eggbowl | [Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...

[Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...

[Dohalim wouldn't necessarily call it a chaotic disarray currently, but the sudden departure of one of his captains is, understandably, enough to shake the knights. Serval was truly one of his best, and one who upheld his ideals of coexistence to their core. so it was a surprise to receive her resignation letter, and a quick word of appreciation for the opportunity to serve under him; before he could say anything to try to convince her to change her mind, she was off. though, Dohalim is sure that anything he could have said would have been met with decline. the Landaus, for all their loyalty in serving the il Qaras family for generations (despite their own nobility), are a stubborn folk, and once they've made up their mind on anything, there would be no convincing them of otherwise.

honestly, even if the decision was abrupt, Dohalim knows that she'll be fine. that isn't what's on his mind as he heads down the ornate hallway to the barracks. perhaps a visit paid by him will lift the knights' spirits, but really, he has every intention on seeing one person. Gepard... Serval is his sister, after all. he's not sure what the man is thinking, if he knew of her resignation long before she had made it official, or if this came to just as a surprise to him as everyone else. either way, it would be nice to see Gepard and offer whatever words he can to him.

of course, as soon as he enters the barracks, he's bombarded with questions and requests by the other guards, wondering just what will happen, and how Serval's unit will be taken care of. as much as he wants to brush them aside to look for Gepard, he just can't, in good faith, so it seems like he'll be here for a while. oh well, what kind of leader would he be if he didn't listen to his people?]

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Doha—lim— don't—

[It's such a struggle to form words as the redhead teases him. He looks... Gods, he looks beautiful there, but when doesn't he?]

Don't bring— nngh!— d-duty into this... you're the one that I...

[It's not that he would deny his lord anything, but it leaves a little bit of an uncertainty there. If his lord were someone else, if they had him like this... could he say no? He'd just rather not think about it.

He can't look away, even as his cheeks remain devastatingly hot in response to the sight. Trained on each other, everything feels so much more intimate. And his gaze trembles slightly in the face of every overwhelming sensation, twisting up in pleasure he doesn't know how to contain or what to do with.]

Ah-haaah... D-do... 'm glad—

[it'd be awfully awkward if he didn't like the taste, after all. But oh, the heat of him... Gepard can already barely control his volume, but as every inch sinks deeper into that warmth, he has to exhale a sharp curse. He's not small, he knows that much, so for Dohalim to take it all down is... impressive, to say the least.]

I... ah... fuck— doesn't that— isn't it uncomfortable?

[He can feel the way his cock is stretching Do's throat, even if he can't quite see it. It's tight, hot, alarmingly addictive; the blonde has to wonder how he'd even come to manage it. There's no jealousy in it, no worries over his bed mates (what right could he possibly have to complain anyway?), just... curiosity.

As much curiosity as he can muster as his hips tremble and shift. The urge to buck up is surprisingly strong, but he won't risk harming the redhead.]

[if this were any other time, Dohalim would think on what Gepard was trying to say. but he's entirely too distracted by the dick in his mouth, and the way that the blond is trying to talk. honestly, he should just be relaxing into this, though it's still a little amusing. and maybe a little cute, as well.

as for his own comfort, Dohalim doesn't pulls his head up, but hums softly around Gepard's cock. the teasing look on his face melts just a little bit into the pleasure of it all, everything becoming a little hazier as he tries to breathe around the length pressing against his throat. ah, it seems that, even when he's the one in control, his preferences still manage to peek through. he'll entertain the idea of Gepard having his way with him another time, however. tonight, it's about him.

reaching for one of Gepard's hands, Dohalim takes it and guides it to the back of his head, as if to tell him to push his head down, to really hilt himself in his mouth. perhaps he can indulge in this for a moment...]

