eggbowl | [Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...

[Dohalim/Gepard] I don't know how to feel...

[Dohalim wouldn't necessarily call it a chaotic disarray currently, but the sudden departure of one of his captains is, understandably, enough to shake the knights. Serval was truly one of his best, and one who upheld his ideals of coexistence to their core. so it was a surprise to receive her resignation letter, and a quick word of appreciation for the opportunity to serve under him; before he could say anything to try to convince her to change her mind, she was off. though, Dohalim is sure that anything he could have said would have been met with decline. the Landaus, for all their loyalty in serving the il Qaras family for generations (despite their own nobility), are a stubborn folk, and once they've made up their mind on anything, there would be no convincing them of otherwise.

honestly, even if the decision was abrupt, Dohalim knows that she'll be fine. that isn't what's on his mind as he heads down the ornate hallway to the barracks. perhaps a visit paid by him will lift the knights' spirits, but really, he has every intention on seeing one person. Gepard... Serval is his sister, after all. he's not sure what the man is thinking, if he knew of her resignation long before she had made it official, or if this came to just as a surprise to him as everyone else. either way, it would be nice to see Gepard and offer whatever words he can to him.

of course, as soon as he enters the barracks, he's bombarded with questions and requests by the other guards, wondering just what will happen, and how Serval's unit will be taken care of. as much as he wants to brush them aside to look for Gepard, he just can't, in good faith, so it seems like he'll be here for a while. oh well, what kind of leader would he be if he didn't listen to his people?]

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Mm. Thank you.

[Gepard takes the glass without hesitation, not quite as delicate but at least with an understanding of etiquette. The longer he's here, the more he struggling to remove himself that this is just... a friendly request. There's nothing more to it, and he should want nothing out of it.

What would he even want? It's a ridiculous train of thought, even for a moment, but it doesn't keep his expression from softening in Dohalim's presence.]

My men tend to be more understanding than most, I think. The others relaxed when I assured them that we're already drawing up ideas, and that no one will be unheard in any concerns.

[As daunting a task as it is, Gepard is rather used to it. He's practically always on duty anyway... so it feels a little strange, taking the first sip of wine. Even following Dohalim's movements somewhat, he feels clumsy.

The drink itself is exquisite though, he has to admit. That's hardly a surprise with a connoisseur like the Lord, but it's still pleasant to learn.]

... ah. I think I understand now why you enjoy this so, just a little. [He laughs then, soft and warm.]

Mm, that's good to hear.

[at least Dohalim can relax a little in regards to that, then. not that the other captains weren't equipped to deal with something like this in the first place. but Gepard is such a smooth talker and so highly regarded that he's not surprised he was able to calm down the guards from the different regimen.

he takes a sip of his wine before holding the glass up to peer into the contents in the dim light. the wine itself is a nearly opaque burgundy hue, the light barely seen through it. honestly, it's one of his favourite vintages, and while he doesn't agree with his predecessors, the one thing they can all agree on is that Menancia is fertile enough to grow several vineyards, and that the wine produced is the best]

This particular wine is one I keep stocked in my personal stores. While different regions produce different flavour profiles, and while they are rather delicious, the soil around Viscint gives the grape a certain flavour profile that cannot be unmatched. Not to mention, it's full bodied without the presence of too much tannin, and delicately semisweet, and very easy to drink. Its bouquet--

[Dohalim brings the glass down, inhaling the inside of the glass and letting out a soft, happy sigh]

Oaky, and bearing scents of dark berries. Fruity, yet earthy at the same time-- Ah...

[Dohalim looks up at Gepard sheepishly, a slight flush in his cheeks. he hadn't meant to go off on a tangent about the wine, and unless he doesn't stop himself, or if Gepard doesn't stop him, he could go on all night about it]

I'm sure you don't want to listen to me prattle on about wine. My apologies.

[As Dohalim launches into explaining the wine, Gepard either can't or doesn't bother to hide his smile. This side of him, sophisticated and knowledgeable, is always a treat to see. It's always been so clear when he's interested in something... even if the blonde doesn't really understand half of what he says. When he pauses, the guard captain chuckles softly.]

It's quite alright. I enjoy listening to you talk about things you love, though you'll have to forgive me if I don't seem to understand the depth of the conversation. Wine has... never been my forte.

