eggbowl | In my blood...

In my blood...

[everything happened so quickly and so slowly, everything that happened is nothing but a haze in Dohalim’s mind. he isn’t sure what had transpired, all he can think about are the dredged up memories he’d spent so long suppressing, tamped down and never to be brought to light ever again. the despair had overtaken him, distant screams and thoughts of death clouding his thoughts as gleaming, liquid silver splashed into view. all he knew after that was unadulterated rage, wanting nothing more than to banish those with him, and to punish those who were responsible.

trails of blood and carnage followed Dohalim to the palace as he tore through any Renan in his path. they could no longer be trusted. the ideals of coexistence is now nothing but a burned up dream; he now sees their true colours. the Dahnans were not the ones at fault here, he could not blame them. but those who got in his way are pulled away by summoned vines as he continues his warpath.

blood splatters the pristine walls of Autelina Palace, an angry contrast to the calming whites, golds, blues and greens, crimson liquid staining the fresh plants and flowers lined up along the walls. countless times had he been met with Renan resistance, clearly those who are dissidents of his rule. they did not stand for very long. the audacity they had to stand up against a lord like him…

vines rip the doors open to his chambers where Kelzelik and his supporters huddle together, eyes widened to see Dohalim stand before them, rod in hand. words are not exchanged as those same vines wrap themselves around those who’d dare to oppose him, their pleas falling on deaf ears as they slowly squeeze the lives out of them. all, except Kelzelik, one of those who Dohalim had trusted the most. one who seemed to follow his every order, his every suggestion, his every dream for this realm. the blood on Dohalim’s hands are also on his former advisor’s, as he gestures to the men struggling around them]

You did this.

[Dohalim’s voice sounds strange even to him, hoarse and pained. maddened eyes stay on the man, standing unflinching as thorns burst from the vines and through those it’s ensnared. crimson blooms of roses blend with the blood as it drips from the petals as he puts to rest those who had tried to seize his realm.

when Dohalim is finally found, he’s still in his chambers, on his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself as hands grasp onto his shoulders, his breathing is ragged and erratic]

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[Dohalim shakes his head, trying to push himself off Zhongli, though with how much he's trembling at this point, all he does is lean heavily on him]

No, I need to...

[he needs to talk to this woman, he needs to know what she wants. he glances over at her, only to see vibrant green eyes staring back. there's a warmth to her gaze, much like the same warmth of her guidance; she smiles at him before speaking.

"You can take your time. I do not plan on going anywhere." her eyes shift to Zhongli, still warm and inviting. "It's been a while, Rex Lapis. Too long, in fact."

her words don't hold any admonishment; she's just merely stating fact. what with the changes of their own astral energies and governance over their respective elements, she's not surprised that Zhongli hadn't been able to find her. and she... well she's been tied to this spot, unable to leave]

As I said... we're in no rush.

[his smile is gently warm when he looks to her, head bowing forward.]

It has, Rukkhadevata. I had begun to worry that you had dwindled too far for my abilities.

[which ultimately may have been true, but Dohalim is a different circumstance. even now, he's gently guiding the Renan to come sit closer to her.]

I'm glad to see you're still well, after all this time.

[Rukkhadevata gestures to a patch of grass beside her, inviting Zhongli to bring Dohalim over to her. and when the other deity does, she'll tug him down so his head is resting in her lap. she'll also invite Zhongli to sit with her as well, wanting to catch up with her old friend.

"I am as well as I can be for being bound to my station." a choice she's made herself, of course; her voice is lighthearted. "I had wondered if you were able to hear me as well, but... It seems that in the centuries that have passed, our abilities have been altered beyond what we have already noticed." she glances down at Dohalim, smiling at his confused expression. "Luckily, this one here is in tuned with my astral energies as well."]

Who are--

[Dohalim falls silent as Rukkhadevata presses her hand gently against his forehead, the gesture just as soothing as her call out to him.

"I am Rukkhadevata. I suppose I could be considered the other half of the power held within your master core. As Rex Lapis governs over earth and stone, I govern over all flora on this planet."

that only answers a couple of Dohalim's questions; he's still confused as to why this deity is here, and why he was so drawn to her. maybe it does have something to do with his ability to wield earth astral energy, but... why him? why is it that he is so easily drawn to these gods, and them being drawn to him?