[well, it's as clear a response as any, isn't it? Gepard gives up on the idea of speech then, watching the haze of pleasure meld onto his face. no, this clearly isn't painful for him. does it really feel that good? the blonde can only guess...

his breaths are already turning ragged before Dohalim reaches for a hand, and his expression is curious and questioning as he follows its guide. he... ah. he really wants him to...? it would be a lie to say he's not nervous at the thought, but... the redhead knows what he wants, doesn't he?

strong fingers curl in wavy hair, still a little unsure, somehow sweet in its kneading motions. it's more for him than the other, really, that he gives him plenty of time to respond... but after a moment, he gives a bracing breath and tightens his grip a little, hips lifting as that hand pulls down. it's- excruciating, almost; he'd thought for sure that all of it was in before, but the choked groan he exhales proves otherwise. fuck, fuck...

there's a sense of difficulty too, in making sure he's focusing on the other Renan. that he'll see it immediately if he recoils, if something seems off or too much or... he doesn't know. anything. the action itself doesn't come naturally in the first place, but he wants to please.]

[with his head pressed down and his breath cut off a little more, Dohalim's eyes flutter for a moment, letting himself slip more into his lust. he's going to have to come up for air eventually, but he'll relish in the feeling of his mouth being otherwise preoccupied. and now that Gepard had picked up on what he wanted... there's a choked off groan Dohalim lets out when the other man shifts his hips up.

it's when the lightheadedness finally comes and stars start to form in his view that Dohalim does lift his head up, lips wrapped tightly around the shaft as he slips the blond's cock out his mouth. strings of precum and saliva snap as he lets the head pop free; he's left gasping lightly for air as he looks up at Gepard again. eyes are half closed and glassy, cheeks flushed red under dark skin, and there's a yearning on his face for more. he's so painfully hard from even just that, and he has to wonder just how far Gepard is willing to go]

Mm... Don't be afraid to lose yourself a little... You won't hurt me.

[Dohalim's voice is soft and husky, and he doesn't elaborate before he wraps his lips around the head again. he doesn't move just yet, continuing to watch Gepard, to see what he'll do next, if he'll even make a move]

I'm not...

[there's a pause as Gepard assesses everything. as he looks over Dohalim, lips wet with precum and saliva, his expression so... fully immersed in want and lust. the sound of his voice is absolutely tantalising, and as those beautiful lips wrap around the head of his cock again... ah.

the blonde nods, faintly.]

... I'll try. For you.

[if... if he likes it this way, the least he can do is try it, right? he trusts Dohalim, especially with his own body. so... he'll try. shifting to sit up on his elbow a little, his free hand glides over the redhead's cheek and up to his hair.

and, slowly, Gepard pulls Dohalim down, hips rising up to meet his face. it's more deliberate this time, his attention more focused on his lord's expressions. there's still a little hesitation there, but more fascination by far. (he'd be lying, too, to claim it doesn't feel amazing.)]

[Dohalim lets himself be pushed down easily, cock slipping down his throat with no hesitation at all. his tongue runs along the underside, following veins and pressing against it, as if trying to coax out more pre for him to lap up. oh, he'd been fantasising about doing this with Gepard for so long that actually doing it now seems like such a fever dream.

not moving his head away and letting the other man do what he wants with him, Dohalim props himself up on his elbows, enough that he can tug the other Renan's pants down a little more. he really should get them off at some point so he doesn't accidentally get any sort of mess on them, but he'll worry about it later. he tugs them down enough to let a hand slip in, pressing a thumb against Gepard's taint, to encourage him to move him more. to have his way with him, even if it's just for a moment.

if he had it his own way, he'd have the man throatfuck him until he can't speak anymore, but... not yet. not when the man is trying to get used to even this. but hopefully, someday, they could work up to that. the both of them are so deep into this now, and so deep into each other that this can't just be some sort of one night stand, he thinks]

[being who he is, it'll likely be a long path. Gepard is cautious and gentle almost to a fault, which makes even this much a testament to his trust in Dohalim when it comes to his own body.

There's a pause when hands tug at his pants, pulling them down toned legs a little further, and the blonde stows the slightly self-conscious feeling it brings up. At least, he's trying... the sound he makes when Dohalim's thumb brushes his taint is downright sinful, hips twitching and squirming half away and half toward the feeling.]

D-do...

[It's a whine, as he tries to intuit what the movements are telling him to do. He wants... he wants to feel more, but is that right? The man's made no move to pull away from his dick, and he still seems most elated when it's practically choking him. There's so much to learn all at once, but his body is already primed and ready.

Is obvious in the way his cock twitches in its warm confines, the sheer amount of pre that pours from the tip and into his mouth.]

I... nngh... I can't...