[The only thing that really is has always been martial arts, so maybe it's no wonder that he ended up in the guard. Even if Serval's songs get stuck in his head sometimes... he'd never call himself a musical person. Not really.]

Sort of like keeping your plants alive?

[there's a ghost of mischief hidden in Dohalim's smile, despite how nonchalant he delivers the tease. perhaps it's low hanging fruit to mention something like that, but Gepard is... notorious for his dead plants within the palace, especially when the realm Dohalim governs is that of earth astral energy. it does pain a little part of him knowing that the captain absolutely does not have a green thumb, and that every plant dies if he so much as looks at them, but he does have to admire Gepard's tenacity.

but really, they're not here to talk about Gepard's lack of floristry]

In any case, I don't expect many people to appreciate wine down to the very core of what makes it so exquisite. I find myself appreciating even the process, and how it goes from grape to drink. It's fascinating.

I— that is... complicated.

[The tease alone is enough to make him flush deeply pink, head shaking. He can't deny it - honestly it's been an issue since his first deployment here. Things weren't so actively busy then, but it was still enough that he often forgot. He still feels a bit guilty over it, but he just... can't stop trying.

Taking another drink of the wine he's been given, Gepard listens as the other explains more. Perhaps it's a little pretentious, but that's just indicative of their status, ultimately. The blonde barely thinks anything of it personally.]

I think that's a wonderful thing to have. It sounds fascinating... though I think an explanation would be a little more than a night's visit, for me to retain much.

[sitting up a little, he brushes his hair back. Now that he's sitting, now that he's taken a couple drinks, there's a little warmth that's starting to flicker through him. It's pleasant, really.]

Mm, you're right. I would hate to keep you up all night explaining the intricate art of winemaking.

[Gepard brushing his hair back does something to Dohalim, something he can't quite explain. there's a warmth that spreads through him that isn't the wine itself (it'll take more than a couple of glasses to get to that point), but... something else.

he tries to ignore the feeling for now as he downs his glass, before refilling it again. Gepard might notice that Dohalim has filled his up a lot more than he did his, which may or may not be so concerning. but it's clear that the lord's tolerance for the drink is much higher that he can act normally, which, at the end of the day, it isn't so bad, right?

but those are thoughts for a different day. Dohalim leans closer to Gepard, amber eyes watching him closely. he does want to make sure that the guardsman doesn't overdo it, considering that he really doesn't drink very much]

Are you feeling alright?

A conversation for a less busy time, indeed.

[There's a sense of fascination in watching Dohalim drink - he knows many of the guards who drink heavily, so it's not that Gepard is a stranger to high tolerances, but still... maybe it's just in being able to watch him, having an excuse.

Dohalim captures his attention with every movement, and Gepard wonders when that even began. He wonders what it would feel like to touch those lips, to—]

A-ah.

[He's startled out of his thoughts by the way the redhead leans forward, close enough that if he leaned forward, they could touch. His cheeks are already red from the drink, and he can feel heat rushing to his ears with the added closeness.]

I'm— I'm fine. Just a little warm. Why do you ask?

I've never seen someone flush almost immediately after taking a couple sips of wine.

[perhaps it's genuine concern that only gets Dohalim to lean a little closer and lift a hand up to Gepard's face, pressing the back of his hand to the other man's cheek. completely innocuous, or so Dohalim tells himself. maybe it's also a reason for him to touch Gepard without making it seem like there's a different motive to doing so.

but... they're so close. he could just lean in and-- no, he shouldn't. this is already too much. and with Gepard steadily hurtling towards drunkenness, it seems, Dohalim doesn't want to take advantage of him when he can't exactly say no. this, their company together so late in the evening is taboo enough. but even so...]

I... did mention I don't... ah...

[Dohalim draws a little closer, even touching his face, and Gepard's breath catches. his skin feels cool against the blonde's, almost intoxicating in its own right. oh, oh no, this was a terrible idea. he's so close, and he could just lean forward to...

clearing his throat, he shifts to face the redhead a little more. he's fine. honestly, despite the soft warmth coursing through him from the drink, he feels just fine.]

I'm not used to drinking... but I don't think I'm too affected. [he certainly has the wherewithal to keep his gaze just slightly away from Dohalim's, a little afraid of being this close. what if he did something? it's not... it's not worth it, is it? to potentially offend Dohalim, just for the sake of his own feelings... no, certainly not.] You needn't worry about me.

Gepard, I always worry about you.