Rukkhadevata offers her warm smile and touch still, before turning her attention back up at Zhongli. "And I see you're as well as you can be, given the circumstances." her expression sobers a little. "How are you faring?"

she doesn't elaborate, but there's a hint of knowing there, as if she knows about the corruption]

[Zhongli settles near them both once he's sure Dohalim is settled comfortably. He doesn't fuss with the man too much, though his hands itch to ensure he's as comfortable as he can be.]

Originally, there were seven of us, making up the core elements of Dahna. [Zhongli clarifies it quietly, succinctly for him really.] when we each made the decision to let Dahna live on its own, we each chose how to fade from history. Rukkhadevata chose to remain here - to monitor the flow of information through the world, I believe?

[There's a small twitch to his lip when she asks how he's faring. It isn't that he expected her to miss anything, but it's something he's been keeping from Dohalim, so care must be taken.]

I am well, all things considered. My body has one again begun to absorb the latent energy of the world, after all. There are some complications, but nothing I can't handle.

[It's an omission wrapped smoothly in the reality of things, at least.]

[there's a part of Dohalim that wants to push himself away from this unknown deity, to ask further questions as to who she is, but with the hand on his forehead and her presence around him, Dohalim can't help but feel at ease around her. the scent of fresh grass and the trees around them fill his senses, and the gentle pulse of the earth soothe him, and for a moment, like the dream he had with Zhongli, the corruption is quelled and forgotten. there's a sense of normalcy that settles over him; he feels himself relax just a little more. though, wanting some of that contact from Zhongli, Dohalim does reach for him.

Rukkhadevata, on the other hand, looks at Zhongli with a subtly scrutinising stare, before looking back down at Dohalim. there will be plenty of time and other opportunities to talk to the older god about that which he's hiding.

"It's as he said. I'd chosen to settle here, to gather all knowledge known and unknown to the world. It had been my nature to retain all information of Dahana, much like it is Rex Lapis' nature to remember all that has passed."

she brushes her hand through Dohalim's hair, smile sympathetic.

"This must all be rather confusing for you, I can imagine."]

I suppose... I'm wondering how I've caught the attention of two of Dahna's deities if I myself am not Dahnan.

[there's a pause from the goddess there, so very brief that one could miss it, before letting out a soft hum. "It is a curious thing indeed. We govern most, but the will of the planet itself is one we do not."]

[Zhongli can't hide his smile when Dohalim reaches for him. There had been a small part of him that worried he would become irrelevant once things got going, but for now, there's still this.

His fingers thread between Dohalim's, warm and soft. An arm slips over his side, resting over a thigh.]

... moreover, it's important to remember that we have wills of our own. I know that my own attention was drawn by seeing your way of being over time.

["And I, myself, was drawn to your energy. Not your ability to wield our elemental powers, but your energy itself. It is... One of those things I could try to explain, but I feel it would confuse you more."

and there are certain things she isn't willing to divulge just yet; to her, it's not the right time. there are things she knows she'll have to tell Dohalim and Zhongli, but for now she'll keep it to herself.

"You have questions for me, I'm sure." Rukkhadevata asks the both of them, but it's more directed at Zhongli. "I will answer to the best of my ability, but there are some things I may not be able to answer."

her hand keeps stroking through Dohalim's hair, as if trying to coax him into sleeping. his fever doesn't go unnoticed by the deity, and once he sleeps, she'll be able to help him more. Dohalim, on the other hand, wants to know more about her, but the warmth between Rukkhadevata and Zhongli is making it hard for him to stay awake. eyes flutter closed for a moment, struggling to stay open]

Much of my own questions will likely be echoed by Dohalim. The first, I suppose, would be how long you've been trying to reach out to me.

[there's a soft chuckle as the Renan struggles with wakefulness, and he squeezes the young man's hand reassuringly.]

You can rest safely here, Dohalim. I'm sure Rukkhadevata will still answer your questions after you've slept. She'll be more able to help with your fever than I, as well.

