ilqaras: (pic#15232448)
Dohalim Melqal il Qaras Na'amo ([personal profile] ilqaras) wrote in [community profile] eggbowl2022-07-28 07:07 am

[Dohalim/Zhongli] You're standing next to me...

[it started out as vague dreams of what seemed to be a lifetime ago. something so foreign and yet familiar. even in his dreams, he can almost feel it, taste it, smell it. like warm stone on a summer’s day, like a strong embrace holding him steady. and in every dream, he sees the same person with golden eyes and a soft smile and all he can feel is a warm fondness for them.

who is he, Dohalim would ask himself, as he would reach out to him.

and that point is when his dream would turn into a nightmare; in a flash, all he can see is carnage, and that person who he’d felt that fondness for would look at him with a frenzied fire in those golden pools, his face contorted into what seems to be pure, unadulterated rage. why… he can feel the fear piercing his heart, along with a certain pain he can’t quite put his finger on, that he has to watch this man fall into his wrath and despair.

”My apologies…” he remembers saying, before he would wake up with a start, brow damp with sweat as he would sit up in his bed. at first, that dream wasn’t nearly as frequent, but now, it seems like it’s occurring every night. what does it mean? who is that man in his dreams?

what happened?

come morning, however, that dream becomes a passing thought, as it usually does, as he starts his day. it’s only a dream; he doesn’t need to dwell on it.

there had been reports of a sudden spike of astral energy in Traslida Highway, one that Dohalim had taken upon himself to investigate (much to the chagrin of his guardsmen). if it has anything to do with earth astral energy, who better than the lord whose affinity of that very element? if anything goes wrong, he would be the most capable of containing it, at least. what mattered most is that the citizens of his realm are safe.

but it’s strange, as he walks out of Viscint, that he doesn’t need to be told where the anomaly is. he can… almost hear a quiet whisper, indiscernible in its words, but pulling him towards where he needs to go. it’s as if he’s lost all autonomy of his body, falling into a sort of trance, but the pull doesn’t feel malicious in its intent. in fact, it feels almost as familiar as the feeling in his dreams; he has to wonder why that is.

as he approaches the new rock formation in the Tietal Plains, Dohalim strains to listen to guardsman speaking to him; something about how it had appeared overnight, and that they had deployed a small platoon to stop anyone from entering it. but the whispers nearly drown him out, beckoning Dohalim to walk through the portal. it’s reckless, he knows, to walk into something without even an inkling of what awaits on the other side, but nothing in him tells him to stop as he steps forward towards the barrier. he holds a hand up, as if to feel the energy radiating off it, and before anyone could pull him back, Dohalim steps forward. he hears one of the guards call out his name, only for it to be muted once he’s on the other side.

just where is he…?]
geocash: (♪One without a name)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-07-30 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
[in time, Morax will come to see all of Dohalim - the duality of his consciousness and the plight therein. here and now, his eyes haven't yet even fully adjusted to sight, focused only on that small, warm presence he'd almost forgotten. it helps to solidify the pieces, to fill the remaining cracks that had, at one point, kept him so far from this form and value of sense.

the other kneels down and begins with apologies, and he exhales what just might be a laugh. it's rough and gravelly, wrought with disuse and a touch of something else as fingers work through his hair, trail up to his horns.]


Hush... hush. [head turning, he nuzzles his lips into Dohalim's hand, soft and warm.] I have missed you, my treasure. I told you I would wait forever... but I missed you.

