[he shouldn't say it. not in front of both deities, even though he wants to scream it out, to get it off his chest. to tell the both of them that he doesn't want to live this way, that he doesn't want to be used by this corruption. it's too much, it's all too much at this point.
bringing both of his hands up, he presses his palms against his face as he tilts his head down. it's all so overwhelming. and the expectation of having to just... accept this and live with it, when there's a chance that he can hurt more people, despite the contract...]
I... Can't do this. I can't do this...
[he dissolves into a small mantra, repeating the words to himself softly. Rukkhadevata's heart feels like it's breaking as she watches Dohalim break down like this, and she wonders if she should go ahead with cleansing him of the corruption in the only way she knows how to. but... without even discussing it with Zhongli, she can't go ahead with it, especially not when she wants to find a different way to do so. she... wants to watch Dohalim thrive, to see what a descendant of her mages is truly capable of.
but to see one of her children like this... the temptation is there. to just do it, and fix everything for him. it hurts, not being able to just explain this pain away for him with her knowledge. for once, she doesn't know what to do, or what to say]
no subject
bringing both of his hands up, he presses his palms against his face as he tilts his head down. it's all so overwhelming. and the expectation of having to just... accept this and live with it, when there's a chance that he can hurt more people, despite the contract...]
I... Can't do this. I can't do this...
[he dissolves into a small mantra, repeating the words to himself softly. Rukkhadevata's heart feels like it's breaking as she watches Dohalim break down like this, and she wonders if she should go ahead with cleansing him of the corruption in the only way she knows how to. but... without even discussing it with Zhongli, she can't go ahead with it, especially not when she wants to find a different way to do so. she... wants to watch Dohalim thrive, to see what a descendant of her mages is truly capable of.
but to see one of her children like this... the temptation is there. to just do it, and fix everything for him. it hurts, not being able to just explain this pain away for him with her knowledge. for once, she doesn't know what to do, or what to say]