[admittedly, it's something of a selfish comment too. there are things he himself is not prepared to share with Dohalim, things he needs to ask the Goddess in turn.]

["Rest now, my child. I will be able to help once you're asleep."

Dohalim wants to protest, he wants to stay awake, and tell Rukkhadevata that he's not a child, but with the gentle strokes in his hair, it's becoming more and more apparent that he won't be able to. but... if Zhongli says she'll be able to help, and if he trusts her enough to let him sleep, then he supposes he shouldn't argue.

so he lets himself succumb to sleep, his hold on Zhongli's hand laxing ever so slightly. it really is hard to resist it when there's a comfortable energy between the three of them.

Rukkhadevata waits in silence for a few moments, to make sure Dohalim really is asleep; her hand doesn't stop the gentle touches, as if trying to brush away his illness. worry subtly settles into her features as she looks up at Zhongli again.

"Before I answer your question, I would like to ask one of my own. How deep has the corruption settled in?"]

[Zhongli's hand remains where it was, even once he's asleep. the idea of being without him, especially after that last conversation scant days ago, is just... unpleasant. but, with his rest comes the more... difficult conversation, in truth.]

Not terribly, I think. It's... [there's a pause then, as Zhongli goes back through the conversations. the things he now knows.] I believe it's latching on to other underlying feelings, and so its manifestation appears deeper than it is.

[the goddess ponders on that for a moment, before nodding slowly. "I'd been trying to reach you for quite some time now. However, the taint in Dohalim's body and mind have blocked me from reaching out to you until now. As to why now, that is a question even I cannot answer."

her hands glow softly as she places her hand on Dohalim's forehead again; healing energy to cut his fever.

"Now, I will ask again. How are you faring? There is no doubt that you've been touched by corruption as well."

the truth comes out; with the small connection she has to Dohalim, rooted deeply with the past that she's unwilling to talk about just yet, it's hard for her not to notice their bond threading between each other. but with that as well, she can also feel the darkness drawn between the two of them, and just how much Zhongli is trying to tamp down within the mortal.

"And please be honest. I will not be able to help if you hide anything from me."

all of the gods had and has their reasons to hide things from each other, but this, she hopes, will be an instance of Zhongli giving her enough information to go off by, and that he won't be blocked by some form of contract]

[he was careful enough, at least, to avoid any potential breaches of contract. having intended to seek her out in the first place, it would only have made things more difficult.]

I... am faring acceptably. My previous experience with such corruption allows me to avoid its influence, to a degree. It's more difficult in this human form, but as you no doubt surmised, it's not currently an option to change whilst in Menancia.

[ever has he known the truth of her - perhaps more than the other gods had, even. very, very little is beyond the scope of her understanding, and she's a keeper of history in many ways beyond his own ability.]

Corruption isn't something worth being dishonest about. Its ability to find the smallest of weaknesses is profound, after all. I... have found myself more irritable than I'm used to, more prone to the violence I displayed in my... younger years. It's difficult to tell how much of that is protectiveness and how much is influenced.

[he does fail to mention the feelings of guilt in Dohalim's lowest moments, partly because he finds them embarrassing and partly because they feel so much like his own thoughts that he doesn't think about it.]

["Hm... I would tread carefully, if the boundary between protectiveness and influence is a blurred line. Especially if it becomes easy to mistaken one for the other."

there's an unreadable look in Rukkhadevata's eyes as she assesses the older god in front of her. to slide back into old ways, to settle things not with words but with fists, this worries her.

"You must remember that even the sturdiest of rock whittles down with time." an allusion to Zhongli's impending erosion; it's not to scare him, but to serve exactly as she says: a reminder. "You need not take on everything by yourself."]

[in the end, it's all difficult. the fact that the corruption manages to be this subtle is most likely only because there's so little of it staining him yet - but it's fine. he has no plans to fall to it, no matter what.]

I am, yes. But-- that, I have not forgotten. It still feels like I never will.

[as much as he knows he will eventually erode, eventually lose himself to the chaotic, harsh nature of his origins...]