[with the remainder of his sanity he'd promised that, broken free in those critical moments. he's starting to recollect himself, to come to question the other things - the passage of time. the reality of mortality, and where they are now. in this moment it's not enough to bring the questions to his lips, but perhaps that's also steeped in the selfish wish to just... have his lover back. can he really be blamed for not wanting to break the spell yet?]
geocash: (♫I'm your chain reaction)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-07-30 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[for a moment, his eyes close as Dohalim's forehead rests against his own. he's so warm, and it's a little amazing to him how much he missed it. there's melancholy there, as there must be after so much time...

he really will never change, Morax thinks. hundreds of years and countless reincarnations, and he's still just like this. his sweet, gentle treasure, so prone to taking the pain of the world unto himself. there's part of the brunette that wants to simply pull him forward, to lean in and hold him until that fretting dies out, until he's sure there's not a breath of concern left. that may take forever, though, and he soothes his own wishes with a simple press of lips to Dohalim's, a brush of fingers to draw away the tears welling in his honeyed gaze.]


Melqal... you are still a worrier, I see. You did what you must, and I would have accepted no less. What I was... what I had become... [there's a weary, shuddering sigh. he can still remember, may never forget. a hand rises, warm and gentle, to press against the other man's chest.] I had hoped you wouldn't have to recall any of it.

I must admit... I've lost track of the centuries. In some ways, I fear this has been harder on you than on me.

[he'll spare him the details. comparatively, remembering what bits and pieces he does isn't nearly as devastating as whatever his beloved may have suffered. being sealed had its upsides, when it came to how much he'd had to deal with. and-- moreover, now he takes a moment to really look at Dohalim, at who his Melqal has become.]

Time has changed much, but you look well. [a pause, something akin to concern there in his eyes. energy, particularly astral energy, has a funny way of guiding life forward, he knows. he may still be simply Melqal, but it's equally possible there'd been some kind of schism, and if his senses aren't mistaken... it's more likely to be the latter than the former. two pieces of the same whole, truly, coexisting with or without knowledge of one another. even if he's wrong, the next question is of utmost import.] What is your name, now?
geocash: (♪You don't ever find yourself)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-07-31 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Fate... is certainly an oddity.

[it's something he's never truly talked about; Morax has a complex relationship with things like fate, to the point that perhaps he struggles to believe in it. something about being no more than astral energy, that. but as Melqal squeezes his hand, working slowly through his own memory, his own history... his presence remains there, warm and uninterruptive, expression soft and wry. honestly, it's been too long, hasn't it?

but then there is the other matter at hand. a new name, and no doubt a new life. Morax shows no hesitation in watching him, a smile drawing across his face.]


Dohalim... [it's funny, how sweet a name can feel on his tongue. just the same as Melqal's, a reminder that they are the same - even if there's a difference in entity.] It's good to finally meet you, Dohalim.

[he wants to ask how much is shared, but... one thing at a time. still waking up to himself as he is, he doesn't have a clue how difficult this might be for either side.]
geocash: (♫As a work of artistry)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-02 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
[It unfolds in degrees, as Morax watches quietly. A single answering nod, and he has to wonder -- what is the state of the world, under all of this? Moreover, what must this man have gone through to keep so silent? He's no fool, and he's not unobservant.

Hands move, and the brunette shifts his weight, tail curling at his side. So then, it's complicated. How to best proceed from here....? Perhaps, he supposes, straight to the heart of it. Melqal himself had ever been a bleeding heart, giving to the point of self-destruction. It seems that these two share that... if he's reading it right.]


... If you are entertaining thoughts of simply suffering silently, Dohalim, I would suggest that you reconsider. It is... endlessly selfish of me to ask your patience, but I am asking anyway. [His expression softens as he speaks, weight with gentle understanding.] It is clear that this situation is... strange, but I am sure you would both agree that it is appalling to be forced into something that makes you uncomfortable at best.

If you would allow it, I have every intention of learning of you as well, Dohalim. Perhaps, in so doing, we will find a suitable compromise for all involved.
geocash: (♪My loving heart lost in the dark)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-02 10:19 am (UTC)(link)
[were it Melqal, it would have been easier to decide what to do. after all, their relationship itself had been much more established, and it wouldn't feel odd to just be a little... selfish, he supposes. but it's not, and that gives him pause.

indeed, what history must this young man have fallen upon that he's so ready to give up on himself? Rena has never been perfect, but this...]


