've been down here. I would be lying if I said you had no part in it. [shifting, he reaches to grasp Do's shoulder, squeezing lightly.] I know your reasons may be complicated, but... your kindness has made more of an impact than you may ever know.

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