[Dohalim's voice is soft at the admission. it's a little silly to be worried about one of his guardsmen, much less a captain, in a relatively peaceful realm, but on those missions where he has to set out away from the safety of Viscint's walls and his watchful gaze, Dohalim can't help but worry. he knows Gepard is more than capable of handling himself, and his men, but the fact remains.

this, however, is another bag altogether. he could swear he could see a little bit of a fluster with that redness, but what would Gepard be flustered about? is he downplaying his inebriation? it only worries Dohalim more]

Perhaps we should get you some water. It'll help with the flush.

[there's a reluctance in his movements as he leans away to place his glass on the low table, his hand slipping from Gepard's face onto his arm. it's strange that he doesn't want to lose that contact, nor does he want to actually part from the man. oh, this is dangerous indeed. he shouldn't have these sorts of feelings, especially for someone under his employ]

Nonetheless...

[Gepard knows he should just let this be. he should drink the water obediently, get over this fluster, finish his drink and not have more. there's a danger in the realisation that drinking could make it so easy to move the way he wants, to give in to what he wants...]

I'm alright, Dohalim. I...

[his gaze wanders to the table, to the glass there. what can he say? what should he say? it's just...]

... forgive me. I fear my head is just somewhere... less than advised. If you'll allow me a moment to compose myself, I'm sure I'll be fine.

[the answer to the unasked question, of how long he can stay with Dohalim and say nothing, is... evidently, not much longer than this. at the very least, he supposes it can't hurt too much to be a little more honest here. at worst, Dohalim sends him away in offense. right?]

A gald for your thoughts?

[ah yes, there's more of that worry now. he hadn't taken into consideration just how much wine could affect Gepard. and perhaps there's a little bit of guilt there, too. maybe it's because of his own coping mechanisms that Dohalim thought that a libation or two would help. but it seems it's had an adverse effect instead]

Or, perhaps, is there anything I can do?

[he has to do something for Gepard, for getting him to this point. water should absolutely be the first step, but he doesn't want to move. he wants to stay close to the man, for reasons he's refusing to admit to. his hand doesn't pull back, either, still gently holding onto the other man's arm. for... comfort, probably. yes, that's what Dohalim will tell himself]

It's... a bit difficult to speak them, if I'm honest.

[anything he can do? the question is almost laughable. if he were to ask, would Dohalim acquiesce? and... if he did, would it just be because he's upset? it's so hard to know how to navigate this. perhaps if he were more like Serval, he could just move forward without a second thought, but...]

If you will... forgive me for speaking frankly, then perhaps that would be enough. I have been wrestling with it for some time, and it may seem a bit strange, coming after the events of the day--

[he's rambling, he realises, and cuts himself off to exhale a soft sigh.]

... I can't seem to stop thinking about kissing you. It... isn't just the drink, lest you wonder. I apologise for bringing it up so abruptly, particularly when it's hardly my place to even be thinking this way. I'm just a guard, and I'm sure you've better choices of interest than someone like myself.

[...well, that's a little surprising. and so straightforward as well, but then again, Gepard isn't much of a liar. he can't help but laugh softly, not because he thinks what Gepard had said was outrageous, but that there's the irony in all of this. and here he thought that if he were to do the same, if he were to act on his own feelings, that Gepard would push him away in favour of his own duties. that this would all be a distraction from what he's supposed to do]

Ah, forgive me for laughing, I can assure you it's not because I think it a ridiculous notion. There's just... I'm not sure how to explain it.

[with his other hand, Dohalim gently takes Gepard's wine glass, and places it down onto the table by his. he can feel his heart thumping in his chest, nervousness suddenly taking over. he shouldn't... they shouldn't. there are so many factors here, so many that the Renan people would look down on, but... honestly, the thought of coexisting with Dahnans would already have him looked down on. so what is doing something like this, then...?

hands reach up to gently cup Gepard's face, palms feeling the flush of his skin. he should stop himself, he should wait until the both of them are completely sober. but Dohalim finds that he doesn't want to]

I hope you can forgive me for being so bold.

[and with that, he leans in, gently pressing his lips to the other's, not moving any more than that, to test the waters in case Gepard changes his mind]

No, it's perfectly reasonable...