... do you think that opinion is shared by anyone here past yourself, Dohalim?

[the words are stern, but not cold, and the knit of the man's brows echoes his concern. his hands remain laced in front of him, partly because he's not confident he wouldn't reach out and shaketouch Dohalim otherwise.]

I know not what history you've beheld to make you so eager to run away from it, but I do not believe life is so inconsequential that one should simply give it up. I recognise that I cannot force you to do anything, but you have continued to live on thus far, so I can see no benefit to the loss of such a tenacious individual. ... If nothing else, it does seem that you can ask Melqal his thoughts on the matter as it stands.

[as someone who, for the most part, cannot die, he can acknowledge his own bias. his mistakes will never fade into obscurity, and the option to simply disappear from the forefront of it... well, it's ludicrous. maybe that's why it takes him a moment to find all the words, to soften the edges of them just enough to bear his disappointment without turning to ridicule.]
geocash: (♪More beautiful but I don't see it at al)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-02 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
[to the one I killed. it certainly puts things into perspective, lips curling faintly. it's a wry expression, to say the least.]

An obligation is certainly a powerful tool.

[his voice softens then, and this time he does reach forward, placing a hand over Dohalim's own. it's light, easily brushed off or pulled away from, but it is most certainly there.]

I apologise. It seems that there are still some... lingering aches in my own history. But I have found that life is not so bleak as we think, no matter our past mistakes, and simply forgetting them is just too easy. [and oh, does he ever know that. inhaling a slow breath, he shifts his weight to test the idea of getting up, legs stretching out slowly.] I can offer nothing more than condolences and an ear, of course. If your decision is to simply disappear, then I have no recourse for that.

But... I wonder, then, why you were the one to find me? Perhaps you don't want to die as much as you believe. Perhaps ambition, for you, is not as simple as the whims of Renan culture. I don't know your history, so I can hardly do more than guess. I simply suspect that you and Melqal are not nearly so far removed as you think, in self nor in your... insufferably bleeding heart.

[insufferably, he says, with such warmth to his voice that it's clearly a frustration borne of love.]
geocash: (♪The pages two and three)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-02 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[in truth, Morax had simply been thinking aloud. It's true enough, all of it, and yet... overwhelming, clearly. Earthen energy is, after all, a source of life. Of course it's reasonable that it might have something to do with everything, but that requires one's willingness to listen.

... moreover, there are those words. Tired, frustrated. Painfully lucid in a way that at once twists in his chest and feels entirely too familiar.]


... ah...

[Dohalim may not be his beloved, but the thought of him coming to harm-- the thought of everything just ending in some abrupt way tears at his thoughts. Of course, that's only another fault, isn't it? He can feel so much and still his words can fall so...]

It is... a complex issue, clearly.

[even with Melqal speaking again, with his same, gentle countenance taking over, Morax can't completely recover.

How many times had he pleaded, back then? Struggling for a lucid moment so that he could stop, so that he wouldn't...]


... is it really such an... acceptable thought, for him? [how much had that one life meant? How much more was missing from this narrative?] Perhaps... perhaps it was still too early. For this.

[for him. He struggles with the man's plight in a way that's perhaps completely hypocritical for a creature who just called another a bleeding heart. His gaze is unsure, lips pressed together into a thin line.]

I have... forgotten most of the details over the years, but he reminds me of the beginning. When you gave me pause in my heartlessness. [When he was just another symbol of destruction, power to be wielded. It hadn't been a swift change by any means.] Forgive me, Melqal. It seems I yet lack the passion of your verbiage. I fear, more than that, that it's deteriorated in the darkness. I...

[His hands shift, hesitating now. It's an old habit, one he hasn't realised exists, let alone how hypocritical it is.]

... what would you recommend, Melqal? I've no memory of this place and its layout, but I... I would like to leave it.

[and to get the other man out of it, honestly.]
geocash: (♪If you keep my thoughts)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-03 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
I see. It is... understandable, then.