[He can't hold back much longer. His grip loosens a little, fully intending to let Dohalim pull away before his orgasm hits. It certainly doesn't occur to him that the redhead might want to swallow it all.]

[Dohalim's next movements are contrary to what Gepard is thinking; at first it seems like he's heeding his warning as he pulls his head up, only to drop it back down. it's the only warning he gets before Dohalim sets a pace, sucking almost hungrily, humming around Gepard's cock. every time he drops his head, he swallows the length down his throat just as easily as before, his fingers now moving up to gently fondle his balls. Dohalim had been worried about overwhelming the man, but now, since he's so close, he wants to bring him to orgasm, wants to hear him in his bliss and pleasure.

if he was in a messier mood, he'd pull his head back at the peak of the blond's orgasm and let him cum all over his face, but... this is different. everything about this is different. Gepard isn't just another one of his courtesans who know his preferences inside and out. and maybe Dohalim's a little worried about what Gepard would think about said preferences, if he would look at him differently. he'll tuck that thought away for now, however, as his head dips back down again, lips tight around the shaft as he works Gepard. and really, he wants to taste more of him, he wants to swallow every last drop of cum he can give him]

[there's no time to question it, less still to protest in any way. Dohalim sets his pace and all Gepard can do is follow through in it. his hands, his mouth - he's entirely too skilled at this. it's absolutely overwhelming... but the blond can't say he minds.

of course, he can't say he's thinking much at all. everything is all instinct in that moment, from the way his hips twitch and jolt to the way his fingers twist just a little harder (too hard, he'll think later) in soft hair. the redhead's name falls brokenly from his lips, and it feels like mere seconds before he's thrown over the edge.

the other Renan will probably be pleased, and Gepard absolutely mortified later, as strong hands pull his face down into his hips, kneading and tugging at hair as his body trembles in orgasm. the sounds he makes are all entirely too loud too, practically echoing in the room. it feels... he can't even describe how good it feels, heat pouring into the warmth of his mouth, down his throat. he... he'd said he'd be fine, right? that the blond couldn't hurt him. in the briefest moments of lucidity, he clings to that reminder.]

[Dohalim lets out a soft, pleased hum at the tug of his hair and press of his head as Gepard cums, not even making a move to pull away as he swallows every spurt down his throat. the taste of him on his tongue is exquisite, salty and sweet at the same time. he honestly can't get enough of it, and he can't get enough of the blond. and those sounds... like music to his ears, more melodic than anything he's ever written or created. he wants to hear more of them, he wants the walls of the palace to remember what Gepard sounds like in the throes of passion.

but Dohalim also doesn't want to overwhelm him more than he probably already is; his hands slide back up to gently rest on the other man's chest, thumbs rubbing small circles on heated skin in an attempt to soothe. it's when Dohalim thinks he's swallowed down every bit of Gepard that he lifts his head up again, a pleased smile on his face as he licks his lips]

Hm... I take it back. Even divinity is not enough to describe you. You are magnificent.

[dipping his head back down, Dohalim peppers soft kisses along Gepard's navel, up to his chest. moving, he can definitely feel the ache of his own still hard cock, but he won't ask Gepard to relieve it. not when he's sure the man is a little worn out. and the way he does want to relieve himself... he's not sure Gepard would be ready for that... so he'll figure it out later]

[There's almost a moment of panic when he comes down a little; even through the haze of Dohalim's enthusiastic work, worry and embarrassment creep in just a little. His grip loosens even though the redhead makes no attempt to move, a murmured apology on his lips.

But... hands soothe up his torso, and even without him pressing down he stays there. It seems... it seems the young lord was being quite earnest. And he, in turn, finds himself a little sensitive by the time the man pulls away, breath slowing to faintly shuddery pants.]

I'm... you are too kind. [He still wants to ask, to ensure he's alright, but...] that was... I don't think I have the words.

[It's written all over his face, though. His cheeks are still pink, but there's a relaxation to him that's rare to see, at best. It flickers with still lingering want as Dohalim kisses his way up his chest, fingers sliding down the man's back as he moves upward.

... and of course, despite his currently softening cock and the pleasure of orgasm, he hasn't forgotten Dohalim's own need. He's not stupid, and he still wants to...]