Now that we have found you, I certainly have more options. I haven't any intention of leaving him so soon in any case.

[quietly, he stares down at Dohalim, watching his sleeping face for a moment. it's painfully obvious, in that moment of "weakness," to see just how deeply he cares for the Renan. he really is becoming sentimental in his old age.]

[she watches the both of them for a moment, piecing together their relationship. it really is clear that this is more than just a human and god bound together because of astral energy. there's something deeper, much deeper than Zhongli wants to admit, or even know.

"Mortal life is fleeting... If the both of you truly are so bound to each other, you mustn't forget that."

Rukkhadevata knows just how much Zhongli's lost in the past that it serves as another warning. but behind it is something else that she hints at, something that even she herself isn't admitting. no matter, it's not all that important, right now.

"Have you told him how you feel about him?"]

Life as a whole is fleeting, after all.

[He doesn't know what he'll do, in the end. It's just been too long, and he's always had a habit of ignoring or outright denying himself the things he wants emotionally.

The followup question pulls his attention back to her, a faint frown pulling at his lips.]

Not in so many words, I suppose... I thought that my words were rather clear recently, but... I also don't wish to influence him somehow.

[does he actually think Dohalim doesn't like him? Even with all the awkward moments of obsessive possession so far?]

["I sincerely doubt he has any worry of being influenced into reciprocating feelings. He was the one who reached out to you moments before, after all."

the goddess' eyes shift down to Dohalim's and Zhongli's hands; the bond between them is something that seems so sweet to her, despite what had brought them together. if only the old god can see that there is a silver lining to all of this, one that he should embrace.

with her free hand, Rukkhadevata brushes her fingers along Zhongli's cheek, before cupping it gently. green peers into golden amber, into eyes that have seen even more than she has, eyes that have lived through countless generations.

"You have been just as alone as he has. When was the last time you've had a companion?"]

Through our contract, I've been able to give him moments of peace, by his own admission. It's natural to reach for the things that bring you such things, isn't it?

[of course, she's hardly going to stop there. A hand cups his cheek and he allows it, the ambient fuzz of everything fading away a little. The reality is... surprising, perhaps.

In those eyes, in this man who has witnessed so much, is fear. Regret. He would never change the things that he's done, but in so doing, the prospect of having something, lasting or not.]

I... [how long has it been? He'd rarely felt the need for it, deliberately chosen not to dwell on it all... it stalls him a moment, before he exhales a soft, wry laugh.] in the way of which you speak... it was well before our first meeting. I have rarely felt the need to pursue such a thing, given my role before.

[but it stings, clearly. To think back on it and know all the compounding reasons he's chosen not to pursue it when the tug did arise... to know that he's still intending to do the same damn thing now...]

[Rukkhadevata had always prided herself on being the most patient out of the seven of them, listening to mad ramblings that lead to nowhere, and bearing witness to even the most frustrating of situations. all times, she had been calm and collected, offering her own thoughts and suggestions when they were welcome, or even just offered an ear in the times where one would get something off their chest.

and like those times, she doesn't show frustration at Zhongli. not when she can see what swirls in those eyes. it's so rare to think of a man who's done so much, who's done things that most would wilt at, would have that hint of fear and regret hidden away, but she does suppose that even those who carry immense strength would be scared of something in their lives.

"You are just as stubborn as you are sturdy like the rock you wield." of course, she can't help but insert that small tease in there. "You do not have the same role and duties imposed on you like before. My suggestion is to follow what is in here, rather than what is in your head."

she drops her hand to press against Zhongli's chest, her touch light and warm.]

[if he's honest, he doesn't know what to do with that information. not her little tease - gods forbid he doesn't know how stubborn he is. but the idea of following his heart, knowing what it can lead to... no, it's not an easy choice by any means.

for all she knows, and all she doesn't know, that's true. it's terrifying to let himself be earnest about all of it, even with himself.]

Haha... you are wise as ever, Rukkhadevata. [it's a small concession, but it certainly is one.] I shall... take it under consideration. I do wonder if he wouldn't prefer someone better able to understand him, though.

[as if he doesn't really understand, even if he can't offer the words of solace someone like Rukkhadevata could.]