[Melqal had indeed been different; Morax himself had been far wilder and less trusting, carrying with him a flagrant disregard for mortal life. Warped from the constant misuse of his astral energy, he can still remember how long it took to shake him free from that.]

... perhaps I was mistaken in whom he shares traits with, then. The fates...

[The fates again. Mortals are ever so focused on that, on the idea that their lives are simply meant to be this way. It seems too sad, to him. To think that all of those years of abuse and unkindness were just meant to be, for himself and Dohalim and Melqal all - it's just too sad.

He's quiet as the other recounts a little of Dohalim's history, hands curled around the redhead's in turn. Here and there he pauses to ask questions, mostly to put Elde Menancia of the current years into perspective or to clarify something he doesn't have any logical memory for.

When the retelling ends and he suggests they leave, there's a soft, appreciative smile that blooms over his face.]


Then let us go. I am curious to see what this land has become with the passage of time. And... I hope to hear more about it, as well. For now-- I will follow.

[leaning on Melqal for a start, Morax rises to his feet and lets his tail shift to wrap around his lover's waist. It feels as comforting as it is familiar, sweet. This place, now that he really sees it, is indicative of what they had become, isn't it? Shared energy lighting the path, even with the circumstances being what they had been.]
geocash: (♪All I wish is to dream again)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-03 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[the progression of Rena's cruelty is something he anticipates, at least. Morax is hardly foolish enough to believe that the race has changed all that much at its core, especially when even they had run into so many conflicts that it feels like a matter of course. more still since Dohalim was... well, as he is.

for now, the elemental is trying not to think on that subject. it will be something to learn in time, as always, and he's much more focused on the individual-- two individuals-- here in his presence. there is no rush, even if Dohalim is so intent on leaving himself aside for the good of Melqal and Morax. it didn't sound like the young man's tenure as the Lord of Elde Menancia was anywhere near complete, after all.]


Ah... I'm fine.

[he's especially fine with the way a hand cradles his tail, bringing rise to nigh endless memories of quiet, warm nights just basking in one another's presence. his feet are a little unsteady, but not nearly as much as one would expect, for how long he had been sealed. that fact hardly stops him from leaning on Melqal, reaching up to brush fingers through his hair. it's interesting, seeing the differences in Dohalim's body - the mark of time's passage, and of descendants besides. and it's too bad, he thinks, that Dohalim should think himself so unworthy of anything. with a kind face and a kind heart, he can only imagine...]

I can do anything, so long as you're here with me. [bunting his cheek against Melqal's, he shores himself up and takes a tentative step forward.] Shall we?
geocash: (♫A phantom divine)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-04 10:34 am (UTC)(link)
[It's a show, steady progress, easier that he expected really. Having someone to lean on helps immensely, after all. Someone he's missed, waited for in silence...

But it's not so simple as that, either. Not as harmless as a single soul inhabiting a vessel. And he's already found that he's not very good at speaking to the other half of this body... but Melqal's question somehow comes as a surprise.]


Melqal...

[He hasn't changed a bit. Morax finds it a relief really, and he curls his tail a little tighter around the other man. It's a gentle reassurance.]

... it is ultimately up to him, but I have no intention of just giving up on him. As I said to him, it is... a difficult circumstance, but I would like to know more about him.

[There's part of him that thinks it might be easier if he hadn't ever awakened, if he'd just been lost to the elements in the end. He's glad it wasn't that way, but still.]

I had the same feeling. Whatever he went through, I... well. You know as well as I why I think it's important to... see that he knows that he's more than his past.

[If that wasn't true, Morax knows he wouldn't be the way he is now. He certainly wouldn't have had someone willing to both deal him away and return besides.]

I will not promise it would be the same, but I suspect it wouldn't be... that different. Simply listening to him, there was a sense of familiarity, before.

[The entrance is drawing nearer now, he thinks. That's good... at the very least, it'll be nice to feel the sun again.]
geocash: (♪Lay it on another shelf)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-05 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe I would wonder who you had become were it any other way, my treasure. In truth, I do not think he wants to die as much as he thinks.

