Fahria certainly made it apparent that she's angry at me.
[the words of hatred and unforgiveness spat at him still rings in his ears, clear as if she'd just thrown them at him mere moments before. it hurt. it hurt to hear them. it hurt to see the disappointed gaze in Avakhir's eyes behind his glasses, and the silence that accompanied it. their backs turning away from him before he'd descended down to Dahna, without so much as another word.
the both of them knew that he and Tarnigen had to be pitted against each other like this. they also knew what it all meant. Dohalim had promised them that, if it came down to it, he would stop his and Tarnigen's duel if it seemed like the man couldn't continue. that he would stop it before he ultimately killed him. perhaps the three of them, or even the four of them, knew that Dohalim was the stronger one, that it was expected that he would come out as victor, that there would be death involved. but if Dohalim could incapacitate Tarnigen enough for their duel to be called...
but he'd been so persistent. of course he had to be. he was driven by his own ambition...]
I am undeserving of it. Of this. My title, and all that comes with it. I should have been the one stricken down instead. I hold no value to my life. I made a promise, and I broke it. And, like the coward that I am, I would rather end my own life rather than face it.
[he's still under the impression that he's alone in that aspect, that he has to deal with this guilt alone. in his dream, at least he's more willing to admit it, to give context to it, but the thought, so rooted in his psyche, comes out even in an environment made to nurture and give pause to the corruption and darkness]
no subject
[the words of hatred and unforgiveness spat at him still rings in his ears, clear as if she'd just thrown them at him mere moments before. it hurt. it hurt to hear them. it hurt to see the disappointed gaze in Avakhir's eyes behind his glasses, and the silence that accompanied it. their backs turning away from him before he'd descended down to Dahna, without so much as another word.
the both of them knew that he and Tarnigen had to be pitted against each other like this. they also knew what it all meant. Dohalim had promised them that, if it came down to it, he would stop his and Tarnigen's duel if it seemed like the man couldn't continue. that he would stop it before he ultimately killed him. perhaps the three of them, or even the four of them, knew that Dohalim was the stronger one, that it was expected that he would come out as victor, that there would be death involved. but if Dohalim could incapacitate Tarnigen enough for their duel to be called...
but he'd been so persistent. of course he had to be. he was driven by his own ambition...]
I am undeserving of it. Of this. My title, and all that comes with it. I should have been the one stricken down instead. I hold no value to my life. I made a promise, and I broke it. And, like the coward that I am, I would rather end my own life rather than face it.
[he's still under the impression that he's alone in that aspect, that he has to deal with this guilt alone. in his dream, at least he's more willing to admit it, to give context to it, but the thought, so rooted in his psyche, comes out even in an environment made to nurture and give pause to the corruption and darkness]