I... [how does he say it? Gepard isn't unused to feeling clumsy, but... his voice is a little shy when he speaks.] is there still more you'd like to do? It... is quite early in the night, after all...

[kisses still trail upward until Dohalim gets to Gepard's neck, and even then, he doesn't stop them for a moment before he settles half on top of him. he's very well aware of the bulge in his pants pressing hard against Gepard's thigh; he shifts a little and lets out a soft groan. ah, he really should take care of that in a bit...

but Dohalim lets out a soft sigh, lifting his head up enough to look at the man under him]

Ah... There are... so many things I would like to do to and with you. However... I feel like it might be too much for our first time together.

[there are several implications here, including the fact that Dohalim doesn't want this to be a one time thing. he wants to feel inside him as well as feel the blond inside him as well, he wants those strong arms wrapped around him, pinning their bodies close together as they reach their climaxes together, he wants to yell out Gepard's name over and over again until it's the only thing he knows. but it would be too much, surely...]

If you would allow me to be honest... I want to take you completely. I want to be the one to covet you, I want to bury myself so deep in you. I've... Wanted it for so long... I've wanted you for so long.

But I can also understand if this is too much. You do not have to say yes.

[Gepard still struggles to keep track of every thought as Dohalim moves, his gaze half-hidden behind long lashes as he watches. he looks as good as he feels, and there's a faint inhale when that bulge presses against his thigh. ah... he really does need some help, doesn't he?]

Dohalim...

[he takes each implication in stride, thinking on it all. the idea of it not being a one-time thing... ah, what an exhilarating thought. there's a lot he only knows in passing, but when it comes to this...

when it comes to the thought of Dohalim's mouth on him, his hands touching all over, can he claim not to be almost... impatient for it? the idea of being coveted is new, and hearing that the redhead has wanted it for so long?]

... It isn't too much. [there's that breathiness to his voice again, hands reaching up to cup Dohalim's face gently.] I'm able to handle being a little overwhelmed, you know... but I want all of this. I can't... begin to say how long I've wanted to admit how I feel to you, let alone be here.

[even if he didn't know what to expect, that thought has been there for a long time. he'd just thought he was too old, or too rigid, or too... something. anything. Dohalim deserves so much more than his clumsy inexperience. but if he'll have him...]

[Dohalim is silent for a moment or two, as if assessing everything they've done so far, and what they both want now. he watches those soft eyes, before leaning down to rest their foreheads together. Gepard... truly is a wonderful man, and Dohalim isn't sure he deserves him. but Rena above does he want to keep him]

I've... I've wanted this for so long. [he repeats himself, as if trying to tell himself that he does deserve this, even though their respective positions make this a taboo] Since before we left Lenegis, I've...

[perhaps he'd always felt something with Gepard, but just denied himself that. he's sure that even back home, if they were to pursue some sort of relationship with each other, that the both of them would be looked down upon for it. so maybe that's why he never said anything... but here, in Menancia, there's a sort of freedom with that... it's just... their positions...

he can overlook it for now, but how long can he push that thought aside before it comes back to nip at his heels? would it be fair to Gepard if they were to keep this as a secret affair? could he possibly ask him of that?]

...Are you sure, Gepard? Would you let me take you?

[foreheads meet and for a moment, Gepard closes his eyes to relish in it. Just being so close to Dohalim, sweet and kind and gentle, it's worth... well, everything. The things he's admitted, the things he may never admit.]

I... I have to admit I'm still surprised by that. [Exhaling a soft laugh, the blond strokes a thumb along Dohalim's cheek.] To think, I was sure there was no chance, even back home...

[not even speaking socially, really. There was their positions to consider, but it's never been what kept Gepard quiet. It would just be trouble, especially with his job being what it is... but it really does feel different in Menancia. Like he could just... be, a little.

At his question, Gepard can feel that flush returning in force. Does he have to name it again...? He'll get used to that embarrassment eventually. Probably.]

... I'm sure, Dohalim. I want to... I'll give you anything I can. Myself is certainly included.

[There's some lingering nervousness for him, but he covers it well enough. This time he really has to rely on Dohalim's lead, after all.]