[Rukkhadevata is still as patient as ever; perhaps in her past dealings with Zhongli when he was Rex Lapis had given her the experience of navigating around such stubbornness.

"I think you would find that worry to be unfounded. You understand enough to know what he's going through. You've witnessed this corruption in the past, and will provide support for when Dohalim needs it. In turn, he will provide you with companionship."

trailing her eyes back down on the sleeping Renan on her lap, she hums to herself in thought. "As he and I have reconnected, I can offer my own wisdom and words where you feel you fall short on. Like I've said, you do not have to take on everything by yourself anymore."

it's a particular choice of word in regards to Rukkhadevata's and Dohalim's connection; as if it's been established in the past. she doesn't elaborate, and won't, unless Zhongli questions it]

Perhaps that's so. It's also not... entirely dissimilar to others I have met.

[others who yet live, he knows, shrouded in silence and hidden away from the world. like Xiao, for whom he had once become an escape from his circumstance. but even so...]

I will keep it in mind. But-- reconnected? What do you mean?

[it's a suspicious word choice to be sure, implying that it's nothing new. Zhongli can't help but latch onto it, lips pursing slightly. everything that's happened is just... so strange, more than he could ever have expected.]

[she pauses for a moment to make sure that Dohalim is still asleep, before nodding. there are some things she doesn't wish to reveal to the Renan just yet, especially when not formally discussed.

"Ah, perhaps my phrasing wasn't the best, but surely, you've noticed?" another pause before she continues. "There is more to Dohalim than meets the eye. While... Renans can be rather skilled in using astral energy, there are some that emerge with skill that only some dream about. Even with the Lords--" she huffs out the word stiffly. "--There have been a few who possessed incomprehensable strength and ability."

as she looks down at Dohalim, her face softens, almost endeared by the man in her lap. "He doesn't need to use his master core to display such power. He is aware of it, but yet, he doesn't show it. Perhaps it's not a matter of reconnecting with him personally, but with his lineage. I can feel old magic in him, from the dawn of the mages who walked this land. From the mages who showed devotion to me."]

[Zhongli nods in turn; he's fully aware of how important it is to not tell someone everything, especially when it's a case like this. still... even though he can bear the truth of it, has seen it and felt it himself, the simple idea that this man truly is of that lineage, and so close to his old roots...]

I have noticed, yes. It was... part of why I made my contract with him, only to promptly begin looking for you. His aptitude for both of our halves of the respective energy is unusual even among the old mages.

[his expression softens, warm but a little sad, and for a moment he allows himself to pull Dohalim's hand into his lap, to feel more of his arm against his body. maybe the Renan isn't the only one who's grown addicted to the feeling.]

His lineage... yes, that may be it. Though I saw no reason to manifest before now, I did occasionally feel similar tugs from his predecessors, but they had also grown cynical and greedy. Meanwhile, Dohalim can hardly find it in himself to blame anyone but himself for whatever happens.

[the noise he makes is absolutely exhausted - it's pretty clear that's another spot where he just... can't help Dohalim. no amount of historical evidence will help clear away that anguish.]

["He is... A soft soul. I think, if given the opportunity, he would display much of the curiosity many of those mages have shown. He is, without a doubt, one of their children."

Rukkhadevata can hear the exhaustion in Zhongli's voice; all she can offer him is a sympathetic glance. "There is... So much that lies beneath the surface when it comes to Dohalim. even with them as gods, she's not sure how much they really can help without taking drastic measures. and even with the corruption dispelled, would Dohalim be able to move on from the past? the goddess prides herself in her knowledge of all things, but this is something even she is unsure of. she doesn't voice this worry out loud, not wanting to concern Zhongli. though, she also has hope that the both of them can navigate through this together successfully.

"As for his predecessors, and the Renan people as a whole... It is rather disappointing to see them become so power hungry and greedy. If only they are aware of where they come from, what their history is..."

Rukkhadevata isn't sure if the Renans will ever come to realise their roots. and if they did, how will they fare? will they accept it as truth? or cast it away as lies? how will Dohalim take it?]

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Page 17 of 34

In my blood...

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