[there again, Morax gives a soft response, telltale and mild, as they go. now, there is time to consider how to proceed - from the way to handle Dohalim himself to Morax's own personality. there's always a chance they won't be compatible, but isn't it the least he can do to try?

it's such a strange circumstance. living, or living again, through the sense of another - a rarity, to say the least. even in all his years, Morax has heard of it only very occasionally, usually from those too bound up in their duty or so deeply in love that it re-wove the very fabric of reality. a kindness of fate, one might say. in any case, there had never been extensive documentation about those souls inhabiting bodies with another soul already within them. perhaps it's yet another twist of that selfsame fate, a chance veiled in hardship and effort...?

Melqal slows and steps before him and Morax is brought from his thoughts, blinking once at the question. his appearance...]


... Ah. I... believe I... remember how.

[closing his eyes, the man inhales a slow breath, gathering up astral energy to do just that. it takes a moment, recalling how to interact with the ambient energy of the world (or in this case, the lingering energy they had both shared, so long ago). when he does, there's an all-too-familiar golden glow, winding its way in ancient symbols over the entirety of the astral embodiment's body. horns and tail shimmer and shatter into dust, bright little remnants that dim as they reach the floor.

his clothes don't change - the robe is still tight enough to be fitting, and honestly, if they have a problem with his clothes when Melqal-- Dohalim brings him out of the space, Morax might just have some questions for them.

in the end, the faint glow of his eyes fades enough that it's difficult to notice at a glance, and he's left with a form that's similarly regal, if less... alarming. Pale and slender, hair a bit more tamed, all the way down to the orange highlight under his eyes. Melqal has seen it before, of course, in rare cases where it was necessary.]


They always have been so... wary, haven't they? I can only imagine what they'll think of me as it is, brought out from such a place as this.
geocash: (♪And thieve my wisdom)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-06 02:33 pm (UTC)(link)
So they have.

[he supposes it's a measure of mortality. fear and hesitation in the face of something that they don't understand, anything that could be harmful to their normal ways of life...

there's nothing to say one way or the other, of course. just like the reality of the astral spirits, and of himself and his name. would they remain the same? should he risk that? although... even if he didn't, what pseudonym would he be able to give himself?

Melqal - Dohalim, he corrects himself quickly - pulls his hand away with a speed that's almost achingly sad, then steps back to address the barrier. one step at a time, he supposes.]


... Yes. More than, I would say.

[his response is quiet, and now his own gaze turns to the barrier. the last vestiges of separation between himself and the light. and, by the Renan's own admission, a likely retinue of guardsmen. the instinct to fight is never far from him, but Morax shelves it now. no sense in causing undue alarm.]
geocash: (♪Would you trust in me?)

[personal profile] geocash 2022-08-07 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[Morax is indeed shortly behind, taking in a slow, easy breath as fresh air shifts about them. it's-- different, that much is certain. it makes perfect sense, of course. no country would remain perfectly preserved while rulers come and go and life continues on, but... his attention drifts briefly to it all, lips pressed together before he turns to the guards.

there's no fear in him, nor anything intimidating. really, he stands almost like a rock, silent as Dohalim handles his own men. their wariness, Morax thinks, is a good thing. better they care enough to protect their sovereign than otherwise, no? it paints a picture of the man himself especially, seeing Dahnans and Renans alike in this circumstance. and... it swells his heart a little, when Dohalim stands before him.

he has to wonder, though, how likely an assassination plot is for Dohalim to deal with. the man doesn't seem to think himself worthy of much, and yet it's so clear that others revere him for his choices - and equally clear that, undoubtedly, others will resent him for that. Renans as a whole don't like the idea of equality. it's just something he'll have to see play out, really, as things continue. on top of how to handle the ruler himself and whatever the man is willing to offer him of his time, he's a bit lost in thought.]

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