[Zhongli/Venti] Where do I go...?

[moradigging]

[it began with subtle shifts, meaningless memories fading from his mind. memories that mean little compared to others, memories that could be left forgotten, and not missed. to the normal person, to a normal mortal, this would not be so worrisome.

they slip from Zhongli's fingers, even though he doesn't realise he's let them. the more important memories still stay in his mind; a few short, small ones from his six thousand years of life don't affect him so. it isn't to say they aren't important at all, but how can someone measure importance in something... when one cannot recall it? so forgotten, they are left, like the past itself.

it is said that the first thing people often forget is the voice of a passed loved one. perhaps that was the first real warning of erosion. the first sign that something truly is wrong. the memories of his closest companions still lingered, but their voices muted, faded into silence. he'd told the traveler that once that door had opened, it was time to leave. but much like his decision to step down as Liyue's archon, is he truly ready to do so...?

but it had happened so quickly, shortly after that. memories themselves, more of them, slip from his mind, like grains of sand in an hourglass, lost to the world. lost to his world. important ones, this time, ones that he held close to his heart. it makes him lose sense of himself, of who he'd grown to be from his experiences; it's as if time moves backwards, but all that is lost still is. it plunges him into a dark recess, where his primal instincts take over-- there is only one rational thought that remains. he must leave Liyue Harbour.

honestly, he's not sure how he managed to make his way down the mineshafts of the Chasm, or why he's here. perhaps, once the erosion fully taken him, this may be the safest place for him to be, to minimise the casualties. to allow himself to be alone. he only vaguely remembers alerting Xiao of this, but what he had said, he cannot recall.

and among all of this, there is fear. not fear for himself, for the inevitability of his own fate, but the fear of what he could do, and what he won't remember doing. as he delves deeper into the Chasm, it does nothing to quell the fear. and that fear only fuels that primal urge, to keep himself alone, to keep anyone away]

Comments

[notgrande]

[ Word gets to one quickly when they're as nosy as Venti is inclined to be. And even though historically contact with his old friend had been sporadic at best, he still intended to keep up with the other's life as much as possible. Things can happen, and he knows it, but when it had been far longer than normal since he had heard from Zhongli, he got himself involved. It's when he asked questions, made himself start looking.

He followed the path. It had been a long time that he had put this much effort into finding someone.

People were usually seeking him out. People who want him to play, the odd individual who he maybe owed a little money to, or friends seeking his advice and counsel. He made himself available to them. He made himself available to Zhongli.

As long as the other man wanted him to be.

He hadn't really expected that his weeks of looking and asking questions would bring him to Xiao, who had a kind of answer that he needed, and then to the Chasm. (He hated bothering Xiao. As much as he cared for him and his safety, Venti didn't like disrupting actual important work.) It wasn't exactly a place he'd make the choice to go, but he spent this effort trying to find him, why would he stop here? It would be a waste. ]

What are you hiding from? Little old me?

[ He says it as he gets to a mineshaft. He knows it's not about him. He's making light because the alternative is letting it bother him. ]

[moradigging]

[there's an irony, Zhongli thinks to himself, as he finally settles in a cave deep within the depths. but as to why him being in the Chasm is so ironic is lost on him; ah, another memory that's fogged from his view. another reason why this place is the safest for everyone. perhaps if he can seal himself in here; it wouldn't be hard to cause a cave in--

Venti's voice pulls Zhongli's attention away from his thoughts. golden eyes peer into the dim cavern, at the short man in front of him. he's familiar, at least... but not company he wants, right now]

Barbatos...

[Zhongli's voice sounds low and gravelly, like stone gnashing against each other. he doesn't move from his spot, sat cross-legged in a little groove of rock. to anyone, it could look like he's relaxed, meditative almost, but to the former archon, it's a sign of concession. that this erosion had finally caught up to him, and that it's an inevitable downfall. and, for some reason, he doesn't want Venti here to see it]

...You should not be here.

[notgrande]

[ He doesn't really need to answer Venti's question. The answer is written all over Zhongli. From the way his voice sounds the moment Zhongli hears the other say his name, to the way that the other is carrying himself. It's not that Zhongli is just avoiding him, it's that something is terribly wrong. He hadn't gotten every detail, but he can start to draw his own conclusions while here.

Why would the other not have called upon him the moment he knew what was happening? Did he not think that an old friend would want to be by his side? Did he not think someone who cared for him as deeply as Venti did would want to know what he was going through? Did he think Venti couldn't bear to witness it?

Sure, Venti is tender-hearted most of the time. But like all of those who live as long as he has, he has his fair share of pain. ]

Should not? Or do you not want me here? Why wouldn't your dear old friend want to be here?