[honestly, if Dohalim were any other person, he would be more crass with his words. he thinks he's being eloquent with his words, considering their situation! laughing softly, he nuzzles Gepard's cheek gently, inhaling deeply]

You don't have to give me anything. Your companionship is more than enough.

[he thinks it would be too selfish to ask for more; he's already asked for so much. he presses a kiss to the corner of the blond's lips, before lifting himself up enough to reach over to his bedside table. he doesn't want to move away from Gepard too much, enjoying his warmth against him. he rifles through it quickly before pulling out a small bottle.

he doesn't do anything with it just yet, but instead lays it to the side for a moment as he sits up on his knees to slip his shirt off, thankful that his sleepwear isn't anything complicated like his regalia is. he does nearly as quick work with his pants, if not a little unceremoniously and tosses it to the side before moving to pull Gepard's off as well. as he sits back on his heels, he commits to memory every part of the man, every faint scar, every curve and dip of muscle defined under pale skin. his own cock twitches at the sight of his form, so ready and willing.

leaning over the other Renan, he settles down onto Gepard again, he lets out a soft sigh, pressing himself against him, to feel his warmth without the barrier of fabric anymore. ah, it's almost perfect... hips grind down gently against Gepard's and Dohalim lets out a soft groan; almost. almost perfect. he gives Gepard a chaste kiss as he rests his forehead against his again]

I should warn you... What comes next may be a little uncomfortable, if not painful. I will do my best to prepare you, but I want you to listen to your body. If it's too much, let me know.

Nonetheless, I would like to give you that and more, Do.

[he doesn't reach for the man's nickname, not as much as Serval does at least, but in a place like this... well, he's relaxed and comfortable, not to mention pleased to be here. a smile twitches on his lips when Do's meet the corner of them, head tilting to watch curiously as he... pulls out a bottle.

it makes sense, really; there's no way he could just safely take him, after all. Gepard is no fool, though he does feel a little foolish to be staring so... blatantly at the redhead, once he's stripped off his sleepwear. ah... he really is beautiful. practically blemish free, with the musculature to match both his grace and his fighting capability. the fact that he can see it when his dick twitches, when he's just looking over his own naked form, doesn't hurt matters at all.

no, that doesn't hurt matters in the least, and he doesn't bother to mute the shuddery little groan that rises up when hips grind down against his. he's starting to get back to that state of proper arousal, he thinks; either that or his body is just particularly sensitive to the other Renan. lips meet, soft and chaste, and Gepard reaches up to hold along his jaw, thumb brushing his cheek.]

I'll be alright, I'm sure... but I'll let you know. I have... something of a passing understanding as far as what to expect, at least.

[his cheeks turn just a little pink as he thinks back on it, at the way it felt when Do just brushed against him before. it'll only be more embarrassing, he's sure, once he starts reacting to more.]

[while hearing his nickname from time to time can be a little bittersweet, whenever he hears it from the Landaus, it always does put a smile on his face (even if it's usually Serval daring to tease him). it's true that Gepard doesn't use it very often himself, duty bound to address him as lord in public, but right now, in this space where it's just the two of them... there's a serene smile that forms on his lips as he leans down for another kiss]

Aha... Have you been fantasising about being in bed with me for a while, then?

[Dohalim can't help but tease Gepard, not when the flush on his cheeks is just so cute. it's honestly so nice and refreshing to see the man so relaxed, even moreso when they were up on the hill earlier that evening. it's as if their respective duties have melted away, and that there's nothing else in this world aside from the both of them and their feelings for each other]

I do have to wonder what you've been thinking about...

I— I haven't... overmuch...

[His embarrassment will never fade, at this rate. Dohalim is too got at knocking him off guard, especially in this space where he's already out of his depths.]

To be honest... I didn't think that much beyond lying here with you. Kissing you. I wasn't— entirely sure how anything beyond it would work, let alone what to expect.

[His hands slide around Do's waist, holding him close.]

I just wanted to make you happy, to treat you as sweetly as you deserve. But... I can't say I dislike this position, either.

[It makes some sense, anyway. Gepard is a rigid man when it comes to duties, and with a bloodline as powerful and storied as the Landau's? Everything was practically written in stone. Of course he expected to be the one to sweep his partner off her feet; even if she was a fighter, that etiquette wouldn't change.