[Gepard gives up the wine glass without hesitation, his gaze still anywhere but properly on Dohalim. he's waiting, of course, for the recourse. Serval always said he should be more bold, but... surely, something like this wasn't what she meant, is it? there's all sorts of blasphemy in this, and he just-

soft hands cup his face, and it finally pulls the blonde's gaze to the other man. his cheeks are still warm, flush still deep, but maybe now it's more clear that it's not all drink.]

What do you- mmn...

[it's so... gentle. soft. Gepard's eyelids lilt down as he leans forward, one hand drawing forward to rest on Dohalim's thigh. for him, he knows he'll be... clumsy. awkward. he just has to hope that won't bother the other.]

[it's so different from his other... liaisons, kissing Gepard like this. kisses he shared with the courtesans were fervent and heated, while hands tugged and grasped at anything they could. kisses were a means to an end, to lead to satisfaction and relief.

but this... this is different. kissing Gepard... warmth spreads throughout him, and he can feel his chest bursting with emotion. Dohalim isn't sure how long he'd wanted to kiss the man, but all he does know is that he's been holding it for quite some time. though, he doesn't move to deepen it, content with just keeping his lips pressed against the other man's for several moments more. he doesn't make a move to shift that hand on his thigh, content to let it rest there.

when he does finally pull away, there's only a hair's breadth between them; Dohalim lets out another soft laugh and offers a sheepish smile. his hands keep their gentle hold of Gepard's face, thumbs gently brushing against reddened cheeks]

It seems our feelings on the matter are muutal.

... so it seems.

[It's... indescribable, in some ways. The kiss had been so light, so soft, and he still felt almost like he was submerged in it. That had to do with Dohalim, he supposes. In either case, his own voice is soft and a little shy, closer to the young man he once was - could once safely be.]

If I may... ah...

[He doesn't ask forgiveness this time, but there's still a little hesitation in leaning forward to meet his lips again. It's not much deeper, but with him more aware, he thinks he can taste the sweet note of wine on the redhead's lips, the flavor muted between them. What do they do after this? He... really doesn't know. For now, he'll just make himself comfortable with this much.]

[it's... almost so sweet, with Gepard's hesitation and shyness. he really doesn't seem like he has any experience, then... that's alright by Dohalim. it's different than what he's used to, but he likes it. or maybe it's because he likes the man himself.

so he'll gently guide and coax him, one hand sliding down to the back of the other man's neck, and the other sliding down further to rest on his shoulder. he doesn't do much more in his movements, not wanting to pressure Gepard into feeling like he needs to do more. this is... this is almost perfect, if Dohalim is honest. perhaps he'd been pining for the other Renan for much longer than he originally thought.

after a moment, however, his tongue does run along Gepard's bottom one in a silent request for entrance, but Dohalim won't be offended if he thinks it too much so soon. but the offer is there, in case he wants to take it]

[He's hyper-aware of the movement of Dohalim's hands, drawing out a little shiver as one slides over his neck and prickles soft hair. It does make him wonder if he's doing enough, if he's missing something. Honestly, it's not like he'd never seen it before, but actually doing it?

His weight shifts when the redhead's tongue brushes across his lower lip, so... gentle in requesting entrance. That's not surprising, except that somehow it is. Is... that something that's also normal? Admittedly, Gepard doesn't really know, but he's more than happy to follow that lead.

If he's honest, he'd follow Dohalim in most anything.

Regardless, the blonde's lips part to let his tongue in, and the sensation prompts another movement. Fingers shift over his thigh to curl around a hip, closing the distance between them a little at a time.]

[Dohalim knows of Gepard's loyalty, and the fact that he really would do almost anything he asked of him. but it's also dangerous to know that, when there are so many things he wants to do to and for him. but he mustn't move so fast. not when all he wants is to pull the man flush against him to just feel every part of him.

but when Gepard does part his lips, Dohalim doesn't hesitate to slip his tongue in, tasting the faint note of wine on him. maybe it's just his imagination, but it seems that Gepard makes it taste all the more sweeter, and it makes Dohalim want to indulge more of it and him. but he can't... he can't move so fast. he shouldn't...

before he can stop himself, Dohalim's hand presses against the back of Gepard's neck, pulling him even closer as he moves to deepen the kiss, his tongue running along his. he's worried he's moving too fast, pushing Gepard into doing something he might not want but can't say it, but... but he can't help himself now. not when he's finally kissing him. but eventually, Dohalim does pull away for air, panting short puffs of air against Gepard's lips]

...Was that too much?