And that makes it all the more exciting and confusing, being the one laid in bed and stripped bare.]

[it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise when Gepard says he wants to make him happy; it's what friends do for each other, right? but what could they really call themselves now that they're in this position? regardless, there's a mildly surprised look on Dohalim's face that quickly melts back into that soft smile of his as leans up to press a kiss to the blond's forehead]

You are already so sweet to me. Just staying with me...

[staying when his other friends had left him. Gepard may say he deserves this closeness, this bond, but it's still hard for Dohalim to believe that, even after all these years.

but that's a thought for some other time, and not when they're both naked on his bed and aroused]

I will say, you are rather cute when you're being sentimental.

[There's so much he wants to say. He wants so badly to stop Dohalim, to melt into the aching sweetness of that kiss and just... admit so much... but it's not the place or the time. It may never be.]

I would never leave you off my own volition, Dohalim.

[It's so much admission so at once, melded into a phrase spoken carefully plainly. If he could, he would turn the world upside down just to stay with him. If Do thinks he's being sentimental now...]

I— I'm not sentimental... [It's a miracle he doesn't huff.] must you tease me so? I can't even be mad at you when you say it so sincerely.

I know you wouldn't.

[little does Gepard know that Dohalim also has so much he wants to admit as well, but... he's not one to really show his emotions and lay them all out on the table for everyone to see. perhaps it's because he's not entirely too sure how, still, even to this day, having relied on his music when he was younger to do so. but he doesn't have that to rely on anymore, and there are just... so many things he wants to say to the man, but... this is already so much. to admit to more would be dangerous, he thinks.

so he'll more than settle for this. this is already so much more than he ever expected to transpire between them]

As for teasing you... You do make it awfully easy, from time to time. [Dohalim chuckles softly as he leans in to mutter in Gepard's ear] However, would you rather I tease you like this?

[he slides a hand down between them, palm lightly cupping Gepard's cock again, fingers subtly rubbing against the base]

That's hardly by design, you know...

[but he really is so easy to tease sometimes. Dohalim only leans harder into that, the brush of breath prickling his skin and the sound of his voice dragging a shiver through him.]

Doha--lim-

[his voice is so plaintive, a little whine in his tone as the redhead cups his cock, subtle rubbing all too plain to him. ah... ah. that is good, by the expression on his face.]

I can-- admit it's a little less-- embarrassing... haah... only a little...

[it's definitely enough to have his hands sliding up over the other's shoulders, fingers curling pleasantly around them.]

[humming softly, Dohalim leans in to pepper kisses along Gepard's neck, before biting down gently on soft skin. he's careful not to mark him too much, even though his uniform and armour will cover them, but for the guardman's sake, he'll try to be good. but... maybe just one... for his satisfaction... he bites down again, before sucking on the spot, humming softly when he pulls away to see the blooming redness starting to form under pale skin.

all the while, Dohalim's hand continues to tease Gepard, fingers going from gentle teasing to wrapping around the length to slowly stroke him to hardness again]

Hm... You are so responsive to every one of my touches, aren't you...

[if Dohalim were honest, though, if their roles were reversed, he's sure he'd be just as responsive. he'd been thinking about this for so long, after all, and he both does not want this night to end, nor does he want this to be a one-off. being with the man makes his heart flutter even just being around him, so for this... Dohalim knows he's about to fall even harder for Gepard]

D-do— wait—

[Oh, but he makes such a needy noise as teeth bite down on skin, a hand threading into soft locks amid a tremble that betrays his actual thoughts. It's unfair, being so... responsive. Do is just so adept at finding the right spots, and he can't even be mad at the ache left behind when he pulls away, angry red rising on soft skin.]

I— can't help it— mmnh... [He knows he'll struggle to recall everything Do does, at least enough to replicate it later... but he does intend to try. Right now, all he can think about is how good it feels, how hard he's getting in the younger man's grip.] You're... too good...

[His own movements are clumsy and directionless, but really, it's a miracle he can focus at all. He's considered something adjacent to this for so long too, albeit in reverse... maybe it was hubris, he thinks now, too think he could be so good for their first time together.]

Do... nngh... what else can I— do— for you...

[He's already getting so keyed up, and there's a sort of anxious energy that flows through him with nowhere to escape.]

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