[It's definitely... different, when Dohalim's tongue slips between his lips, sweet and warm and so much better than the guard could have imagined. The faint note of bitterness from the wine melds with the taste of him too. Something about it is dizzying, almost, dragging him under and into it all.

Fingers pull him just a little closer and he follows willingly, tongue far more clumsy than his partner's. It brings the return of heat to his cheeks, but it's a good feeling. He's sure of that much. Every little noise he makes echoes that pleasure, until finally the other pulls away, just barely again.]

... ah?

[It takes him a moment to register the question, and he can't help but laugh somewhere amid short, slightly ragged breaths.]

No... not at all. It's... I liked it. I hope it didn't... seem otherwise. [He's a little worried. Dohalim clearly has more experience than him, after all...]

You didn't. I just don't want to push you into doing something you're not comfortable with.

[with reciprocated feelings, there really are so many things he wants to do. but Gepard's comfort comes first, of course; he cares too much for the man to just lead him into doing whatever it is he wants to do. Dohalim leans in again, this time brushing his lips against a flushed cheek, smiling gently]

I'll ask you to trust me, for a moment. If it's too much, you can step away, and I won't be offended. But just let me...

[shifting around on the couch, Dohalim gently guides Gepard to straddle his lap, to hold him close. he has to will himself to calm down some, not wanting to show any obvious sign of arousal. this might be pushing his comfort zone, which is why his hold is loose, in case the blond wants to push himself up and off him]

Is this alright?

Dohalim... I am old enough, I think, to be honest if I am uncomfortable.

[Gepard exhales a little laugh as he speaks, a faint shiver slipping down his back as lips brush a cheek. he only nods to the redhead's request, hands shifting and drawing back so they can move. it's... different, yes.

maybe it's just because he always assumed he would be in the opposite place, should be the one leading others. there's a sense of awkwardness in that... but once he pushes past it, being like this is nice. Dohalim is warm beneath him, and lifted like this he has to tilt his head down just slightly to keep looking at him. his hands move to rest on Dohalim's forearms, light and contented.]

... This is fine. I'm... ah. It's just new. If it isn't... too forward, I think I will continue following your lead.

[new, yes. embarrassing, yes. unwelcome? no, he can't say it's unwelcome. not when he can just let his fingers move absently, feeling along soft fabric and softer skin.]

Yes, this is true, but I still want to make sure. And I want you to be sure. You can stop me at any time.

[although, a part of him doesn't want Gepard to stop him. not when he's finally gotten him this close, not when he's finally gotten to kiss him. it's a little taste of heaven, as far as he's concerned, but if the man wants to stop, then of course Dohalim will. Gepard's considerations come first before his own pleasure.

but when he does settle in, Dohalim looks up at him with a soft, adoring smile, leaning in to kiss his chin]

Then do whatever it is you feel is comfortable. There are no wrong actions here.

[not when he just wants to feel Gepard's hands on him. his own hands slide up the man's back, fingers trailing along his spine, wanting to see what other reactions he can get out of him. when Dohalim leans in again, it's not to kiss Gepard, but to press his lips against the spot where his jaw and neck meet, before trailing kisses and very gentle nips along his neck. even if they stay like this, Dohalim is perfectly content with it]

Whatever I feel is comfortable...

[Really, he's asking a lot of him. Gepard has practically no idea where to go... but at least his nervousness and lack of experience is accepted. It's a little strange, too. Despite the fact that Dohalim is his Lord, that their positions make this an outright terrible choice, he's not even thinking of that. This isn't something that arose after their deployment, after all.

His thoughts are derailed when warm lips press to his neck, drawing out a soft gasp as they work their way toward his ear. It's a lot more sensitive than he expected - and rather it of instinct, a hand reaches up to thread into soft red hair, head tilting to offer access. As his eyelids flutter closed again, Gepard exhales a shivery sigh, his other hand finally moving to just... feel. Fingers slip beneath delicate fabric to glide along muscle and curves, finally taking in the form he's seen so often.

It would be a lie to say he doesn't admire it, the smooth, lean muscle of another close combat fighter. They're quite different in their personal styles, but... it's nice nonetheless. Even so, he does have... one little question that comes to mind among all this.]

How do you— mmh— focus on anything else when it feels— this nice?

[because he's doing his best, but his whole mind keeps wandering off elsewhere...]

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